Well Played Cover: Katie Holmes


well-played

It sure is convenient that Katie Holmes looks awesome on the cover of Elle in the month that she turned awesome by going all cloak and dagger on Tom Cruise. (The visible bra doesn’t bother me on the cover of a magazine the way it would if she were wearing this, you know, at the market.)  It’s also certainly convenient for Elle that “…on Tom, Suri, and What She Desperately Wants” is a headline that is just as applicable to her situation now as it was six weeks ago. ALSO also, I’d like to thank Elle for their use of the Oxford comma — about which, Vampire Weekend notwithstanding, I do give a f#$*k.  Finally, I don’t know if that’s HER hair, or just hair that happens to be attached to her head for the shot, but either way: I want it.

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Comments (109):

  1. ML
    +1

    S**t’s about to get real up in here, y’all. Katie AIN’T playing.

    • Charlotte
      +1

      Yeah, reading the coded dispatches gives me that idea as well.

      KATIE’S FREE!! HOORAY!!

  2. Neil
    0

    Won’t disagree with any of the commentary……..but this doesn’t even look like her. Katie is so pretty, why did Elle try to make her look like Barbara Feldon?

    • Cranky Old Batt
      0

      I was thinking Valerie Bertinelli, but yes, does not look like Katie to me, either.

      • Cortney
        0

        I thought Valerie Bertinelli too. Seriously, this is RIDIC. She looks nothing like Katie Holmes (though it does lead me to wonder if there’s a lucrative side career managing people who don’t look anything like celebs and therefore can double for them when magazines want an interview.)

        • Aj
          0

          Another vote for “why can’t Katie look like Katie?” — Barbara Feldman was my first thought too.

  3. Maggie
    +1

    Love it! She looks fab and I am so cheered to hear that she’s broken free.

  4. corriner
    0

    I fully support the Oxford comma!

    And while Katie looks great, I’m not so sure those cheekbones haven’t been VERY digitally enhanced…

    • Maureen
      0

      I agree, whoever this is looks fab, but there is a sh*t-ton of photoshop going on with those cheekbones. Didn’t think it looked anything at all like Katie. Oh, and she needs to eat a sandwich. Or two.

      • Scanderoon
        0

        I would argue that those are her cheekbones, just with a crapload of contouring makeup on them. I image searched for some photos of her not smiling in good lighting, and she does have pretty killer cheekbones.

  5. Erika
    0

    I just love that you reference the Oxford Comma.

  6. Sarah
    0

    Oxford comma defenders unite!

  7. Kristen from MA
    +1

    Here’s someone who can pull of the heavy bangs. Jessica Biel, as pretty as she is, just can’t.

    • Sonya
      0

      My thoughts exactly on the bangs.
      I learned to write with the Oxford comma and somewhere in high school or college a teacher broke me of the habit and I was told it was incorrect. I, too, would like to have it back!

    • Cranky Old Batt
      0

      @Gigi, it was wrong in the 80′s. At some point it became optional, but its back to being preferred according to the grammar seminar I took last year and books I have purchased subsequently. There are instances where the meaning of a sentence is wrong without it. That said, no doubt it will be out again at some point in our lifetime.

  8. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    Add me to the Oxford comma supporters!

    • Heather
      0

      Me too! Used to work at a pub. company where we had to remove it. It pained me every time!

      • Emmaleigh504
        0

        Ha! I read this as You used to work in a Pub. I was all confused why a bar wanted you to delete the Oxford comma.

        #TeamOxfordComma #TeamKatie

  9. Eliza Bennett
    0

    I just want her to go back to Kate.

  10. Gine
    0

    I’ve chosen to believe that she planned the whole thing–I mean, EVERYTHING, even Dawson’s Creek–as a massive, long-con super-spy takedown of the CO$, and now she can finally be all, “Aw yeah, look at me now.” I know it’s not true, but would just be such a good story.

    • Alice
      0

      I’m hoping that she’s actually a top spy whose mission has been to take down the CO$.

      Either way, I hope the Oscar Board cast some serious Tom Cruise shade and nominate Katie Holmes for an Oscar just for this spectacular stunt and meticulous planning.

  11. Willow
    0

    Those cheek bones are some of the worst photoshopping in history though, they’ve almost made her face seem shark-like, which I kind of love in a badass movie villain kind of way, but it just doesn’t look like her.

