Unfug It Up: Maggie Gyllenhaal


unfug-it-up

I have many a thought about Maggie here:

First and foremost: I think this haircut, about which I have been bitching for weeks, is finally at a place where I feel comfortable categorizing it as very cute on her. Maggie has a weird quality where I feel like she always looks a little sweaty — like, wherever she is, from the Oscars to a movie premiere, she ALWAYS looks to me like she walked there on a humid day. There is something about her that seems permanently clammy. But I think this hair sort of works with that instead of against it. And there you have it, the internet’s most backhanded compliment of the day: “Your haircut really works with that sweaty thing you’ve always got happening. You’re welcome.”

But maybe part of the sweatiness steams from the fact that she’s got an afghan wrapped around her waist. I actually think the bodice of this is quite flattering, and I dig the skirt, but…what IS happening….around…her waist? It’s like….a giant knit scrunchie. I’m loathe to see that around a ponytail, much less a torso. So I would obviously extract that itchy mama and call it a day. What about you?

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (47):

  1. Fawn
    +4

    Ditch the waist ruffle and add a wide orange belt.

    • Lion
      +1

      Careful with belts. If a lady doesn’t have much of a waist (and I fear that poor Maggie may suffer from it, as I do suffer), a belt is an enemy. So maybe remove the ruffle and add a wide orange… bracelet? (or orange stilettos?)

      •  CremeBrulee
        +4

        I fear the orange would make her look like a Halloween decoration. I say lose the ruffle, add a jacket, and wear it in a different season.

  2. Bdel
    +3

    Definitely lose the scrunchie. And shorten the dress. I’d be afraid of that thing sliding down too. Hmmm, maybe I’m not a fan of it at all?

    • One of the Leahs
      +1

      I’m totally on-board with losing the scrunchie and shortening it substantially. But overall I really like it!

  3. Carol
    +8

    The skirt is a cable knit pattern in the front, so the whole thing is an example of knitting needles run amok … no wonder she is sweaty, since she is wearing a giant sweater arm as a skirt, coupled with the leftover practice knitting samples garnishing her waist … the only way to fix this is to buy a cotton dress … so much better in the summer.

  4. AM
    +6

    I want to yank up or add some extra material to the top. It just seems like it’s sitting too low. Maybe take some material from around the waist and add it to the top? But she looks cute in general.

  5. Rowynn
    +10

    I think her grandma must have knitted this outfit for her, and she has to wear it once so grandma will think she likes it. It’s the only explanation.

  6. swingbird
    +7

    I was thinking about how pretty her skin looked. Nice shoulders and arms and glowing (in my eyes) skin. I guess someones glowy is another ones sweaty. Shame about the dreadful sweater dress.

    • Jessica
      +5

      I don’t even mean her skin as much as her whole AURA.

    • Claire1
      +2

      Haha! right?
      I am a shiny girl.
      HATE IT!
      Thyroid took a dive….skin did awful things to me….so whenever I see someone extra shiny I want to hug her and say “I know, I know”
      But, I’m with you, I think she looks glowing here.

  7. Goldfish
    +2

    She is going to have to hem that before I can even address any of the rest of it.

  8. Sajorina
    +2

    I agree, Jessica! Just get rid of the crocheted mega scrunchie from her waist and I’m sold! I think she looks lovely sans that thing! I’d give her a FAB!

  9. Eliza Bennett
    +8

    “But maybe part of the sweatiness steams from the fact that she’s got an afghan wrapped around her waist.”
    I love you, Fug Girls. You are..so..beautiful..to me….
    Maggie’s dress would be really cute sans mega-scrunchie at any party in WINTER. In summer, she’s just making me sweat in sympathy.

  10. Jessica
    +6

    I used the super scientific method of holding my index finger over the waist scrunchie, and I think the dress could work once it’s gone. It could use a necklace or a bracelet or both though, because once the waist scrunchie is gone, there’s not a whole lot of accessorizing here. I am also not entirely sold on that haircut, personally. I’m sure Maggie G is devastated.

    • Claire1
      +2

      super scientific method!!!
      LOVE IT!!
      That made me laugh…..my dog gave me a strange look.
      You win!

  11. Leelee
    +6

    “There is something about her that seems permanently clammy.”
    This is exactly what I have have always thought but never been able to put into words. And that outfit looks like she was going to an Under The Sea themed party but only had the ends of various fabrics to use, so she just sewed them all together and planned to hide behind a giant conch shell all night.
    I don’t love the hair cut either. To me it looks like when Tyra gets all excited and gives a girl the Mia Farrow, and then it inevitably goes tragically wrong and the girl cries and Tyra laughs. Maggie doesn’t look THAT bad, but I still don’t think it’s settling right – it looks a bit like wig. IS it a wig?
    Ending on a positive note: her face is absolutely lovely, and she has gorgeous shoulders.

  12. Miranda
    +1

    She’s always dressed kinda funky, so this continues the theme. But Maggie was so lovely with Craig Ferguson last week that I find it hard to care about her clothes.

    • ortenzia
      0

      Yep, ditch the scrunchie and add a black tuxedo jacket over the dress/top and skirt.

