Well Played, Chloe Grace Moretz


well-played

So, I will be the first to admit I thought the previews for Hugo looked terribly dull — but then I went to see it, and it’s LOVELY (and, something that would be difficult to boil down in a preview, so now I understand why the first trailer made it look wrongly like a Sacha Baron Cohen-driven caper film). Stunning to look at, for one thing, which compensates when it gets a bit slow; even the aforementioned Mr. Baron Cohen is tolerable in it, which for me is nigh on remarkable; and that Asa Butterfield will shatter your heart into a million pieces and then put it back together again and then break it once more just for emphasis. I both never want him to grow up, and am DESPERATE for him to hurry up and do it so that the sight of his little face doesn’t make me want to weep and offer to adopt him.

Chloe Moretz is also delightful in it, and color me surprised, but I find her equally adorable in this outfit:

Usually, I might question leather capri pants and a giant knit poncho-cape. They are not a natural or obvious combination, unless I suppose you are trying to make an Amelia Earhart-inspired line of winter wear (those pants DO have a badass-aviatrix aura). If this were Katherine Heigl I’d probably be laughing and wondering if she’s making the geriatric lady equivalent to Old Hogs or whatever the hell that movie was. But on Chloe… I don’t know, I’m completely won over by this. What is up with all these fourteen-year olds wearing bold things with authority? First Steinfeld, and now Moretz. They’re spoiling us for regular 14-year olds. And they’re making 14-year old me wish I had done a little more than just cut-off Gap jeanshorts and my sisters’ old college t-shirts and white Keds. Sad, sad 14-year old me. Rad, rad 14-year old Chloe.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (50):

  1. Mair Mair
    0

    Hugo: charming. Sasha Baron-Cohen in Hugo: really quite good (high praise from someone who despised Borat with every fiber of her being). Chloe Moretz in Hugo: adorable. This outfit on a grown-up: maybe. This outfit on adorable 14 y.o. Chloe: NYET.

  2. Sandra
    0

    Uh, Heather? What was in your Kool-Aid this morning? The kid is adorable, but she’s wearing a couch and its afghan.

  3. Kato
    0

    MIght have been able to get on board if the pants weren’t so high-waisted and awkward fitting around the waist. It looks like it is throwing the proportions off, and is it just me, or is it giving her a weird blocky-poochy thing?

    • Alix
      0

      Blocky-poochy indeed. And the pants look like pleather. That’s a stunning vintage afghan she’s wearing, though. From the cut and the color, I’m guessing 1974 or thereabouts.

  4. jjdaddyo
    0

    Hmmm… I’m not sure when the leather pants embargo ends for kids, but I’m pretty sure 14 is on the wrong side of it.

  5. gladly
    0

    Between Chloe, Dakota Fanning, and Hailee Steinfeld, there are some very talented young actresses in the world. Good for them and us. I feel like Chloe’s going wrong here with the pants. Fit? Proportion? I can’t tell, but the pants seem like the source of the problem.

  6. Sophia
    0

    The less said about her accent in that movie the better.

    • Miranda
      0

      Really? I’m not British, but I thought it was significantly better than most actors’ attempts. Not saying it was spot-on, just above average. *Hides behind British friends and vacations*

      • GFY Heather
        0

        It was a pretty terrible one — there were some lines she overenunciated — but I gave her a pass because she was otherwise so good.

  7. Dazie
    0

    I like the cape. If anybody could get away with a big cape, it should be a 14 yr old.

    Leather pants? Um. NO. Weird cut out high heeled grey shoe things? NO.

    Look- I have a 14 yr old daughter who wants to wear random stuff all thrown together, so I understand the urge to splurge so to speak. But really. FOURTEEN. Not 44.

    Makes me want to give her some jeans.

  8. Laura
    0

    You have lost your everloving mind on this one. She looks ridiculous. Poorly fitting pleather mom pants, snow boots and her grandma’s afghan fashioned as a cape? No no no no.

  9. Sonya
    0

    I saw that movie this weekend, I have to admit I had a hard time staying awake the first hour but the story took hold and finally got going and it was lovely. My only complaint is that it needed more Jude Law. As much as I was annoyed by this girl before Hugo, I now think she is very cute and was excellent in that movie. I like her shoes but I cannot get on board with anything else in this outfit.

  10. Nancy
    0

    She’s awesome but she looks like a sofa.

  11. Katharine
    0

    I like the cape and would love to own one myself, I like the dourly bold combination of rich neutrals here, but those pants are not a terribly flattering specimen of the leather genre. They don’t fit right to start with, and the pocket and waistband detailing is both ugly, and strangely wrong on her. Good concept, needs different, better trousers.

  12. Ines
    0

    i do like the pants and the color of the cape, but not his cut, no, really. and these shoes are ugly.

  13. witjunkie
    0

    Hm. I like this. I like brown a lot, and I think the cape manages to add drama without making her look like 200 lbs. That’s hard to do. The shoes detract from it a bit though. I would probably like it on me instead of a middle-schooler, but the outfit itself is cool.

  14. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    Love what you wrote.

    Love the kid’s smile.

    The poncho and 40′s leathers, other than the pallet which rocks for not being typical, not feeling the love.

  15. Miranda
    0

    I like this too! Also, it reminds me of when she was a superhero in Kick-Ass, which I LOVED. The colors are fabulous.

