What the Fug?: Alice Eve


The other day I stumbled upon Sex and the City 2 on cable, and paused long enough to a) remember what an abomination it is against humankind; and b) see the portions where Alice Eve here, as Charlotte’s Hot Irish Nanny, is asked to jump up and down repeatedly while not wearing a bra, because despite being demonstrably a great caregiver and all-around nice person, her character’s main function is: BOOBS. I don’t know if that’s made her sensitive about them now, or what, but I don’t get this:

We have cute specs, a perfectly lovely and formal skirt, and then a slouchy white tee — which I wouldn’t object to if it were tucked in, perhaps, or properly fitted. Instead, it’s tied in a KNOT at her HIP, like she’s at a pool party in the eighties. Check it:

That’s terrible. It’s not flattering at all — not to the skirt, not to the bod. It actually makes it look strangely like she has a conical and crooked third breast growing down toward her hipbone. (Samantha Jones would die of envy at having an extra erogenous part, I’m sure.) I just can’t figure out why she’s undercutting such a lovely figure with one of Andrea Zuckerman’s go-to moves. Practically the whole moral of the first half of 90210‘s run was, “No, Andrea.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (35):

  1. Jen
    0

    I actually noticed the shoes before the top. (I accidentally misspelled that “shews” at first – which makes sense because, EW!)

  2. Jen
    0

    She’s adorable, though!

  3. qwertygirl
    0

    Perhaps she was confused–perhaps she thinks she is attending a formal pool party, the theme of which is “The 80s: Still Able to Cause Embarassment 25+ Years Later”

  4. Ailatan
    0

    Maybe she’s doing more bits for Starter For 10, in which her character gets a more brainy makeover? If you haven’t seen Starter For 10 go forth and find it: James McAvoy, Rebecca Hall, Domic Cooper, Benedict Cumberbatch all set in the 80′s.

  5. mhorv4
    0

    I am most likely getting new glasses on Satuday and now I am not going to be satisfied unless they are exactly like that-except in brown.

  6. Anj
    0

    Wow she looks soooo much like that one DA on older episodes of Law & Order: SVU! Anyone know who I’m taking about?
    Agreed the shirt should’ve been tucked it but I give her major points for wearing glasses to a shindig. However, I have to take points away for those shoes. That laid-back/fancy skirted outfit needs open-toed strappy sandals.

    • Karen G
      0

      You mean Stephanie March, also known as Mrs. Bobby Flay. And I see what you mean.

      • Heather
        0

        YES. Also, I think shoes are cute, if witch-y (can be a good thing in the right context). Perhaps there is an explanation for this tshirt? As those below note, did she spill something on herself? Though this isn’t a very clever solution.

  7. Jules
    0

    I can sympathize, I can’t ever seem to knot an overly baggy shirt just right, in a pinch.
    So then on to plan B, like cinching it with a belt…

    Otherwise it seems OK

  8. Shiitake
    0

    Tee shirt abuse.

  9. Art Eclectic
    0

    I need that skirt and I need it NOW.

  10. cc
    0

    I don’t enjoy how her name blends together to “Aliceeve”, other than that she is a cutie.

    • Aj
      0

      You want to see a real cutie find the old Jamaica Inn BBC series that starred a very young Jane Seymour and her dad, Trevor Eve. He was adorable.

  11. flitzy
    0

    She looks like the Desperate Housewife who got canned, Nicole something.

  12. Jill
    0

    My guess is she spilled something on it ans is using the knot as camouflage. Really terrible camouflage.

    • anny
      0

      That’s what I thought – she spilled on or damaged her real top, and this is a coverup.

  13. pantsonfire
    0

    Wow, I think that skirt might be legit amazing. And even though I have no clue who this person is, she is undeniably extremely pretty and I like her glasses. So much potential for awesome. She would be adorable if she unknotted the shirt and was wearing a great pair of jeans and booties or something. Or, she would look fantastic if she ditched the specs, found a tight black tank or something, kept the skirt, and found a non-heinous pair of shoes. Basically, this outfit is a Frankenstein’s monster of gorgeous dressy skirt, a few casual elements, fugly shoes, and wtf shirtknot.

    Controversial statement alert: I don’t think I ever really love glasses with more dressier evening clothes. And I am a bigtime glasses wearer! I just prefer contacts with dressier outfits. But I am open to being persuaded that I am wrong, if there are good examples out there.

    • pantsonfire
      0

      dressier – not “more dressier.” blerg

    • Sandra
      0

      Some of us don’t have a choice. Contacts irritate the hell out of my eyes and I never wear them. I have no idea whether that applies to Alice here. I don’t even know if she really needs glasses or just wears them as an accessory. But I’m pretty sure that anything that involves a white tee-shirt knotted at the hip cannot be classified as “dressier evening wear” in any circumstances. Even if she is wearing it at night.

      She herself is quite lovely; the lucky girl inherited her mother’s bone structure.

      • pantsonfire
        0

        True true. I also do not think this outfit qualifies as “dressier evening wear” (I think I called it Frankenstein’s monster… haha). But if she wore a silk tank with the skirt, it would make it more formal or whatever you want to call it, so that got me thinking about whether the glasses would work with such an outfit., which is an interesting hypothetical for me, as a glasses/contacts person. And so concludes my ramble.

        • noideawhatimdoing
          0

          Part of the problem, I think, is that these are Clark Kent glasses – so maybe, once she got inside, she found a phone booth, ditched the glasses and t-shirt, and revealed a proper evening gown underneath.

  14. luxsword
    0

    This kind of glasses is so dreadful. Enough with that ugly hype, please.

  15. yeahandalso
    0

    She was one of those “Next Big Thing” actresses for a while that never happened, which is too bad, the little I’ve seen of her she seems quite talented. I’d much rather have her than say Sienna Miller or Abbie Cornish in a buncha stuff.

  16. Claire L1
    0

    Oh, if only she’d tucked that shirt in and gotten ride of those horrible shoes! I would really love this!
    I am CRAVING that skirt!!

  17. Guerra
    0

    The shoes are my main problem! They are hideous!!

  18. vandalfan
    0

    The skirt has sequins! Purple and blue- a total win. The specs are great, though I wear mine in tortoiseshell. The t shirt may be an excusable mistake, a spilled drink or torn strap, but those shoes are deliberate. They are also dark green, as if they weren’t ugly enough already.

  19. Sajorina
    0

    I really like her, so I’m glad I haven’t seen the SATC movies! And, I would totally FAB her if she was wearing a simple black shirt, but I can’t condone the white t-shirt 80s style knot on the side… It is soooo FUGLY!

  20. Brötchen
    0

    …a perfectly lovely and and transperent formal skirt…

  21. Ms. A.
    0

    Loose fitting t-shirt side knot. I can’t.

  22. Other Emily
    0

    She’s so pretty. I like her glasses and skirt. She has amazing boobs, that’s true too. The t-shirt defies explanation, but I like the idea that she had to throw it on when she spilled on her real shirt or something and then just happened to get caught by a photographer. Hey, minus the photographer part, that has happened to me more than once.

  23. Terre Bowden
    0

    the shoes. the shoes. the shoes.

  24. Jo
    0

    Pretty girl. Her mum starred in the Gold Blend ads with Anthony Head (Giles in Buffy) in the 80s. Anyway, as an extremely myopic person, I can only approve of the specs if they are prescription ones and necessary for vision not as a fashion statement. Like Larry David’s ethos for baldies in a way. You gotta earn it!