Well Played, and Fug or Fab: Naomi Watts


Naomi Watts is pretty:

As is her outfit. I love a dress that feels vaguely art deco without veering into I’M WEARING THE CHRYSLER BUILDING ON MY HEAD territory. This is simple, but not boring and I bet it’s amazing close-up.

Also amazing close-up, I imagine — though perhaps not in the same way — is what La Watts wore earlier in the day:

Yeah, that’s got a lot going on. Yeah, if you stare at it long enough, creepy faces begin to appear in the pattern. Sure, it looks like what would happen if a beach towel and a poncho had a baby. It’s crazy. And yet…I rather like this. You should probably know, however, that I am actually wearing a caftan right now, so my views may currently be irretrievably skewed.

Leave a reply

Comments (154):

  1. Danielle B

    Fug, but easy to unfug. It just needs to be more tailored and have a skirt with cleaner lines instead of that asymmetrical saddlebag mess. I actually quite like the pattern. I just want it to look more like part of the Alexander McQueen “Zuul” collection.

  2. Fuh Ugh

    Ya know, I’m fine with this. It’s that dark line down her part where her roots are growing out that is heinous.

  3. Rach

    I am mostly concerned about the white dress behind Watts in the first picture. I think those are metal bows! I am suffocating just looking at it! Can we send one to Heidi Montag?

  4. Liz

    Just wanted to pass this along – in fact, the architect of said Chrysler Building, William van Alen, DID go to a 1931 ball dressed just this way:


  5. chopchop

    Tell her to eat somethinggggg!! Her collar bones are trying to break free from her body!

  6. Jocelyn

    I’m staring at the yellow shoes. Were they going for a pop of color vibe or was this an attempt at matching? If only they were black…
    Also, maybe if the dress had more delicate sleeves/a spaghetti strap even…it would be less beach towel-y

  7. Eurydice

    Her breasts are STARING at me! They FOLLOW me around the ROOM!!

    At least the droopy bits on the sides of the skirt match the droopy bits on the sides of her head. I’d lose the bright turquoise diamonds on the bodice and call it a day.

  8. Jocelyn

    I have to get this off my chest.

    I don’t want to spend a day with Nicole Richie, and if I had to, I’d expect way more than a $300 Starbucks gift card!!!!

    wheh, I feel better having said that.

  9. andyleigh

    Naomi Watts is generically pretty and generically, averagely talented. In other words, she bores the crap out of me. And her clothing, as in the first dress, tends to reflect that same generically pretty blandness. On someone not so bland that first dress would sing because it is rather fantastic in it’s understated art deco way. It’s just that on Naomi it becomes as bland as she.

    On the other hand, that second outfit implies that Naomi has a personality after all. I like it, I like the in-your-face print and the day-glo sandals. If this actually reflects her personality, I wish she’d drag that thing out of the dark corner she’s been hiding it in and let it shine.

  10. Anika

    The first dress is stunning. The second is fun, I don’t love it but it’s fine. But the shoes I LOVE. Even in yellow, possibly especially in yellow. I want those shoes (and if Naomi is willing, I want THOSE shoes, I adore her.)

  11. Katharine

    @ChopChop – Her arms look as though they have some flesh, though, and her face looks healthy. I’m going to disagree here. I’m sure she’s maintaining an “actress figure”, but some of us just HAVE prominent collarbones. MY collarbones stick out, and my BMI is “overweight” and I wear a size 10 right now.

    Both of these dresses are gorgeous, in their separate ways, but I want to marry the Art Deco number and have its children.

  12. Allie

    I kinda like the pattern and the yellow shoes, I just think either the shoulders needs to have less material or the saddle bags have to go. One or the other might be interesting, but both make it look too much like an oversized swimsuit cover-up.

    LOOOOOOVE the first dress!

  13. Lissa

    I’m with Rach- A formal ball gown with what appears to be a bedazzled belt?!? This is calling for further investigation….

  14. Kathy

    Allie is right…less material on the shoulders would be my choice, but either that or the lopsided hem should go. However, I COVET the yellow shoes, and would wear them always!! So sweet!

  15. Share

    The second dress looks droopy, as if it is giving the entire world the Gas Face. Which, incidentially, I would give right back to the dress.

    The first dress, though, is spectacular.

