Well Played, Mostly, And Then Not As Much: Jessica Chastain


Here’s the thing: Is it a bit bridal? Yes. Is it prettier and more unique than Kim Kardashian’s Fairly Obvious Royal Wedding Dress Of Truest True Love? Yes. At the very least KimKard could have surprised us, after putting us through all that. But, I digress. Is Chastain’s bridolatry — a word I just invented — appropriate? Also yes, because if anyone is a Bride of Hollywood right now, it is Jessica Chastain. I should warn her, though — I don’t know if the food at the reception will be very good. I’m not sure very many people chew anything in this town.


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Comments (24):

  1. Squirrel!

    I’m not up on the current slate of Crayola colors, so I’ll have to go with pastel names I remember from the past: Orchid. Lavender. Periwinkle. I think redheads look stunning in purply shades.

  2. MamaJamz

    Oooh, I’d go with a nice warm moss green. And I have to say that I loved the black dress, too. Sure it was austere, but I think in a cool, dramatic, and flattering way.

  3. Alexandra

    Yes! Purply shades! I was thinking burgundy myself.

  4. allisan

    My husband took me to see The Debt this past weekend. I think it was this hot redhead that sucked him in. He’s a sucker for redheads, which is a good thing, because I am a redhead. And the movie wasn’t half bad.

    The bangs age her. They instantly made her beautiful face look looonger – she looks like the older sister to the pretty fresh-faced gal in the non-color dress. I don’t hate the non-color and the obvious for me would be a mossy green or a turqoise. I love the shoes with the black gown…I think they are the same ones I was compelled to look for after Nina Garcia wore them on PR and they are by Mui Mui.

  5. Amanda in Austin

    The first dress would look lovely in an icy blue color. Or periwinkle.

  6. Lori

    the bridular dress looks too tight in the waist and across the hips. Is she going to have to sit down? Because ouch.

  7. emster

    Pic 2: She needs better support in that dress.

  8. vandalfan

    Not bridal, it seems more peignoir to me. I actually love that color, but not the accursed sheer lace overlay, with chenille foot-bumper. She also needs (ahem) more support in the bodice. The black mess is just deer-in-the-headlights, but the last is worst. The jumper is so ill-fitting that her waist is wider than her boobs. I imagine she’s trying to disguise herself with the face fringe. And with the nude hooves, too. Tsk, tsk. She must have lost a bet.

  9. Sonya

    I would change the color to a beautiful emerald green or an eggplant purple. I love a pale girl in a jewel tone.

  10. themis

    Somewhere, Bryce Dallas Howard must be, ‘Nooo, we didn’t need HER, we already had ME!’

    Think you could post ten pictures of the two of them and I would pick the wrong one seven of ten times.

  11. Cecily

    Emerald. This woman would look amazing in emerald. And no on the bangs. No, no, no.

  12. amys

    Going Crayola: I was thinking either a bold seafoam green or soft/pale violet.

  13. The Editor

    She dresses simple and elegant, nothing special about her style.


  14. Libby

    I would recommend a teal/peacock blue color for her dress – she needs a vibrant color to complement the warm hues of her pale skin and strawberry blond hair.

  15. Emmy

    “Bridolatry”! Love…

    Am I the only one who initially thought the first pic was Christina Hendricks?

  16. annabeth

    Purples, deep greens, peacock blue — all would be stunning on her. If she really wants a neutral, I’d recommend a very dark gray, maybe with undertones of slate: That would still make her skin and eyes pop but maybe provide the classic look she seems to go for. And the color on the first dress looks a lot better in natural light than it did on stage; seems to have more of a gleam to it there.

  17. Sarah

    This isn’t even a comment about Jessica (she’s beautiful and red is a great color for her) but about Olivia Wilde’s bangs. I’m SO GLAD you hate them as much as I do. Why is she doing that to herself??!?!?!?
    I feel validated.

  18. Christopher D

    Periwinkle – if you want to stay pale, Aubergine (maybe with a metalic edge) if you want to go bold. Way better breastural support (you can, I can), and NO to the bangs.

    And @ themis – I spat my tea all over the counter, very funny!

  19. unbounded

    @emster – that is what I was going to say. The dress is making her look saggy.

  20. AffluentSingle.CóM

    This woman would look amazing.Life is so lonely .I am a rich and single man at present .I need a woman who can love me back .I also uploaded my hot photos on Affl·uent·Sin·gle.com under the name of jeff1098..It’s the largest and best club for seeking CEOs, pro athletes, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, beauty queens, fitness models, and Hollywood celebrities.Please Check it out!I’m serious.

  21. Bilbo

    The cinched waist look only really works with people who have tiny waists and good posture. She is ADORABLE, but she doesn’t have stays on, and lets not go back to that charmingly pretty albeit sexist and painful tradition.

  22. yeahandalso

    I think it is crazy that she just came out of nowhere and now is in like 20 zillion movies, most of which look good. She was featured in this month’s Details in just a plain white t-shirt and making a serious of expressions and I thought she looked cuter and fresher there than in any of these

  23. NYCGirl

    I love the top of the first dress, but could definitely live without the glittery stripes or the embellishments at the bottom.

  24. Zeina

    Love the Poirot reference! Especially since Chastain herself was in the most recent remake of Murder on the Orient Express :D