Well Played/Fug or Fab: Reese Witherspoon


I know I’m getting old because every time I see that This Means War ad where Chelsea Handler barks that Chris Pine’s small hands means he has a “Mike and Ike for a [SMASH CUT SO WE DON'T HEAR HER SAY THE WORD "DICK"],” I think, “must everything be so crass?” And I say that as a moderately crass person. ANYWAY, I was reading a review for said movie — I think it was in EW — and they noted that Reese Witherspoon here has lost that sort of high-strung, uptight quality she used to bring to things and now has this very relaxed aura, and I think that’s true of her in pictures lately as well. She’s just seemed very CHIPPER lately:

Her marriage must be going well. This picture cracks me up: The dress is adorable, but nothing is funnier than Tom Hardy’s head just floating randomly over her shoulder. He does not appear to approve.

I am not sure if I approve of this one:

Okay, but first: That’s McG, and I had no idea McG looked like that. I always imagined McG looking like a very more hipster Justin Theroux. It turns out I totally think McG is cute.

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Comments (45):

  1. Joy Engel

    Her second dress is an opera curtain for her vagina! She has to be pregnant. HAS TO BE

  2. Lori

    DECIVISELY???? Um no..

  3. Erin McGarrahan

    That first pic, with the bubblegum pink dress, that pose, and the huge grin, just makes me think of Elle Woods (in a good way).

    • Jasmine

      Yes, very Elle Woods! Though I wish she didn’t have the black tights/black shoes thing going on with it — especially in that picture, it just looks like her body ends when the dress ends.

      • theotherjennifer

        Jasmine – agreed. I don’t get the sleeveless dress with black tights/shoes. Love the shoes in the black dress photo.

      • Lilibet

        You’ve got to wonder who organises what she wears and where she is going to be photographed. Don’t they take the background into account? (The black dress isn’t so bad you know, because I think she has really cute knees.)

  4. Francesca

    The 2nd dress is sort of a reverse version of getting up from a leather chair on a hot day and having your skirt caught between your butt cheeks.

  5. Erica

    In the words of Rachel Zoe (although I think she is a total moron), “I die” for that pink dress.

  6. ceecee

    The pink dress is cute but not with those heavy black tights (which against the black background makes it look like her torso is floating in midair). The second dress looks like she got the hem stuck in her underwear.

  7. Sandra

    She’s newly and happily married….that usually does make a girl feel chipper, doesn’t it? Haven’t tried it myself.

    YES to the pink dress, though she needs sheer tights. Against the black backdrop she appears to be hovering leglessly above the ground. The black dress is Figure Skating Funeralwear.

  8. Travis Harrison Lafferty

    I kinda wish she hadn’t worn tights the color of a California Raisin… It’s one of those dresses that are probably more flattering if she shows a little leg.

    That second dress just appears to be giving birth to her legs, which gives me violent flashbacks of freshman health class where they made us watch a horrifying childbirth video. HER VAGINA EXPLODED. IN A BATHTUB. *hides under a blanket*

  9. Susan

    Love the pink dress but without the tights and add some groovy/mod black boots. No to the vagina curtin (but yes to the description of the dress!).

  10. TaraMisu

    The pink dress is adorable, the tights however need to go!

    The second is fugly, fugly…. vagina opera curtains indeed.

  11. Cecily

    I am SOOOOOOOOO with you on the crass element! Every tag for every show during Modern Family breaks last night was vulgar and stupid. Bring up the bar, entertainment people! And Vaginal Opera Curtain is hilarious up there!

  12. vandalfan

    I like the first look, but heavy tights of any color with sleeveless strikes me as incongruous. The second one makes me reflect that a tulip skirt is never, ever going to work, no matter how hard they try, not lots of fabric at the waist, nor at the hips like here, nor any open in front curtain skirt of any kind. Her boo, on the other hand, is fab.

  13. oaksusu

    Forget about her dress!
    That’s Korean writing in the background!
    She must be in Korea!
    Sigh… I miss home.

  14. Halo

    I hate the pink dress and think it fits weirdly and doesn’t flatter Reese. The color is awesome, but the style is lacking. The second is just dumb, but she herself is simply adorable in both photos. Chipper and happy and just really appealing.