  16. andyleigh

    I also want to point out that there’s a pond sex scene going on on the front of that second dress. First, there’s a huge frog frowning from Naomi’s chest, the glowing blue eyes right over her tatas. I suspect it is the frog god of fertility. Then down below at lower belly level are two frogs having sex in the water. The one on top is grasping the one below, it’s eyes reflecting ecstasy. The one below appears afraid and possibly drowning. I won’t go into the actual mechanics involved, but except for the frog god that’s really kinda how it’s done in frog world.

    It takes a brave woman to wear an ode to frog sex on their body. Naomi may have more personality than I’ve been giving her credit for.

  17. home4eco

    What a beautiful looking dress the first one is. Good design on second one but doesn’t fit well.

  18. granny

    She sure looks better in the second photo without that ugly red lipstick.

  19. Josie

    ew, her collarbones creep me out. Otherwise, its all good. That’s a lie–I hate the hemline of the 2nd dress. The first one is fine. But those collarbones–they look like they could snap!

  20. Kate

    I’m not over the moon for it, but it’s cute. I do love her shoes, though.

  21. Alex

    Why has no one commented on that white effort behind Naomi? Padded shoulders, beading, f-u-l-l dropped skirt and belt? And in white? Looks like the wedding dress that could not stop.
    Someone went way over the top. Who is she BTW??

  22. Celebrity Fashion

    I want that dress, it’s so beautiful.

  23. Sandra

    Dear Naomi,

    You own clothes, obviously. So remember to put them on rather than leaving the house in the bath towel you used to protect the furniture while you were tie-dyeing.

    The evening gown was lovely.

  24. Maria

    Love the first dress. The second makes her look like she’s having a Chico’s kind of day.

  25. Cristina

    I love DVF, but this dress is an embarrassment. Its not that I don’t like it, I do. It just such a blatant knock-off of McQueen, and I know DVF is capable of coming up with fabulous things without knocking other people off. And if it looks that much like McQueen, Naomi Watts should be wearing the real thing.

  26. boo

    First dress is stunning.
    Second dress-better fitting bodice, get rid of the droopy hem and give the shoes to me. Fixed!

  27. Filmcricket

    I would love the first one so much more if it were just about any other colour but pink. I hate pink, and I especially hate that pale baby pink. The detailing is gorgeous, though.

    The second one – print is fine, would like a little less material around the shoulders and hem, but the shoes elevate it, they are fabulous.

    The real question is why doesn’t Naomi learn from Diane Kruger’s example and bump up her style grades with some A+ arm candy? Put Liev Schrieber in a tux next to that first one and I’ll forget it’s pink…

  28. Janet

    The woman behind her is dressed as a Christmas ornament!

  29. anonymoose

    wow! she looks stunning (in a good way) in the first dress…except for the awful madonna ciccone hair and garish makeup. the second dress (beach towel/poncho spawn) is a bad lsd trip and even she looks appalled wearing it, as though “can you believe this mess?” though, the yellow orthopedic shoes somehow look fine. maybe it’s the red pedicure?

  30. Anne B








  31. Kristen

    Can we please just talk about the white and silver eyesore behind Watts in picture #1? I am pretty sure if some investigating was done we would discover that an Elvis memorabilia collection was missing a belt.

  32. Kate

    Second dress needs a waist–then it would be cute and summery.

  33. Deb

    Well done, Liz, on the van Alen photo; it was all I’d hoped for when I breathlessly entered the link.

    As for the person behind Watts in the formal pic, I will be severely disappointed if she is not Loretta Lynn, channeling her Grand Ole Opry heyday.

  34. Cecily

    I positively ADORE that first dress. I absolutely DO NOT LIKE the second. A cat’s face is staring at me from the skirt!

  35. Tina

    @Andyleigh “Naomi Watts is generically pretty and generically, averagely talented.” – clearly you did not see The Painted Veil or Eastern Promises. You may not like her looks, but there’s nothing just average about her talent.

    Those yellow shoes are made of awesome!

  36. Emily

    In the first one I feel like she looks like (a much less haggard)version of Rachel Zoe, no? I never really thought that before but now I am making side by sides and trying to figure out what it is…

  37. Blanche

    My friends, what makes the second dress anything other than a non-starter is the righteous yellow shoes. Also, that Watts is skinny and pseudo-blonde.

    I think she’s starting to grow wings out of her clavicles (see top art deco dress photo). Do you think she’ll go angel, or demon?

  38. Jacquilynne

    I think that if the second dress had an actual waist to it, instead of the droopy mess it does have, it would be much improved. So, tighten up the waistline and see where it needs to go from there — probably to sleeve-or-strap-but-not-their-bastard-love-child-landia.

