Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks


Oh god. I just can not even:

For some reason, the use of green in the words “Specsavers” on the step-and-repeat behind Christina made me think this was some kind of eco-fundraiser — you know, Save the Foliage or Protect The Hedgerow — and I seriously reflected, “OH, of COURSE. She’s wearing something that’s meant to look like fungus ON PURPOSE because ENVIRONMENT.” Then I realized it was more like she was wearing glasses on purpose because: SPECS. That being said, I think this can be saved. Me, I’d make the hem even — I really, sincerely hate this uneven hem on this dress, because it feels like Shenanigans for the Sake of Shenanigans, which rarely actually translates to Hotness — and then I’d rip that collar off, set it on fire, and throw the flaming debris into a Porta-Potty and then shove the Porta-Potty off a cliff.

Your turn.

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Comments (126):

  1. maryse

    i think going up a size would help too.

  2. Stephanie

    I would also go UP a size. Or two. There’s no shame in wearing the appropriate size for your body. It might still be kind of unattractive, but at least she wouldn’t look so squished and rumpled.

    And she needs better shoes. Those are snoozy.

  3. Kristen

    She needs to consult with Sofia Vergara’s tailor, and she needs to let Janie Bryant pick out all her clothes. She is ridiculous. I am over my CH crush.

  4. Jen

    This dress is grotesque. I don’t think it can be saved. Hate the collar, hate the hem, hate the wrong size, hate the shoes.

    Love the specs, though.

  5. glee

    Yep, she is a spokeswoman for Specsavers down under. And there is no way this can be deuglified. Well, there is – wear a different dress. If J. Simps can wear nice clothes with her mammary gifts, why can’t this woman?

  6. pedro

    I would do all that…go up a size and add two more layers of spanx…

  7. katie s.

    this is how i’m afraid i look sometimes. if it was a size or two larger, i think she’d look great. but sigh.

  8. pantsonfire

    So that’s what’s going on? It’s way too small?? I saw pics of this yesterday and I stared at it for several minutes. I couldn’t tell if the rumples and cattywampusness of the dress were on purpose, or if it was because the dress was too small and she couldn’t get it to fall properly at all. So I guess it’s definitely the latter. As a side note, in side shots, you can see that she might not be wearing a properly sized bra–she has these painful looking creases near her armpits.

    In summary: It’s pretty inherently fugly, but sizing up at least one size and evening the hem would help.

  9. Sandala

    Buy clothes that fit. Get appropriate foundation garments. Put the boobs away. Just stop it.

  10. Laucie

    Nothing here is salvageable. She needs to spend a week (at least) watching Wendy Williams’ talk show and then copy absolutely everything she wears, at least for her daytime look. Wendy has a very similar body, and doesn’t hide it, but always looks beautifully put-together.

  11. cathy

    how can someone so lovely look so bad. i dont think that i ever saw her wearing something decent outside MM

  12. emk

    When I first saw this I thought, dear god the fug girls have to comment….

    P.S. Boobs

  13. ceecee

    Her girlfriends need to nominate her for What Not to Wear.

  14. Stefanie

    My biggest issue is the fact it’s too small.

  15. wordphreak

    Who is dressing this woman?

    • Francesca

      Someone with a white cane and a seeing-eye dog. No, actually, someone without sight can have superior tactile skills and they would know the dress was too tight. It looks like she bought something cheap from the outlet store. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s no bargain if it doesn’t fit. Christina needs a bit more of Joan Harris’ style.

    • Charlotte

      Not Janie Bryant, most unfortunately!

  16. amys

    I read today that she finds the term “full figured” to be rude. I guess then it’s probably even more rude for me to point out that she cannot dress her figure (not full!) to save her life. Good gravy get a grip. She looks ridiculous. And I love her on MM. Love. I think she’s beautiful, stunning, etc. I swear she’s dressing this way on purpose now.

    • laura

      Would she prefer chunky, then? Because she is not slender or flat. What she is: voluptuous, or curvy, or classically hourglass-shaped. – oh yeah: full-figured. And gorgeously so, at that.

      I understand that labels can be rude or condescending or whatever – but face it, love, there are ruder terms than “full-figured”.

      And wearing clothes that fit would go far in showing off that fabulous body so much better.

      • Kat

        Yeah, I agree Laura. After reading that and seeing that, I wonder if she’s in denial over her size. She is absolutely full figured (and as you so, gorgeously so), but she doesn’t seem to dress like she knows it.

        • JanetP

          Except that “full-figured” is code for “fat”, and she is not fat. And in a properly fitting dress, her figure would look less full.

        • mshesterp

          But these days EVERYTHING is code for fat, so what would you suggest? Curvy? Voluptuous, etc. It doesn’t matter. What would she prefer? Take a term and own it, you know??

      • Kit

        Well, in her defence, she’s a size 8 or 10, and only in Hollywood would that be considered “full figured”, which let’s face it, we all know is code for “fat”.

  17. Kara

    Yeah, that’s straight-up too small. The dress itself is pretty ugly (I’d make the hem even and swap the collar for a scoop or square neck, but … ugly), but its biggest problem is that it simply doesn’t fit. She looks much bigger in it than I suspect she actually is – squeezing into a size too small always makes you look bigger.

  18. laura

    I agree with everyone:
    NOTHING about this outfit is attractive. Not even “ugly pretty”, as Ms Tyra would say.

