Well Played, Beyonce


This photo is a bit old — I believe Jay-Z and Beyonce were popping out to do some Christmas shopping, for reference — but I couldn’t resist sharing it, especially since I suspect nearly all of us were off napping when it happened and ergo not monitoring our Beyonce Google Alerts with as much clarity as usual.

And also because, SERIOUSLY. In a week where most of our material is people snapped going from one place to another (don’t worry, the red carpets will be back with a vengeance as of next week, thanks to the People’s Choice, and the Critic’s Choice and then the Globes on the 13th), has anyone looked cuter going from one place to the other than Beyonce here? The answer is no. No more cuter.

ALSO: Can we just talk about how eye-rolly she and Jay-Z must be over Kim and Kanye? I mean, they didn’t confirm their actual marriage for ages, and they did not sell wedding pictures or photos of Blue Ivy to People, or anyone else. This seriously is like the celebrity version of when your boyfriend’s best friend (who you like in general, but occasionally find overly histrionic and too prone to caps-lock in his Facebook status updates) starts dating a girl he’s been in love with for ages, whom you personally know to be a total crackpot. Where you are kinda happy for him, because he’s really into her, and you also want to kill yourself because now your entire social life has become CRACKPOT CENTRAL because all they do is encourage one another’s crackpottery..  And all you can do is turn to your own spouse and sort of sigh and roll your eyes and then talk shit about her when you get home from the Grammys.

[Photo: Splash]


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Comments (38):

  1. Stefanie

    Im dying right now because that exact same thing is happening in our social circle right now. The girl batshit and he’s ready to marry her already. My husband and I are just watching it all go down in awe.

    Anywhooo, B looks great. As she should because she’s f’in Beyonce.

    • Stefanie

      *is batshit


      • Anne B

        After checking with my sources, I’ve learned that saying either “The girl batshit” or “The girl is batshit” is correct, when one is describing a Kardashian.


  2. TaraMisu

    B looks FAB!

    We’re all rolling our eyes over the whole Kimye crap. Ugh.

  3. Anne B

    Much as I hate to argue with either of my Fug Girls, “the cutest” in that photo is clearly Jay.

    Look at him, with the jacket and the old-school sweatshirt/camo combo. And the pop of color with the shoes! To die!

    The rest of you umptillionaires (looking at you, Bill Gates) take note: this is how a man with money dresses. THIS.

    • Sandra

      A man with money, yeah. But a man with style dresses like David Beckham in that adorbs picture with Harper that was in the “Best of 2012″ retrospective piece here the other week.

    • Ladyblahblah

      Thank you, Anne B. The image of Bill Gates rolling up to a meeting with world leaders to talk about his plan for disease eradication in Africa wearing a team t-shirt, camos and untied red kicks has made my day!

    • Jessica

      He is also looking great, I concur.

    • kickassmomnyc

      Would you really want to see Bill Gates in an outfit like that? Sure, he could do better, but I would laugh out loud if he affected anything like this.

    • Kit

      Welll…. I love JayZ’s outfit – it’s how my son’s dress; but a man with money? Not necessarily!

  4. cathy

    awesome! they look great!
    and i don’t really like beyonce, but i always admire how ladylike she is when it comes to keeping her private life private and that’s why b and jay will continue to have a good marriage and that blue ivy will grow up into a well adjusted kid

  5. Trace

    Oddly enough your fictional scenario has totally happened to me and I’ve had to restrain myself from saying “Why has he changed his Facebook status to ‘in a relationship’? She’s probably already cheated on him by now!!”

  6. Chelsea

    I seriously wish Beyonce would host a “win this outfit off my back” contest. I NEED IT.

  7. Aphy

    She looks so cute. But I have a stupid question: when people write Bey is it pronounced Bee or Bay? In my head it’s Bay, but that doesn’t seem right.

    • Abby

      I have no idea. But I want to know too! In my head it’s also Bay, but since it’s not pronounced Bay-once…hmm. But then, Bee doesn’t rhyme with Jay. WHY ARE CELEBRITY NICKNAMES SO HARD? Sigh.

      • Aphy

        Exactly. The pronunciation of Bee doesn’t rhyme, so in my head its Bay and Jay, but the Bey in Beyonce is pronounced Bee. Oh who knows. It’s just a thing I’ve been curious about.

    • lmoon

      I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced ‘Bee’-her fanbase is even referred to as ‘Beyhive’.

      …I don’t know why I know that about what her fanbase is called. Carry on.

  8. Rachel

    So funny – your commentary was spon on. Oh, Kimye (eye roll).

  9. Rachel


  10. AOkay

    Alright, I agree that B’s outfit is great (and though I am not a fan of those clunky looking mary janes, they are not a deal breaker for me). But, what is the deal with that bun she’s been sporting for the past few months?? Why is she trying to make her head look like a figure 8? I have this urge to just run up to her and cut it off with a samurai sword or giant scissors. I know it’s extreme, but that is how much I hate the look.

