Apparently J.Lo not only recorded a song with Lin-Manuel Miranda and performed it with him on the Today show, but she also attended LMM’s final performance on Saturday night.
And I imagine her being like, “Listen, lover, it was not terrible. The hair was good. And it was nice how you let the woman win, and killed off the cheating, tired, lying man, the bastard Batman son of a bore and a shot glass, who sometimes writes but always is so NEEDY and can’t stop SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE and maybe has more hair than he is supposed to. That was smart. But there was maybe too much counting. We know how to get to ten. Also, it would sound better as ‘Anjennifer, J.Loza, and Jenny, the Lopez sisters.’ Also, I was not clear on the location of his block. All heroes have a block. ‘Hammy From The Block’ would have been a better theme song than the one about doing shots. So whatever. It could have been special, Lover-Manuel Miranda. But it was good enough for us to work together to sing about love. I don’t write songs with just anybody, you know. Only my old Marc. And that one country Jennifer with the name that is a mean plant. And Lil’ Wayne, and Luda, and Flo Rida, and Nas, and Eggy Azalea, and Pitfall, and Sultana, and Ja-Thingy, and Ricky Martin, and French Dakota. And all the other people. Other than them, this is not something I do every day. So I am going to bring it for you. I am going to dress like if Lindsay Lohan’s old leggings line married American Apparel on a cruise ship. Because you know who is non-stop? LOPEZ. And when your next musical is the story of my life, I will let you play Marc. Unless you want to be Ben, but… you do not.”
[Photo: Fame/Flynet]
