Unfug It Up Toni Collette


I DO like her earrings:

And I get that there is something APPEALING about this. I like it in the way I like certain things in the J Crew catalog, where I know that I could never and will never wear them but the exotic location J Crew has shipped everyone off to makes me think things like, “maybe if I went to Greece, I would wear that linen pop-over atop my bikini!” or whatever you think when you’re looking through your J Crew catalog.  Here, I’m like, “maybe if she were a really eccentric woman who serves a lot of things out of tagines by her pool at her summer place and pours all her cocktails into incredibly thick glass tumblers and doesn’t believe in sunscreen in a way that’s going to end poorly for her decolletage eventually.” Which means, I guess, that I’m not actually changing the OUTFIT, I’m just putting it on a completely other human being as a way to salvage it.

[Photo: Splash]

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Comments (38):

  1.  ShannonTX

    I hate the shoes and the bag with this dress. The outfit itself is OK, but I do think that skirt is an awkward length.

    • Marcia

      I agree, ditch the bag and the shoes (which I like just not with this outfit). The skirt length requires a snazzy flat sandal. Otherwise, I like it. And I can easily imagine Toni Collette in just the scenario described – she seems a bit eccentric, even if only by virtue of the characters she plays.

      • halley

        Agreed. I like the bag and shoes, but they are too formal for the dress. Ditch those, and get some more casual shoes (wedges? sandals?) and I think we can work with it. I like the dress itself, its just super casual for the accessories.

  2.  KarenG958

    I had no idea who that was until I read her name. And yes, it would be good for serving food out of your tangine on your lanai, but not here.

    •  ElizabethT

      Or drinking a michelada in San Miguel de Allende. She’s dressed like a VRBO landlady we had there once: an American of a certain age whose house was filled with lots of mediocre art, LOTS of cobwebs on the art, and a distinct smell of cat.

  3.  Alyssa

    Shorten the skirt, change the shoes (I don’t know to what, just change them), swap out the clutch for something smaller and bright, stand in a less awkward pose. Please.

    • Bottle Ginger

      I suspect that skirt length looks great in person, but when photographed from that angle it sends her on the express flight to Stumpytown.

      That’s probably why she wore the extreme shoes, the ones that are too high for a summer sundress.

  4. anno

    Shoes and bag must go. I think the skirt length is fine – the photographer’s downward angle is making it appear awkward

  5.  Portia

    I think it’s the way the shoes’ ankle straps are right under the skirt — it’s totally stumpifying, even on a tall woman. And what an odd bag — that over-the-hand strap looks sort of orthopedic, somehow.

  6. julyol1972

    I think if she’d worn the more streamlined black skirt with the top, she would’ve achieved a more grown-up silhouette. As it stands, this seems a little too young for her with the current version of skirt, and too informal for a premier. If Haile or Elle had decided to wear this, with a shorter length, I wouldn’t have a problem.

    •  jeanette

      Yes I was thinking a black pencil skirt, or maybe black shot through with gold. Her outfit needs something fitted to her body to balance the proportions.

  7.  Looly

    She looks fabulous from the waist up.

  8. lesli

    I like it!

  9. eandh

    black cigarette pants, or a solid bright pencil skirt would help this outfit a lot

  10. val.

    It looks like the dress Michael Douglas bought Kathleen Turner in that quaint little Colombian village in Romancing the Stone. I like it but it does feel like it belongs Ina more exotic location than wherever she is.

  11. Bella

    I like espadrilles with a dress like this. Cool bracelet. More importantly, are you sure this is Toni? I do not recognize her at all!

  12. ShannonG

    I actually love it. I just wish it was either a tiny bit shorter or longer.

  13. Cristina

    Un-tavern-wench the neckline/sleeves and change the shoes and she’d look great.

  14. ErinB

    Remove all sleeves or make it a tank dress and take the hem to the knee. Less clunky shoes, It’s casual-feeling enough that I think it would look wonderful with flat sandals or peep-toe shoes, either in patent black or a bright color (or go for the bright color with a different clutch).

  15. Art Eclectic

    I never like off-the-shoulder AND blousey in the middle. It never does a girl any favors. I’d have liked that top a whole lot more if it tailored in the waist so that you could see that she HAD ONE. Then continue the pattern all the way down the front so that the skirt doesn’t look so much like an apron.

  16. lynn

    I like the top but on the runway, this top was shown with a straight black skirt. I think that would have worked better than this poofy skirt.

  17. TonyG

    The print up top needs to be less wide at the waist, tapering to give the entire pattern more of a v-shape. Also, cut the length of the shirt so it ends at about the knees.

  18. CakesOnAPlane


    …just kidding.

  19. ew

    shorter less fluffy skirt and

    hot pink wedge espadrilles!

  20. Allie

    Shorten the skirt into a mini and lose the clutch, and then it’d be great.

  21. monkeytoe

    I want her to go full-on Peg Bundy: keep the top, but switch everything else out for tight black pants, red cha cha heels, and giant hair.

  22. Maggiecate

    “You’re terrible Muriel”

    This is an outfit where the individual elements are fine, but put them together at this occasion and it doesn’t work. The dress needs ribbon tie espadrilles, a Greek villa and a picnic, the shoes and bag need a slinky dress and red carpet. However she looks fantastic and Muriel’s Wedding was a great film which earned her a pass for life from me.

  23. Crash1212

    The skirt kills it for me. There’s another version with a sleeker, long black skirt and it’s stunning. I like everything going on from the waist up. Her head is especially pretty here. I like the shoes. Its’ the skirt…bummer.

  24. HelenBackAgain

    I love this as is. The only thing is, it’s a very daytime look, but it appears as if she’s on her way to dinner and tried to evening it up with the clutch.

    So I guess my suggestions would be, different purse, and wear it to lunch instead!

  25.  Sharon

    Get rid of those horrible sleeves and relplce with little spaghetti straps, shorten the skirt. Different bag.

    All better now.

  26. Gypsy Danger

    Um, how do you know that in her spare time she’s NOT a really eccentric woman who serves a lot of things out of tagines by her pool at her summer place and pours all her cocktails into incredibly thick glass tumblers and doesn’t believe in sunscreen in a way that’s going to end poorly for her decolletage eventually.?

    Ever seen United States of Tara?

  27. jenw

    I really like the top – ditch everything else and pair it with a black pencil skirt or some cute black pants and stilettos.

  28. witjunkie

    Oh, it’s cool and airy and she looks pretty with her hair up. I love it.

  29. gryt

    The off-the-shoulder look rarely looks good on anyone… You gotta really own it. Like Carmen Miranda.

  30. Bambi Anne Dear

    Just ditch the shoes.

  31. Alex

    I think the skirt needs to be shorter with no sleeves, then we’re in business. Either that or the skirt needs to be a maxi dress.