  39. Alisa

    I cannot stop looking at the awesomeness that is behind naomi in that first picture!

    It’s like a christmas sweater from the 80′s (it has bedazzled bows people! Bedazzled BOWS!!! with more crytal, and do I see pearls?! Please say yes I do!!); paired with a belt from the grand old opry collection, and finished with the skirt of a old wedding dress, or christmas tree skirt.

    And, holy array of bracelets on her arm.

    I love the background of these red carpet shots, they are always so entertaining! :)

  40. jean

    My issue is she doesn’t bring along the best possible accessory next to Josh Jackson–Liev Scheiber. Liev Scheiber, Josh Jackson, and Peter Scarsgaaaaaard …perfect arm candy with a glint in their eyes.

  41. jeckie

    the second dress…what is with the hem?? Crazy unflattering…hose are like saddlebags made of ruffles.

  42. SweetVa

    This is what Dakota Fanning will look like when she grows up!

  43. Janellionaire

    I’m with the people who need to know more about the dress (dare i say, event?) happening in the background of the first pic. That is gloriously fug. If i saw someone wearing that, i would laugh out loud with glee and then thank her silently for making my day, while pretending i was laughing at a funny joke i just thought of, because God forbid she think i was mocking her, and not wear that dress again,and deprive future people of its amazingness. On the other hand, if i saw someone wearing Naomi’s second dress here, i would openly laugh, and point, and grab at random strangers and invite them to laugh with me. It’s that bad. Love the shoes though.

  44. Maria

    The more I look at the second outfit, the more I want it to wear when I’m on vacation in Tucson, AZ next week. But I keep kind of thinking “On a young woman? In Cannes? Maybe not?” I’m perplexed.

    The first one, I love.

  45. andyleigh

    Tina said,”clearly you did not see The Painted Veil or Eastern Promises. You may not like her looks, but there’s nothing just average about her talent.

    Those yellow shoes are made of awesome!”

    This is true, I have not seen those. So I’ll defer to your knowledge and retract that crack about average talent. Generically pretty still stands, though.

    And I totally agree on the shoes!

  46. djheydt

    I like the first dress. True, the bodice seems JUST SLIGHTLY to be holding her boobs down, but at least they’re not being thrust upward into our view like St. Eulalia’s (early Christian martyr, had ‘em cut off and presented to somebody on a plate).

    The second dress is one of those items that I think would look better as a wall decoration or something, than as a garment for a human body. It’s a pretty color, or several pretty colors. I don’t get the hemline at all.

  47. yeahahandalso

    Love the first one

    Second is really cute for a night out somewhere hot and beachy, like perfect for getting drinks in Miami…but for the Cannes Film Festival it feels a bit underdreased

  48. KristanC

    Why were we not offered a choice of “Yay to the dress but OH HONEY THOSE SHOES MY EYES NO NO GOD PLEASE NO” to the strappy monstrosities on her feet?

  49. vandalfan

    The second dress and clunky shoes are so bad I will not dignify them with comment. She’s pretty in the first picture, but it does look like a Convention of The Brides. I’m going in for a close-up look…

  50. marcia

    OT: I think it stinks that you are making us choose between the equally brilliant Homeo and Fooliet and Turner and Douche. That’s cold, fug girls. It’s going to keep me up tonight going back and forth over if I chose correctly.

  51. minerva

    The first dress is beautiful. The deco is enough to give it interest even if the color is a little blah.

    Hate the second dress- the print, the cut, the sag, the drape. It’d be okay as a swimsuit coverup. Love the yellow shoes.

  52. adh

    It looks like her boobs are frowning. Why so sad?

  53. Sajorina

    The white dress is gorgeous!!! I would get married in it…

    The other dress is neither heinous nor fabulous, but it is kind of fun. And, I can definitely see an “owl” inbetween her boobs and a “cat” in her belly button looking straight at me… weird! But, I LOVE THE YELLOW SHOES!!!

  54. La Seditiosa

    I do not like dress number 2. The cut is floppy, the print is beach towel-ey, and the skirt is… unfortunate.

    But dress number 1, oh wow! I want it! Probably not in pink, but I want it.

  55. RAVEN

    It’s what an anorexic wears to hide the fact that she’s anorexic……….. this is completely hideous, sorry DVF but this is one design I can’t swallow. The urge to vomit is strong like morning sickness that’s all day except in this case every time I look at this dress.