      Her pink lipstick is to die for though, so summery!!

  13. Elle
    +2

    Haircut and skin fine. Burn the dress.

  14. Sandra
    +7

    Oh c’mon y’all. Think how embarrassed the poor woman must be to find herself at a photocall during moulting season.

  15. LoriK
    +7

    I don’t think think there’s any unfugging this dress. That waist ruffle is ridiculous, but even with out that it’s a knitted dress in June. No. If she were wearing it in October, when a knitted dress makes sense, it would be strapless in October so it would still be a no.

    The one good thing that I can say about this is that she’s not dressed like an elementary school librarian at her retirement dinner. She’s actually making an effort and I applaud that as a general trend even thought I think the specifics of this outfit are bad.

    • Lizzy
      +3

      Sadly, she’s dressed IN the elementary school librarian’s first retirement knitting project.

  16.  Sarah
    +2

    How is that dress staying up? At least the hair is improving. I read somewhere that she had to get a purposefully bad haircut for a role and this cut is the first step in fixing it.

  17. Betsy
    +2

    I think the only good thing about the actual dress is the bodice, except that it needs to be pulled up or lengthened. Pull it up and re-do the entire bottom half of the dress. Her hair and makeup is cute though.

  18. Carrick
    0

    Skirt looks like she is being gone down on by a sawfish.

  19. Jorie
    +6

    “Your haircut really works with that sweaty thing you’ve always got happening. You’re welcome.” – is seriously THE FUNNIEST thing I’ve read in a very long time….I cannot stop laughing.

  20. Jessie
    +5

    This is underelated to the post, but is there anyway for me to NOT see 1/3rd of a butt cheek and 1/2 of a boob on that American Apparel ad? Yikes. NSFW!

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +5

      AdBlock Plus. If you’re goofing off here while at work, for which no civilized person could blame you, you may not be allowed to install it, but if you can, it WORKS.

  21. Mikki
    +4

    What is it with these women and their affinity for strapless dresses?? They never fit right, always look like they need to be tugged up!

  22. nicole
    +2

    holy gut ruffle – is it summer in her world or is she in a colder country? I mean, I guess she’s set if the room gets drafty…

  23. acake
    0

    The bodice is good. Make the whole thing out of the bodice material. The rest is HIDEOUS.

  24. Vi
    +2

    She has such beautiful bone structure and proportions, but, it’s like she (or her stylist) doesn’t have the first clue about what looks good on her. It’s really a shame, really.

  25. K8e
    +2

    The scrunchy comment two fugs below (above?) SJP brings to mind the Scrunchie episode of SATC, when Carrie criticized the appearance of a scrunchie on a NYC woman in Berger’s novel–which I always thought as the seed that really led to the Post-it Note breakup.
    (And my theory continues to hold true: everything about being an approaching middle-aged single woman was told in SATC, just like everything about growing up in a big family was told on The Brady Bunch.)
    Maggie’s outfit is out of season, and looks like something I would have picked up at Daffy Dan’s because I couldn’t resist the deal, but then never actually wore.

  26. Heather S.
    +1

    This reminds me of a time when I was going to an event that involved wearing somewhat revealing clothing, but I got stuck seeing my grandmother beforehand. She made me cover it up with some froufrou crap that ruined the look, but even at 35 she is still my grandmother and can do that. Maggie’s waist thing is 100% what my grandmother would put over the cute outfit under it.

  27.  HelenBackAgain
    0

    No.

    She needs to just throw it out, including shoes, and start over.

  28. PB
    +4

    That thing around her waist makes it look like she is mid way through taking off one dress and she has another dress on underneath it.

    • lola
      0

      That’s exactly what I thought. She’s got a sweater dress on as a skirt.

      • Magatha
        0

        I think the thing around her waist is inflatable. It would make sense if you are sailing, or if Hurricane Sandy-2 is in the forecast, but not for a normal red carpet in summer.

    • workinprogress
      0

      which would totally explain the clamminess factor!

  29. Vandalfan
    +2

    She could stand the heck up straight, for starters. Shoulders back, stomach in, chin down, as Mom and Dad would say. That won’t help the clothing, but I’ll feel a lot better.

    •  HelenBackAgain
      0

      Hee, I know, me too. Fond of Maggie though I am, I do mind a bit the sympathy shoulder and back pain I get whenever I look at a photo of her on a carpet somewhere.

  30. Sarah
    0

    Controversial as this may be, leave the scrunchie, change the pattern on the skirt so it doesn’t clash with said scrunchie. Maybe not black, maybe a colour? And shorten it!!

  31. Sophia Loren
    +1

    I love her and her hair, I love her sweaty glowy aura, I love this dress and its length. But of course she should lose the ruffle and accessorize with a bright color, as the earliest posters suggested. But probably not orange.

    I second the dislike for strapless dresses in general, but assume that the knitter here just ran out of yarn. Still, I love a big old sweater dress.

  32.  Emma
    +1

    Wow, am I the only one who HATES the hair? It’s SO ageing.

  33. Claire1
    0

    I love that she’s not wearing a grandma top.
    So much that I can almost ( ALMOST) ignore her from the waist down.