What the Fug: Chloe Grace Moretz


Okay, this was going to be about her outfit, but then I read a rumor that Chloe G.M. might be dating Brooklyn Beckham. And for starters, MY EYES, I can’t believe Posh’s child is old enough to DATE; also, I love that, and the only thing making me sad is that Chloe is not Taylor Swift, and thus we won’t get any angsty teen breakup anthems called, say, “Whatever (I Was Way More Into Your Dad Anyway).”

However, I do think Posh would have SOME NOTES about this outfit:

Chloe Grace Moretz Making An Appearance On 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!'

One such note would be, “STOP RIGHT NOW, thank you very much,” and then we’d get, “Who do you think you are?” followed by, “Now don’t go wasting my precious time; get your act together, we could be just fine.” And then, upon final sighting of the hideous plaid water-wings passing as sleeves, she would shriek, “Zig-a-zig ARRRRRRGH.” I’d like to be there. But I’ll understand if she doesn’t think to call me first.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Comments (50):

  1. Mina
    +9

    (obligatory) She’s going to have to turn sideways to the get through doorways.

  2. Ruth
    +10

    That would be a cute outfit for the fall minus the water wings. Right now I’m sweating looking at it.

    • Kris
      +12

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. If it wasn’t for the ruffled Scottish calypso catastrophes on her arms, I’d be out trying to replicate that outfit for myself right now.

      • Joanie
        +2

        Scottish Calypso Catastrophes must be someone’s band name!

        Katie, just stop. Please. Your shoulder and your shoes are crying for something better for you

        • Joanie
          +2

          Oops! Not Katie. I’m looking at two different articles at the same time. Gah! Bad Joanie

          CHLOE! You do not need water wings on land.

          • Cam
            +3

            It’s kind of goofy, but I think it’s also kind of cute for a 17-year-old. If anyone can wear that kind of shirt it’s a teenager.

  3. sarah
    +17

    At least the shirt is distracting from how unflattering those pants are?

    • swimmyfish
      +3

      I agree that the pants are the far-greater offender. They doing some complex inverse of stumpification, making her legs look fine but her torso look smooshed.

  4. Kate
    +12

    Children dating makes me feel old. I also can’t imagine my 17 year old self being interested in a 15 year old, but then again there were no Beckhams…

    •  Alyssa
      +7

      Eh, it happens. My now fiancé and I started dating when I was (newly) 17 and he was still 15 and dated for about a decade. Which…geez, we were such children.

      • Kate
        +2

        Oh, for sure, I just went to an all girls school and so the only younger guys I knew were through my brother, which is why the thought is a bit bizarre to me.

        •  Alyssa
          +1

          That puts a damper on dating prospects! I will admit though that said fiancé started out as my brother’s friend… :)

          • InvaderTak
            0

            Oops missed your comment before posting mine! No offense meant! I just personally can’t date younger.

            •  Alyssa
              0

              Ha, no problem. We’re close enough in age that it’s only a few months difference. And not really noticeable after high school/college.

        • InvaderTak
          +2

          Yeah, having a younger brother really puts a damper on dating younger. That’s like dating my baby brothers’ friends! Eww…

          • Andrew S.
            0

            I feel this way too. Anyone younger than me just becomes (in my head) someone he could’ve gone to school with despite the fact that our age difference is a nice sized one (7 years).

  5. Lisa
    +8

    That shirt is idiotic, but good grief, those pants! Yowza, they are BAD.

  6.  Alyssa
    +5

    Hack off the water wings and I want that shirt for fall. The pants aren’t the most flattering things I’ve ever seen, but I’m not completely mad at them. Only mildly ticked off.

  7. Rachel
    +13

    Thank you for all the Spice Girls lyrics – y’all are true fans. Chloe Grace’s outfit would be perfect on Ginger Spice if you swap out the plaid for a Union Jack print, circa 1998, of course.

  8. Art Eclectic
    +42

    “Whatever (I Was Way More Into Your Dad Anyway)”

    Comedy GOLD. Thank you.

    Now, I have the giggles for the rest of the day.

  9. anne p.
    +1

    No way. This can’t be the same CGM we enjoyed so much last week. Either this is one of those celebrity lookalikes for hire or the real CGM just raises her game when she knows she’ll be in the company of her lovely brother.

  10. The Rizz
    +5

    What?! He’s like 15!

    And she’s wearing tartan wings that would make my border collie fly into a herding tizzy.

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +2

      He’s 15, she’s 17; if it’s true (I do not think it is), it’s fine.

      • The Rizz
        +2

        Oh, I’m not pearl clutching by any stretch of the imagination.

        I just can’t imagine much is going on between these two with her fame and his famous mummy and daddy.

  11.  ohsohappy
    0

    Aww! That’s a shame. Not an outfit I would have expected on her. Fug from neck to toe, and that pains me to type that.

  12. Laura
    +23

    I think “zig-a-zig ARRRGH” might be one of my favorite things that’s happened this week.

    •  Amy
      +2

      I almost love this outfit because it brought us both “Whatever (I Was Way More Into Your Dad Anyway)” and “zig-a-zig ARRRRRRGH.”

  13. forrest gump
    +1

    ………..I believe in this high school girl, folks.

  14. halley
    +7

    just ditch the arm scrunchies. Otherwise, its very cute.

    • Cam
      0

      My thought exactly. It’s plenty cute and casual for a 17-year-old.

      • Heather
        +8

        the pants are SUCH a nightmare though. For any age.

        • Lori
          +3

          Yes. The pants are a horror show. They might be overshadowed by the top and easy to overlook because they are dark, but if you really look at them… yikes.

        •  Aimz
          +2

          I dunno. My mum loves her pair…..

  15. Jenz
    +1

    I’m not sure there is anyone alive that those pants would actually look good on, unless the top was so long it covered up what the actual pants were doing. Love her shoes though.

  16.  ElizabethT
    +5

    Is that Trevor behind her in the pink shirt and very snug trousers?

  17. Lori
    +5

    Suri’s Burn Book posted a photo of Chloe skateboarding with Brooklyn. I felt the need to buy a caftan and some cheesecake. When did I get old?

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +4

      I’ll join you, and bring champagne.

      What? It goes with mild cheeses! ;-)

  18. jenelope
    +2

    She’s wearing my prom shoes from 1989.

  19. Melissa
    +1

    Did any one else google Brooklyn Beckham and find ADORABLE photos of him carrying Harper around? Highly recommended if your heart needs warming.

  20.  Another Heather
    0

    I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but she looks cute and happy and while I wouldn’t wear it, it fits her personality.

  21. Mallory
    0

    I’d like to know if Ms. Brown Boots’ relationship to Trevor Grace

  22.  malie
    0

    *applause* A+ lyrics usage.