Sorry, I am physically incapable of seeing people wearing leis without making that joke. Yeah, eventually my children will find this totally humiliating, but that will be awesome in and of itself, not?

    However, I feel like that smile really says, "thank you for suing the French for publishing those topless pictures of me. It was a gross invasion of privacy, and they ought to know that you really hate the French paparazzi for all the shit they pulled with your mother. Let's go have a mai tai."

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