  12. Siobhán
    0

    Great hair, the rest, not so much. They shopped about 2 clothing sizes off of her body.

    +1 for Oxford commas

  13. AM
    0

    I don’t think it’s a good picture, because a good photo brings out the best in someone, not makes them look nothing like themselves!

  14. Hailey
    0

    Why don’t my bangs ever look like this? So shiny.

  15. Pouncer
    0

    Oxford comma 4EVA!!!

  16. CJ
    0

    Her hair looks great. Her photoshopped cheekbones are tragic. She’s so pretty as she is.

    That being said, I think the outfit is cute. It’s very young, fresh, and foxy.

  17. Sandra
    0

    Whoever this woman is, she does indeed look way more badass than Katie has done for the last six years. Of course, Nicole dialed it up when she escaped, so maybe it’s just what happens next.

  18. Jessica
    0

    I’m loving this cover. It’s very “Don’t f*ck with me, B*tches, I will cut you” and I’m loving that this particle cover is what’s circulating during her split with Tom. It’s the very image she needs to portray right now.

  19. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    Bravo Katie!

  20. Lynne
    0

    I actually thinks she looks fab in this shot. There is, admittedly, some photo magic going on but think she looks pretty fierce.

  21. Kris
    0

    Contour much?

  22. TonyG
    0

    Love! The contours of the cheeks and the hair are just a bit of camouflage. It still looks like her to me. It’s all in the eyes.

    Never really thought of her as sexy, even as she is beautiful to look at, but boy is she rocking this photo.

  23. Karen
    0

    Glad I’m not the only one whose first thought was PHOTOSHOP. Beautiful photo, objectively speaking, but real? Doesn’t look like it to me…

  24. Claire L1
    0

    It doesn’t look like Katie! That computer generated creature is very pretty….as is La Holmes but they are not the same creatures.
    How frustrating it must be to be such a beautiful woman and then have someone change you to the point of not even being recognizable. I mean…cleaning up a zit, some smeared lip liner… OK…but this?
    Blah!
    Hence the reason when I go through my fashion rags I’m telling my preteen daughter “Those women aren’t real, they’re mostly computer….the women are pretty…but they wanted a look that’s more like a cartoon…it’s art, not real pictures”

  25. christine christine
    0

    What the crap is an Oxford comma, and what does it have to do with Vampire Weekend? What IS Vampire Weekend? I’m floundering here.

    I love the vibe Katie has here, but she’s so slender, I’m wondering why they slenderified her even more.

    • Heather
      0

      Google is your friend.

    • Jessica
      0

      Vampire Weekend is a band that has a song in which they say they don’t give a fuck about the Oxford Comma. The Oxford Comma is the serial comma — the rule that says you put a comma before the “and” in a list of multiple items.

      OXFORD COMMA: “I invited Kate, Wills, and Harry to the party.”

      NO OXFORD COMMA: “I invited Kate, Wills and Harry to the party.”

  26. lakin1013
    0

    Classic argument for the Oxford comma:
    I would like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

    • christine christine
      0

      That was awesome. I feel so educated now. I learned something! On a Friday! While doing something other than my job even though they’re paying me! Back to work.

    • Heather
      0

      Yes, awesome. When I worked at said pub. company (see above) I was always looking for words to explain WHY we should keep the serial commas. This is an EXCELLENT example.

      Pub. company was horribly cheap and I believe they think it somehow saved them $$ to refrain from the serial commas.

      • Sarah
        0

        Isn’t that why, in journalism, they’re rarely used? Because, when setting type (actually setting each letter like in olden times), skipping the Oxford comma meant one less character to bang into place? But that’s an outdated convention, if so.

        • C-No
          0

          Journalist here. That is the reason why Oxford commas were dropped in print. Journalists (or at least the Associate Press) are very slow to change, though, so I wouldn’t count on it coming back. I often delete them in the articles that come to me, but I will leave them in if it screws with the meaning of the sentence, as the Ayn Rand/God example illustrates. In Jessica’s example, it doesn’t matter. So it comes out.