  56. 'Mela

    Dress #1 Delicious
    The Naomi I’ve always enjoyed running my eyes over…

    Dress #2 Not so much…
    But I do love the shoes…

    BTW what’s with her new full-tilt bleached look?

    She had softer looking blonde highlights that looked more yute-ful, before…

    But rave on, Naomi!

  57. Melissa

    I also NEED MORE about the – 80s White House dinner gown? – behind Naomi’s well-played. Who IS that masked (well, decapitated) woman?

  58. Bubba

    Anne B., I love you for that.
    Whoever said Chicos for dress #2 – I second you!

  59. will-smith-but-not-that-guy

    That first dress really is glorious! Not particularly original, of course (cuz this is this website, and we always have to add something bitchy to even the most sincere compliments, right….RIGHT….???), but glorious — she SO needs to be in a remake of a screwball Lombard, with Robert Downey Jr. channeling Gable….I”M SERIOUS, LET”S GIVE RDJ THE BREAK HE DESERVES….but the second? Um. Oh honey. Do NOT channel Janis Joplin: The Heroin Years. Do NOT….NEVER…FOR ANY REASON….

  60. Lizzie

    I don’t get it. How can someone so tiny and with so much help continue to leave the house in so many horrible get ups? I do, however, really like the first dress. A lot.

  61. Laura

    I have jutting collar bones too but not quite that jutting…she could use to gain 5 pounds, makes her face prettier and gives her some much needed boob.

    I love the first dress, I think it’s stunning, as is her make-up/hair. But the ultra skinniness ruins it for me. I like to see dresses on a female body, not a little boys body.

  62. pomedeterre

    I think the first dress is beautiful, but can i just say, what the fug is going on with the woman standing behind her on the steps in the first photo? what is that? it’s like the kind of wedding dress you can only get your hands on if you have no choice but to get married in a former Soviet, Central Asian, totalitarian state … OR it’s a bit like a sparkly evening wear version of what those Mormon polyamy women wear, the ones who were in the news a few years ago with loaf-like hair. Maybe it is one of those dresses but crudely customised … by Alexis Carrington … on methadrone.

  63. Alexandra

    Naomi is FABULOUS, but I can’t even focus on her amazing dress because the woman behind her in photo #1 accessorized her bedazzled wedding gown from 1982 with a bedazzled white cowboy belt!!!!! Epic.

  64. Kyasarin

    The second one looks like a swimsuit cover-up. With really good shoes.

  65. couture dresses

    Didn’t recognize her in the top pic at a first glance. That dress is amazing and she knows she looks good in it. The bottom dress, however, could have a better shape.

  66. Carla

    Love the bottom of the dress! The top…not so much. Looks like she doesn’t have any breasts.

  67. Anonymous

    OMG!!!! The woman with the horrible white monstrosity is in the background of this picture too!!! Only she’s too far away for us to see her face!!! FugNation!!! A CALL TO ACTION!!! Someone more computer savvy than I needs to zoom in and unpixelate (is that a word?) like they do on Law and Order…


  68. Angie

    The Be-Dazzled “Scream” “Gown” is giving me flashbacks. I remember wearing the western style belt but the pointy end had to be tied in a knot, pointing down to your crotch. ‘Memba that? Was it the ’80′s?

  69. bilijin

    I actually think the first dress is as close as you can get to perfection without being Grace Kelly. I can find nothing wrong with it, which is saying A LOT. The second dress is unfortunate, but is saved by the first one. I don’t care for the pattern, but if you have to wear it, have it tailored. It’s fun if nothing else. And she’s not nude.

  70. Myystque

    It looks like it’s dragging her body down. Her body actually looks sad to me.

  71. computer repair miami

    I think she looks very beautiful. The dress she is wearing is absolutely gorgeous, I love the whole the whole Naomi’s look.

  72. executive development

    Very well played. Especially on the second photo. I absolutely love the dress and the beautiful yellow sandals with it.

  73. Jennifer

    Forgive me if I am repeating what someone else said, but someone needs to force-feed that girl a cheeseburger and a key lime pie! Her collar bones could carve a turkey…not that she’s eating any…

    Oh, and…I like the white art-deco dress. The other thing is hideous.

  74. A Proper Bostonian

    The first dress is absolutely stellar. The red lipstick saves her from being bland in that Charlize I-sprayed-myself-beige Theron way that bugs me so much. She looks fantastic.

    The second dress unnerved me at first, but the more I looked at it, the more I thought, “Brave.” She can’t wear lovely neutrals all the time. It probably looks better when she’s moving.

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