Who Fugged It More: Katy Perry vs Nicole Scherzinger

These two aren’t wearing the same thing, but both DID change from their BRIT Awards ensembles into something vaguely dated and belly-baring. And the Olympics are ending and football season is over, so it’s the time to go crazy.

I’m sure Katy Perry is tired of dressing like something that popped out of a candy factory, but you can clean it up and class it up and still look youthful, which this does not. If this had been a whole dress, maybe it would’ve worked better for me, but something about splitting it into pieces only emphasizes the musty cut of the top. It makes the sheerness of the skirt bottom look even more desperate — not for eyeballs, necessarily, but as a last-ditch attempt to bring this into today.

Nicole Scherzinger, who in this picture looks kind of like The Mean Kardashian, also went two-piece:

I love her shoes, although I’m not sure they really fit the outfit. The skirt is basically fine. The photo, I only showed you because it gives you the entire outfit; you can better see from the below angle why it bugs me:

It’s a snakeskin strapless bra. Between that and the skirt, I predict she spent a good portion of the night yanking and tugging at herself. This also shows the different textures on the skirt, which aren’t that attractive in this lighting, and that coat is such a puffy, large-shouldered throwback that I got whiplash from turning around to figure out whence it came. If she’d just tease up that hair, slather Vaseline on every camera lens, and shove on some giant plastic earrings, she could be ripped right out of that old Morgan Fairchild soap Paper Dolls. A show which America never embraced despite Morgan’s character being named Racine — yes, like the city in Wisconsin — and featuring the line, “She’s been in more beds than a hotel breakfast tray!” That’s solid gold TV bitchery, y’all, and it’s why the death of SoapNet hurts even more. Who will pay for the rights to these old shows now? HOW WILL MORGAN FAIRCHILD EAT.

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[Photos: Getty, WENN]