    • Hima
      0

      Ooh, that’s a good one. Here’s the example I saw that made me reinstate my oxford comma usage: http://i.imgur.com/5LdZT.jpg

    • Mukel
      0

      Ha ha ha ha ha! Lolz.

  27. Lisa F
    0

    I agree that this doesnt look like Katie at ALL. I wouldn’t have known it was her if I had just walked past this on a magazine rack. Katie is gorgeous…why the heck would they want to make her unrecognizeable?!

  28. Fat Desdemona
    0

    I’m going to be the first dissenting opinion on the Oxford comma. I am a bit of a comma-phobe and think that they are used too frequently. I do not ever use it and I feel lighter because of it.

    Also, this is an interesting picture of someone, perhaps just not Katie Holmes.

    • Claire L1
      0

      Oh, I would drive you crazy. I use commas like they’re confetti. I love them. The Oxford comma has given me a lot of “I have nothing of value to add to the topic so I’m going to call you out on your use of the comma” comments via the web. LOL!
      And don’t even get me started on its and it’s.I KNOW the difference, but my fingers just love love love those darn punctuation keys.

    • VanDee
      0

      The Oxford comma is unnecessary in most instances. Why use them if they aren’t necessary? They’re just cluttering up your sentence! Just say NO.
      PS I think Katie looks awesome and like Katie.

  29. Maisie
    0

    I’m completely tickled (and impressed) that NO ONE SAW THIS COMING! (Obviously the split with TC, not her bangs). Who knew girlfriend had that kind of subterfuge in her?! She’s increasingly given the impression of being a sad puppet, not a spirited human being with a backbone willing to stand up for herself. (Though I’ve also long been amused that no one joined TC on the Kate-versus-Katie bandwagon–especially the woman in question.) Katie, as a show of solidarity with you, I would like to go out and purchase a Holmes & Yang garment of some sort. Sadly, on my income, unless you can point me to a store that’s DEEPLY discounting or into clearance bins, that will not be possible. Although . . . does Holmes & Yang perhaps make a line of socks??

  30. Deborah
    0

    Wow, really…a well played? I would never have guessed. While I am seriously rooting for Katie and Suri, this cover made me immediately wonder wtf happened to Katie Holmes. They have emaciated her.

    • Deborah
      0

      I also have comment at how ironic the other titles are, given the circumstances now: The One Thing Every Happy Couple Does, and Bullied? How To Get Over It At Any Age. Girlfriend could give lessons. Go Katie!

  31. Shiitake
    0

    The less Katie looks like herself the better.

  32. Helen
    0

    Gorgeous, whoever she may be.

    I think that’s got to be a Follea wig. They’re the best I’ve seen. Which also means, if I am right, that you can have this hair!

    But it could also be photo-editing. In that case, only this picture can have it.

    • Kara
      0

      Oh, for sure that’s a wig. Her hair isn’t that long and her bangs aren’t that heavy. It’s a gorgeous wig with a four-digit price tag, I’m sure, but it’s a wig.

      I’m on the “her cheekbones are so Photoshopped they look like they could cut a bitch” train.

  33. Helen
    0

    Oh, and I am yet another fan of the Oxford comma.

  34. filmcricket
    0

    I am going to vote against most of the commentariat here and say I love the cheekbones and hate the “hair.” I do think they’ve magically thinned her face, but she has always had cheekbones that could cut glass; they’re one of her best features. That hair – or wig, whatever – conversely, looks like it’s going to eat her face.

    Having gone to J-school I had the Oxford comma beaten pretty much out of me (every pica is vital, dont’cha know!) but I’m trying to re-introduce it in my writing now.

  35. sarah
    0

    yay for oxford commas! Yay for bringing down scientology. Kick ass, Katie, kick ass.

  36. Karen
    0

    Currently struggling to keep straight the differences between Chicago and AP styles, couldn’t remember which was which re serial comma until my journalist father pointed out that AP/journalism is all about saving space. Get it now, but my use of it or lack thereof has always been random. I hate having to commit to one or the other!

  37. Jo
    0

    Agreed- those cheekbones are ridonc!

  38. McLisa
    0

    Yes! Oxford comma! Serious yes to Katie’s “bring it” stance in this photo.

  39. Bella
    0

    She should have a whip in her hand. Sock it to ‘em, Sweetie.

