Well Played, Heidi Klum


well-played

My favorite Halloween costumes tend to be the ones people do without any regard for vanity, because that’s often when you get the stuff that’s really clever — like, my friend this year who went as the end of Chapter 9 of R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet,” when he (SPOILER) reveals there is a man in the cabinet and that man is a midget (“midget… midget… midget…”). She found his exact suit and built a wearable cupboard. I mean, come on. That is stellar.

And then there’s Heidi Klum — who, granted, doesn’t need to have vanity because she’s Heidi f’ing Klum the other 364 days of the year, but still:

[Photos: WENN.com]

This is apparently “Transformers-inspired,” although she also kind of resembles Electra, the fancy newfangled train car from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical-on-roller-skates Starlight Express. And that would have been ballsier, because I’ve seen that show twice — once when it opened in the UK and then once after it had allegedly been revamped a bit — and although at that age I loved it sincerely, I also knew it was really freaking terrible. Also, can you imagine this costume with wheels on the bottom? Because Heidi appears to be standing on stilts made of ski boots, and that makes her approximately this gigantic:

Just for your reference, Seal — according to his IMDb page — is six-foot-three and change, but in this photo he looks like he’s my height, thanks to Heidi’s gargantuan plastic gams. Gotta love a man who doesn’t mind when his woman towers over him, even when it’s by bolting herself to her old ski boots. She looks SO freaky and SO completely committed to the freakitude that I can’t help but love it. Way to go all in, Heidi. Now if only you could waltz up to Michael and Nina and scare some sense into them before they tank next season’s Project Runway finale the way they did this one…
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