Amber Heard has been looking really pretty lately:
I don’t think I would have worn those shoes with that dress — a metallic is your friend, Amber — but you KNOW I love sequins. This is what I would wear at my quickie Vegas wedding (officiated by Elvis, of course. Our wedding dinner will therefore need to be grilled peanut butter and bacon sandwichs and my ring shall be a diamond lightning bolt! The groom will wear a jumpsuit! The recessional will be the live version of “Suspicious Minds” in which Elvis starts laughing toward the end because the version is SO LONG, which is a family joke because my Dad and I got in the car one day to go to Vroman’s, our local bookstore, and that song started when we got in the car and DIDN’T END THE WHOLE DRIVE. It was like we had fallen down an Elvis wormhole and my Dad and Elvis and I were ALL wondering WHEN IT WOULD END. ANYWAY. Now I’ve totally talked myself into that wedding. It’s going to be awesome! You’re all invited!).
Or, at the very least, to my post-divorce I’M SINGLE party, because, HELLO, does this say, “come over and see me sometime,” or what?