    • Elizabeth in SF

      Interesting. I now have a desperate need to write a fanfic with a character named “Mary Jane Clunkery”. She’s sweet, if a little awkward, but fortunately people like her anyway.

      • Edith

        “Mary Jane Clunkery” is about as Mary Sue as a Mary Sue can be, then. And of course the studly hero of the fandom will find her irresistable, quirks and all.

    • Tiffany

      High buns are cute (makes me think Breakfast at Tiffanys).

  11. mary lou bethune

    I didn’t understand anything anyone said above… I musta misst sumup.
    Beyonce looks lovely and is always smiling at her fans/photogs which is the appropriate thing to do, you other celebs or semi celebs or non entities out there.
    I just love Bee and J. They have manners.

  12. Tiffany

    I think the outfit is really cute! As someone said above, I also REALLY love Jay’s shoes. Super cute!

  13. Shelby

    No, no, no. The outfit is butt-ugly. Beyonce’s face looks good, but that is about it.

    • Emme

      Seriously! I have to agree. Maybe a wee bit of partialism going on, just because they seem to be such decent people? Just gotta say I think that if it was anyone else dressed so badly and this means the pair of them, they would NOT get a pass from this group.

  14. The Fugger

    Hov looks…I’m half and half on it.

    On one hand, I could probably rock that. And hell, I have a pair of neon kicks I wear a lot (Osiris, though, not Nike).

    On the other hand, I’m 15 years his junior, and I’m fast approaching the point where I’d look ridiculous in that outfit, and even those sneakers (although I will say he looks a lot younger than his age here).

    Bey looks pretty good – I’m not all gushy on it, but haters probably do need to get (in the words of a wise woman) to the left, to the left. Yes, the patterns on the blouse and skirt are a bit mismatched, but the clash actually works here, I think. The jacket is cute. Yes, even the shoes are cute. And while I normally dislike leggings, it’s winter in New York – they’re actually appropriate here (and leave it to Bouncy to look good regardless of what I think).

  15. TonyG

    Love everything but the shoes on Beyonce. They just make an odd shape out of her feet. Not quite hooves, but they turn her feet into rounded blocks.

  16. Elizabeth Gorman

    I like the shoes on both of the Knowles-Carters. His are bright and wake up his outfit and hers look comfortable. I’m not a fan of heels. As for the whole Kanye and Kim thing? *shrug* As long as they’re happy.

  17. MKKS

    Jay: If he’s happy, I guess I’m happy.
    Bey: … but seriously, you’re not the one she follows into the bathroom when we’re out to dinner with them. Babe, seriously. Last time she tried to come into the stall with me.
    Jay: I know. I’m sorry about that. But you know him; he’s not happy unless there’s some drama.
    Bey: She told me they’re going to name their child Yellow.
    Jay: Huh.
    Bey: Yellow Apple.
    Jay: No, really?
    Bey: GOOP and I are not impressed.

    • Raimesela

      ROTFL, I can sooooo see that happening with Ryan Seacrest & Kris with the camera crew trying to all squeeze in the bathroom

  18. Faye

    I think Beyonce’s outfit is really cute, although those shoes are not exactly doing great things for her legs.

    Also, don’t take this as a defense of Kim and Kanye, but Beyonce and J don’t exactly get the shy and retiring and privacy award. Didn’t Beyonce announce her baby news at an awards show (AMAs or Grammys, can’t remember)?

  19. Hima

    I like everything that Beyonce is wearing, but I really can’t stand the hair. I am NOT a fan of the top-knot bun thing. Why does it have to be so high? A little lower and it could be cute, I think.

    As for Kimye – as soon as they announced the pregnancy, I immediately thought they were trying to be Jay-Z and Beyonce. Nothing about their relationship seems real to me.

  20. anonymoose

    It’s nice that B looks happy and friendly. And it is a relief that she is modestly dressed.

    However, the piping border on her shoes breaks the continuity of the leg line and makes her legs look chunkier, I’d swap the pattern placement of her skirt and top by putting the large print on top and the small pattern on her bottom half to balance her pear shape, add an inch and a half to the skirt length and flare it a bit for fluidity and movement, and I would never leave the house wearing those stupid bugeye round goggles again. Foremost, a chignon should be positioned at the back of the head opposite the chin or at the nape; THIS looks like a ball of silk yarn plopped from the sky onto her head and got stuck there. Her shoulder bag is too big and doesn’t go with the outfit.

    J looks like he stepped in radioactive waste.

    I guess for them this is well-played?

  21. Tana

    That’s funny because between Kim and Kanye, it’s Kanye who’d I’d claim was batshit. But then I’ve never watched any Kardashian TV so maybe I’m missing something because although she seems a bit flighty and superficial she’s much less annoying than most of her reality TV and socialite peers.