Unfug It Up: Emma Stone


unfug-it-up

It’s not strictly that I OBJECT to looking like a Dalmatian.

I just wonder if there are more flattering ways to DO it. Like, say, actually being a Dalmatian. Take a look at it up close:

Maybe less fuss is the way to go. Imagine if this were just a plain white top of some ilk, maybe a halter, with that belt and skirt. Hard to tell if it would work better, but one thing it would eliminate is our old friend Linebacker Shoulders. All that fabric is making Emma look like an HGH accident. I can’t wait until it’s revealed half of Hollywood is juicing because they misinterpreted exactly what kind of performance that drug enhances.

And now, back in a longer shot, it just looks MATRONLY and slouchy and fussy. That is a tragical trifecta right there. What would you fix? Would you keep the top as-is and tinker with the skirt? Would you keep SOME but not all of the hoo-ha and the whatnot and the general palaver happening up top? Or would you slap on a stole, give her gloves, a dye job, and a cigarette in a holder, tell her either to go full Cruella or go home? Repair it, Fug Nation.

 

 

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Comments (45):

  1. Alexandra
    0

    Full Cruella or go home!!!

  2. Stefanie
    0

    OH man this just confirms I want to be Cruella for Halloween this year.

    But since Emma isn’t at a costume party I would scrap the entire thing. She is way to pretty for this disaster.

  3. mhorv4
    0

    Cut the skirt off at the knees with a slightly shorter slit and put a cap sleeve black top on her. Also make the belt wider-the top of the skirt is somehow making her look hippy. She is usually so spot-on and cute.

  4. witjunkie
    0

    I agree, the top is a bit of a dog’s breakfast, as my mom would say, but the skirt is gorgeous and flattering on her…maybe a white silky halterish top or a deep ruffled V. and a wider black belt.

  5. Wade
    0

    The top is sort of silly, ain’t it? How’s about reversing the black and white?

  6. acake
    0

    I’d leave the top as is and change the bottom to either black or white, not more polka dots.

  7. marianna
    0

    She is such a pretty girl, but that dress is a total waste. It looks like she’s drowning in it!

  8. Lina
    0

    Oh, wow. Just rip off the sleeves and bodice overlay & it would be great. As it is, though, the bodice is a travesty. The simple white halter that’s underneath all that pointless fabric is nice, and a restrained top like that would be perfect with the busyness of the skirt. I wouldn’t mind a cuter belt, while we’re at it — and I wish we could see her shoes. Dare I hope for red shoes to match her lipstick?

  9. vandalfan
    0

    Remove top, make spots yellow, orange, turquoise, or lime, et voila’!

  10. dove
    0

    love the skirt just get rid of the sleeves, that’s the only problem with it

  11. Joyce
    0

    This dress is awful. Shorten the skirt to knee, add a small slit, eliminate the froo frah from her shoulders, keep the white top underneath, add a small belt with color (yellow, maybe red, geez how about a sparkly white), FIX HAIR AND MAKEUP, add a great shoe…oh man Emma just take it all off and start over.

  12. Kit
    0

    Full-on Cruella. Go big or go home!

  13. Zed
    0

    I’m with Lina. I wouldn’t even necessarily object to a little spotty jacket on top if she wanted more than the low-cut white top, but it’s messy as it is. I don’t quite understand the comment describing her as looking hippy. The only hip I see is bone, she is very slender.

  14. Anne B
    0

    Well Hello, Dotty! I mean Goodbye, Dotty!

    It’s so white, by which I mean it’s all so wrong …

    :)

  15. Dazie
    0

    1. Lose the belt
    2. Add a corset-shaped top
    3. Princess sleeves
    4. Gradually reduce the # of spots as you go up, to show a stark white bodice
    5. Red wrap

  16. Katharine
    0

    The skirt looks great, actually — the cut and the fit, really nice. The dots are messy, and not in a good kind of messy, more as though she got her favourite three-year-old to decorate the fabric with marker.