    • lindsay
      0

      thank you for mentioning kick-ass. saved me a trip to IMDB to figure out why the heck i know her.

  16. amys
    0

    She’s an adorable young lady. Detest the gray peekaboo schbooties with chocolate leather. This brown really isn’t doing her a lot of favors. The pants are making a face in her pelvic region so not a good look.

  17. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    Love it! But then, I like ponchos of all sorts. I would like to get a better view of her shoe choice…

  18. LovleAnjel
    0

    Those pants fit her all wrong. They’ve got a mom-jeans look.

  19. Maria L.
    0

    Sorry but those leather pants and peekaboo shoes are not something a 14 year old should be wearing. (In fact, I think it would look major fugly on a more appropriate older female person.)

    Sounds like you dressed just about right for a 14-year-old. And I’ll take the regular 14 year olds any day over the kids like Chloe who are being sold hard by whomever is making a buck off of them.

  20. SaraK
    0

    Oh, Heather, no. Just no. She is adorable, absolutely, but in this outfit she looks like she’s guest-starring on Firefly as a teeny-bopper in love with Captain Mal. And that show was canceled when she was five and Nathan Fillion is WAY too old for her.

    p.s. amys, I love “schbooties,” my new favorite word. Thanks!

  21. Eli
    0

    I just checked the date and it’s not april fools’ day so I really don’t get why you would give this a well played. My opinion: The pants are awful and the cape is ridiculous. At least her shoes are okay. If only she could find an entirely different outfit to match them with..

  22. llism
    0

    Hmm. Not sure when polterwangs started earning a Well Played.

  23. Edith
    0

    Well, then, I’m crazy too, because I think she looks kind of awesome. Is it perfect? No. But the color is crazy-good, and she wears it with such aplomb I can’t fault her. Also, LOOK HOW LOVELY IT IS TO SEE A 14 YEAR OLD WHO ISN’T MADE UP TO LOOK 25!!!! I think some makeup at 14 is fine – and she’s probably wearing a smidge – but she still looks fresh and natural and freaking adorable, instead of looking sultry, hott, and world weary. So yay!

    • neiges
      0

      Okay, she is not wearing make-up, but the rest just screams have-been-drinking-legally-for-many-years. I like everything, perhaps not really the shoes, but I can’t brush off that feeling of compassion for someone oblivious to how matronly she looks. And I am thinking of that person “making a buck off of” her, as Maria L. put it…

  24. TonyG
    0

    I actually love the pants, but the boots with cutouts to show her foot are just ewwww. The cape wrap doesn’t bother me as much though it is certainly fugly, but those boots!

  25. karen
    0

    I realize these children are public figures, but am I the only one that feels weird commenting on a MINOR’S outfit? It just feels wrong…there have got to be plenty of 18+ you can fug instead!

    • Alix
      0

      Well, no one’s bashing Chloe, just her clothes. IMO, if you’re old enough to make an appearance on the red carpet, you’re old enough to have your outfit dissected in the media.

    • cpro
      0

      I’m with you, karen–it feels weird to critique a kid’s clothes, and I’m not really sure what the point of it is. If a kid doesn’t deserve the blame for bad clothes (and they don’t, because they’re kids), then how do they deserve the credit for good clothes?

  26. wordphreak
    0

    14-year-old you probably didn’t have access to her budget, or to her freebies. By the way, what’s going on with the crotch fit on those pants? Ooogie.

  27. Jules
    0

    At least she’s getting it out of her system now…
    It’s a lot worse to see grown women dress like this.

    • xandar
      0

      Don’t think you have to worry about her wearing it again. It’s obviously only intended for the Hilfiger store launch she was attending.

  28. phoebe
    0

    I love the pants, actually. I think there’s a very vintage, equestrian feel to this outfit. I don’t know if the poncho works in real life though.

  29. ELINA
    0

    POLTERWANG

  30. Erin
    0

    Am I the only one excited by the fact that there is a child in existence with the name Asa Butterfield? What a glorious name!

  31. Eva
    0

    I’m ok with the poncho but I dislike everything else. The pants don’t fit right, they clash with the shoes and everything together is just a hot mess. Not a well played for me, even though the kid looks nice enough and has a cute face.

  32. vandalfan
    0

    Aww, with the exception of the shoes, she’s just fine for a kid.

  33. anny
    0

    No, no, NO she doesn’t look like a sofa!!! She looks like an overstuffed armchair. Everybody knows those get all weird and wrinkly where you sit in them.

    “Asa Butterfield” is totally a soap opera name.

  34. Lizzie
    0

    The poncho I can deal with – she’s fourteen – ditto the ill-fitting pants, but those shoes need to be put in a barrel of petrol and set alight, as soon as humanly possible.

  35. LadyGwenTabithaChurc
    0

    She is my hero. She can do no wrong. No. Wrong.

  36. NYCGirl
    0

    Sorry, Heather. There is not an aspect of this outfit that I don’t find fug.

  37. Emma
    0

    This is a dreadful outfit! Did I read the article wrong? It’s a horse blanket and a pair of skinny leather pants! That give her a bulging pelvis! And the colors are drab and the shoes are weird! And a narrow strip of her shirt is showing – it should be more or none! EW!

  38. Charlotte
    0

    Polterwang.

  39. Jacq
    0

    Jesus Christ on a cracker, that’s an awful, AWFUL outfit.