  40. Kate
    0

    She looks great, but she doesn’t look much like Katie Holmes.

  41. Sarah
    0

    She looks fierce, for sure, but why are there suspenders involved here??

  42. Libby
    0

    So, what cracks me up, is this, to me, looks very like Katie, circa years 3-5 of Dawson’s Creek. Between lighting, and the fall of the hair, I’m willing to believe they didn’t do much, if anything, to the contours of her face to get that look. That’s Joey’s “Dawson, you know we’re meant to be together, and now that we’ve started, it’s just going to be SO AMAZING” face if I ever saw it.

    I mean.

    At least that’s the way I remember it from the early-ish years of the show… Maybe. =-D

  43. Amanda
    0

    If you click on the related stories (where there are three older Elle covers with her on it) two of the three start with…”On Tom, Suri, and xyz.” Cut and paste much Elle?

  44. Sarah
    0

    Here’s what’s up: I’m a grammar savant. My mom was an English teacher, and it rubbed on me. As did reading one billion books before age ten. I got a perfect score on the verbal portion of the SAT. When I say savant, I’m referring to the fact that I can’t tell you WHY it goes there, or is punctuated like that, I just KNOW. Always. But what I didn’t know was this mystery thing called an “Oxford comma,” until today, that is. And what I find is that not only do I support it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, and the thought of NOT using it is crazy! It’s the right use! You can’t not! So there! Yeah! Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for teaching me the name for the Right Way To Use Serial Commas.

    Also, Katie is not as pretty in real life as that magazine cover. No offense, but I always find her looks pedestrian. As are mine! If I was ever forced to be on the cover of Elle (no doubt through some kind of meteoric rise to fame as a result of one of my many astounding talents being discovered by a rogue talent scout that happened to stop by my work or home, since I never get out these days) I would certainly hope they could make me look as good. Bravo, Elle!

  45. annie
    0

    I love it all, especially the “yeah, I pulled it off bitches” look of the cover.

    And, in law school, they pushed the Oxford comma pretty hard for clarity.

  46. renee [crossed and d
    0

    i love the assessment, and the overall enthusiasm for vampire weekend and the oxford comma. however, is anyone else bothered by the article teaser and the use of the word “on”? katie is unleashing her new sexy side ON tom, suri, etc.? i get where they were going, but did anyone proofread that?

  47. Kelly
    0

    I don’t know if those are HER arms, or just arms that happen to be photoshopped to her body for the shot, but either way: I want them.

    • Mahastee
      0

      I can easily believe that they are her arms, given that she is often seen carrying her child.

  48. vandalfan
    0

    I am astonished and so pleased with everyone here who supports the Oxford Comma. I am not alone in the wold!

    • Bagbo
      0

      Agreed–the Oxford Comma fandom is so unexpected and delightful. If anyone here is enterprising enough to come up with any sort of Team Oxford Comma gear (or, for that matter, Team Oxfug Comma gear), I wannit.

  49. Fran
    0

    Forget about the Oxford comma, the real story is that THIS IS A PICTURE OF KATIE HOLMES WHERE HER MOUTH IS NOT UP ON ONE SIDE IN THAT RIDICULOUS SMIRK! Stop the presses! This is an historical moment!

  50. nuna
    0

    funny, i was sure you were going to fug this cover. she looks emaciated and depressed.

  51. Popcouver
    0

    CHEERS TO THE OXFORD COMMA!

  52. jean
    0

    It doesn’t look much like her, but I think that’s good. It’s refreshing, especially when you look at her typical “sweet” poses on the covers below from her previous “Fug the Cover”. And no half-smile! Yippie.

  53. Lori
    0

    I love the Oxford comma, only I call it the Harvard comma (either is an acceptable nickname). Sort of meh on this cover (not a fan of the heavy bangs), but Team Katie all the way!

    • Anne
      0

      Lori–I also call it the Harvard Comma because Christina Thompson, Editor of the Harvard Review, calls it that. Both comma nicknames work are acceptable, I agree. I love that damn comma.

  54. The Fugger
    0

    That, in fact, is not Katie Holmes’s hair.

    It’s Tyra Banks’s. From four years ago. (Incidentally, in that photo she was cramming a Twinkie into her mouth, which makes it all the better.)