    I think I’d make it a dress, with a simple 30s-ish halter top, ditch all of that … whatever… overblouse thing, and change the fabric; make the dots more restrained and elegant. Still random, but less of a jiggly kind of random. Perhaps different sizes, beginning small and getting larger. Start them scattered near the bottom, then let them grow denser up her legs and hips, until the halter top of the dress is solid black.

  17. TaraMisu
    0

    I actually like the skirt, so maybe the top as a black halter, white would be my second choice though. It looks like there is a halter-y top of some sort under that hideous jacket.
    I really like Katharine’s ^ idea!

  18. Sara B.
    0

    Perfect posture is required to pull off this gown, but Emma is slouched over and lost inside the twists and poofs of fabric. Not her dress.

  19. Erin W
    0

    Clearly, she’s trying to attract the dean from Community…

  20. Lisa
    0

    @Erin W you are awesome.

  21. myawfulroommate
    0

    It actually makes her look fat, not like a bit bigger than usual but makes her look like 8 sizes bigger than she is, it is giving her like fat old lady shoulders

  22. lesliejeannene
    0

    fix the random holes inthe front and in the shoulders, hem the skirt to an normal length. Red belt, great shoe.

  23. KMG
    0

    I know you can barely see them, but I have an irrational hate of her shoes.

  24. Carol
    0

    Very easy to unfug … she is clearly wearing the dress backwards … I’m sure if she just turns it around, we will all feel better.

  25. cruzilla
    0

    I love this whole thing! Yes, it is very lonely over here by my vantage point, but I think it is fun and interesting, and she is lovely.

  26. pc
    0

    I’m with cruzilla too! I love it! It’s fresh and youthful and who but the fresh and youthful can be so spotted? I’m besotted with her spots.

  27. Clare
    0

    Simplify the bodice – single piece of fabric, possibly with a boatneck. Ditch the sleeves. Leave everything else.

  28. anny
    0

    Come in out of the wind, then let’s see how it hangs.

  29. Mahastee
    0

    The way it drapes around her shoulders is all wrong, and makes her look slouchy. Tidy up the bodice and I think it could be pretty cute.

  30. Sando
    0

    It looks like it has a weird jacket-y thing on top of a tank bodice. I think if you take the jacket-y thing off it would be great.

  31. ccm800
    0

    Hey anyone else watching the adorable new Sitcom Suburgatory with the delightful Jane Levy who looks EXACTLY like Emma Stone???? it is a good little show – funny – Gilmore Girls vibe but single dad instead. Manhattanites move to the burbs – hilarity ensues.

    • Sajorina
      0

      I watch it and I like it, but I don’t think Jane looks anything like Emma!

  32. sec
    0

    Um, I think she’s much too pale to wear white, period (pun intended). Failing that, agree with others: lose the blouse-y top, belt and shoes in red (or bright color), better earrings and/or nice bracelet (or evening purse).

  33. NYCGirl
    0

    Simple top, knee-length skirt, polka dots that are actually dots and not blobby things, no blue eyeshadow.Or maybe just start over. :p

  34. Sajorina
    0

    I love the fabric of the dress and the shoes are to die for, but I’d get rid of the sleeves and the belt! I think she looks BEAUTIFUL!!!

  35. Mockingbird
    0

    It looks like there’s a simple white top underneath, which the polka dotted jacket/wrap is doing its best to strangle. I actually like the skirt as is (it looks a little awkward in the first picture but I think that might be wind blowing it around), but she should go with something simple and white on the top and consign the sheer polka-dotted thing on top to the depths of the underworld, where it can then strangle these scary guys on the sides of my screen.

  36. Spills
    0

    The skirt is fab. I think the top is what’s messing up the look. I’d keep the skirt and go with maybe a simple silk black halter? Don’t know if the belt would be necessary then. Oh, and keep the red lip with a low, messy bun. Then she could even go with a more interesting earring and/or bracelet.

  37. Donna
    0

    Take off the dotted part of the top, and fix the makeup. She looks like a particularly hard and world-weary 40 year old with that eyeliner.