  15. KelseyA

    Would have been nice if someone told her that her skirt was stuck in her underwear BEFORE the picture was snapped.

  16. filmcricket

    I’m just trying to imagine someone more hipster than Justin Theroux. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, if Theroux were any more hip he’d have difficulty seeing over his pelvis.

  17. charlotte

    Why do neither of them fit??? Does no longer being a Type A personality mean she has lost control of her wardrobe functions?

  18. Amanda

    You know what I appreciate about her in both of these photos? She’s standing like a normal human being. She’s not posing with her legs twisted like a pretzel in order to appear as narrow as humanly possible. She is actually facing the camera full-on, legs uncrossed (with her hands on her hips!), and nobody is running from their computer screens screaming, “Ahhh, Reese Witherspoon is SO WIDE, why does she even bother getting up in the morning?!” For that alone, she deserves a Well Played.

  19. Mahastee

    The first dress I have no problem with, but the outfit is kind of a scrolldown fug. I suspect the black tights & shoes would be too heavy even if they weren’t blending right into the black background.

  20. schroob

    In the second pic, are they standing in front of a store called “A Twosome Place”? Um, wow.

  21. Amy

    Maybe it was the Mike and Ike reference… but that first pic just screams GOOD N PLENTY to me… I like how she’s all chipper and all. But something’s awry with her fashion sense in both of these. Not like her…

  22. Fuh Ugh

    Oh, look! Isn’t that Elle Woods? Over there. In the pink dress! Where’s Bruiser? I wonder why Elle has hooves for feet?

  23. Srivastava

    I like the first look.The pink dress is cute but not with those heavy black tights.sarees

  24. Veronica

    I really like the first one, though I agree the black tights are a little heavy. Perhaps she had a coat or wrap on over it that she took off for the photos? It would have balanced it more.

    The second one is quite pretty, too, though I’m not a big fan of tulip skirts. I would have preferred it with a straighter hem.

  25. Kathy K

    McG guest starred on Supernatural as McG. He is multi-talented. Overall, not thrilled with Reese’s looks recently.

  26. Sajorina

    The dresses are both OK, nothing special! I like McG more than I like the dresses… He was so funny when he punked Katie Holmes in “Punked”! I’ve liked him ever since!

  27. Kara K

    She’s so relaxed and charming! I saw her on Conan promoting this movie and I just want to be her friend. Which is not something I would have said of her a few years ago. (Though I would have said it of Elle Woods.)

    Also that pink dress smokin’.

  28. Alaurable

    This whole post made me think of the movie Freeway Reese was in when she was younger and pointier. First off because it’s about a million times more crass than someone saying dick, and it’s pretty funny and I wish Reese would go back to real funny, and also because McG looks like Kiefer Sutherland in it. Seriously tho, if you haven’t seen it, do. Just for Reese wearing high-rise gangster jeans with a belly top, and for Brittany murphy who was actual a good actress, and for Brooke Shields, and for Alanna Ubach as a hard-core chola.

  29. neiges

    Apparently I am the only one loving the second one ( although I’d like a better photo) and hating the first. Black and fluorescent pink? No sir not for me. It makes me think of my homework in the 80ies – black ink and pink fluo marker.

  30. Dressed Well

    Cute dresses!

  31. Leah

    McG looks like Jason Sudekis, i.e. totally cute.

  32. Kasey

    That pink dress did not need tights……

  33. Lily1214

    Not her best look. Maybe it’s the lighting but it does look wrinkled, doesn’t it? Or perhaps it just doesn’t fit.

  34. jean

    Apparently she likes McG as well, judging by her warm smile. This is what was missing from that horrible magazine cover–her sparkiness. And her bangs. She looks better with bangs. Hopefully she can rebound from her string of horrible movie choices.

  35. NYCGirl

    I’d like the second dress better if the mesh wasn’t visible underneath the flowers. I agree with the majority on the first– cute, but the tights are unnecessary.

  36. Rubee

    Contrary to most people here, I think she’s pulling off the tulip dress; and even her face’s expresion and hair looks remarkable better than the first pic. Newlywed glow and related grin are ok, but her face in the first pic looks definitly aged. The pink dress is very pretty but it is not fitting her well; I’m actually seem to be the only one who’s noticing pantylines underneath. And the tights must go.