  55. Jacquilynne
    0

    While an Oxford comma is all very well and good, that headline indicates that she has unleashed her sexy side on Suri. Which is, uh, yeah, not so good.

  56. Erica
    0

    I don’t really care one way or another about TomKat, but I have to give Katie a handclap for the timing of this cover. Well played!

  57. Moi
    0

    Long live the Oxford comma! But not the heavy bang. Girlfriend looks seriously weighted down and slightly depressed. Not sexy at all.

  58. Sajorina
    0

    LOVE THE COVER!!! Katie looks Ah-f*cking-MAZING! Sexy, confident, beautiful, self-assured & HOT as hell… I love the outfit, the simple styling and the pose! And, OMG, her hair!!! WANT! I’m so damn proud of her & happy for her… FAB & WELL PLAYED, Miss Holmes!

  59. Clementine
    0

    Love the cover. She looks confident, strong, and sexy.

    Love, also, the Oxford comma as I see my fellow fuggers do as well. We are not alone and we have t-shirts: http://shop.cafepress.com/oxford-comma

  60. rb
    0

    The hair is SO Pantene.

    Sad that there has not been a Fug Girls “Katie Holmes Style Evolution” on NY Mag (instead, here’s one at http://www.graziadaily.co.uk/fashion/archive/2012/07/04/katie-holmes-is-starting-her-post-divorce-fash-over.htm). Personally, I don’t think she started looking great until AFTER her marriage, with the Anna Wintour bob and her sudden showing off of gams. Now, she’s looking very Victoria Beckham without the pout and alleged wit.

    I wish her well … until she mysteriously disappears like David Miscavige’s wife.

  61. Mahastee
    0

    You’re never fully dressed without an Oxford comma.

  62. Nancy
    0

    I think that her cheeks look weird and fake. Between that and the excessive hair, I don’t like this. My two cents.

    • Ms. A.
      0

      Agreed. And those are not her teetaas either. Photoshop usage needs to be toned down a lot. It’s getting ridiculous.

  63. val.
    0

    The nice thing about being an English teacher is that you can tell the kids that while the comma is technically optional, you would still personally prefer it to be used in your class. Voila! They don’t dare turn in a paper without it.

  64. missy
    0

    whoever Photoshopped her left arm should be fired. it is completely out of proportion to the rest of her body. oops.

  65. Shelby
    0

    Lose the gross bangs that hide her face.

  66. ML
    0

    Ix-nay for me on the Oxford Comma. There are enough comma splices in our lives already and I’m not for anything that potentially encourages any more of them. JMHO.

    I work in publishing, however, so there’s that. And the description above re: dropping it to save space in typesetting is correct. Trust me — with the ever-shrinking space given stories these days, don’t expect to see US papers bring the Oxford Comma back.

    Also agreed re: Photoshopping. It’s one thing to add special enhancements to a picture for clear and intended effect — like, if you put a fake cartoon rainbow and jumping unicorns behind Katie and say “HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY” or whatever. It’s something else entirely to distort the reality of a photo and then pass it off as “as-is.” That’s really unethical and no photo editor (or managing editor) with conscience would permit it.

  67. Bottle Ginger
    0

    Hate the cover, but love this link.

    Magazine cover drones aren’t the only people photoshopping Katie!

    http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/1250/thetans.jpg

  68. Aria
    0

    I find it hilarious that the comma probably got more comments than Katie, but add mine too it! I always use it (though didn’t know the name “Oxford comma). Also, for anyone who wants more information on why it is necessary (or various other rules of grammar), read “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss.

  69. johnnycakes
    0

    That is Katie Holmes? Color me surprised. If I had not read it here I wouldn’t know who the he!! that is supposed to be. LOL
    The “hair” is def a wig. The cheekbones? I don’t know what is going on there?
    Never heard of the Oxford comma. But who am I to diss a comma?

  70. na
    0

    This was another picture they were thinking of going with, pictured here:

    http://www.fashionising.com/pictures/b–katie-holmes-elle-magazine-divorce-26497.html

    Why on earth didn’t they go with the first one? She looks amazingly elegant and strong at the same time.

  71. Alicey
    0
  72. Cat
    0

    They photoshopped the hell outta her cheekbones, but she looks pretty darn great.

  73. imstarving
    0

    wig