    Christina, dear, I know you are trying to embrace your fabulous body, but show it off in something that fits and is pretty! Even the shoes!

  19. katkin74

    The first thing I’d do is put her boobs back where they should be. Under the neck, is definately not where your boobs should be.

  20. margaret

    Maybe it is that these particular spectacles are not working properly; that is why she can’t see how she looks? HAR

  21. Ladyblahblah

    I get the impression that she tries for a sexy, breathy, post-coital dishevelled look, but she shows up to everything looking like a couch surfer who has to pull clothes from a friend’s closet who’s 2 sizes smaller and wears a B cup. Real, fake – it doesn’t matter – I am so sick to death of seeing celebrity boob.

  22. anny

    I’d just like to point out that those taupe things near her shoulders are not in fact a collar but some sort of neck flange. (Perhaps this dress was designed for an ambidextrous violinist.) So if you ripped those off you’d be left with ridiculously tiny little black shoulder straps.

    How about if we eliminate the neck flanges and the V and made it a square neck with wide-ish black shoulder straps, and sheared off the mullet? That would be a start.

  23. Siobhán

    I usually would never yell this at a lady, but TAKE THE BRA OFF!

    If they sat at normal height and this whole thing ended just below the knee (the dress, not her tatas), it might be fine….ish?

  24. Bebe

    My fixes, which I think would work BEAUTIFULLY:

    Up a size or two (duh)
    Lose the black panels and make the pattern go all around
    Even the hem
    Make it a one shouldered, snug sheath that shows JUST A HINT of cleav
    Moss green suede platform pumps with cool detailing of some sort


  25. Sandra

    The black OR the print, Christina. Not both. Ever. It’s like she split a black dress down the front and stitched a short print one in the middle. It’s too small to begin with and this makes it look even worse. And amen to the “Put ‘Em Away, Sister” petition. Human anatomy does not work like that. Her figure shouldn’t actually be hard to dress at all. Just quit buying shit that doesn’t flatter it. There’s plenty of women equally well endowed–ok, maybe not in Hollyweird–who don’t go around looking like a “Don’t Let This Happen To You” poster in a plastic surgery clinic. She just has really dreadful taste, I guess.

  26. fritanga

    AND she looks as if she’s wearing grandma peep-toed pumps even when she isn’t. Why does she look so fabulous as Joan and yet so awful and frumpy in RL? It’s the same body!

    This thing is at least one size too small. The hem is an atrocity. WHY DOES SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF? It can’t be because this dress is comfortable because it looks exactly the opposite. Oy veys mir.

  27. Dazie
    • glee

      Yes, totally cute with different patterns/fabrics. Except for polterwang in one of the photos, but I think it was more her posture.

    • margrrret

      Some of the shots are all right, but plaid pants are about the worst choice possible for someone that curvy. They are only flattering on very slim, fine-boned women with boyish figures, Twiggy types. I also question the floppy bow cravat laying atop her chest- she looks much better with wide or v-necks.

  28. Heather

    The specs are great. Otherwise I think this is absolutely the WORST thing I have ever seen her wear. And that’s saying a lot. Everything else aside (color, silhouette, fungus print), how did she not put it on and realize that it’s AT LEAST two sizes too small? How did she get it zipped? And I hope with all hope that she didn’t try to sit down in that thing.

  29. Lynn

    The pattern is ugly, the hem is awful, the dress does not fit, and the shoes look like they are two sizes too small – perhaps to go with the dress.
    I now assume this is all on purpose or that she thinks she looks great. I no longer have any interest in what this woman wears as apparently, she doesn’t either.

  30. vandalfan

    Since I’m pretty much wearing those glasses right now, I’ll say I love the specs. And I thought the one thing all moms teach is that if your clothing pulls and puckers, it’s not the right size.

    If her boobs were in the correct anatomical place where nature and gravity intended, then she could still show her tiny waist with proper side seams. The peek a boo hem of course needs to be amended to a single level, and being from Idaho, I’d like to see the fungal print go full cammo, like True Timber or Genuine Realtree. Hunting season is coming up soon.

  31. Bella

    This is beyond fixing. I wonder if shoes are a problem for her or if her feet hurt. She often wears this style and her foot looks very wide. She should raid Joan’s closet and be done with it.

  32. Ghanimatrix

    I don’t understand her pathological need to push her boobs up over her armpits. Girlfriend: we all know they’re there. Support them, don’t serve them up on a wobbly platter like a pair of jello molds.

  33. Jules

    1- New Bra. Fitted by a professional, please.

    2- Don’t be afraid to wear a dress that FITS as opposed to one you can fit *into* (barely). If someone’s close enough to read the size on the tag, they probably don’t care what it says.

    3- If you won’t go for a wider V neckline with a proper bra, look into bateau/wide scooped necklines. A wider look at the shoulder = chestal balance and less attention on your boobs.

    4- To hell with it. Go up *two* sizes; anything’s better than looking like a sausage made of boobs and fabric.

  34. Kit

    When I saw this picture I sighed and said to myself : “I’m so TIRED of this chick.”

    And it’s not that I’m tired of her, it’s that I’m tired of her consistent inablity to dress herself. It’s tiresome.

    And I’m tired of her always saying in interviews “oh poor me, I’m not a standard size and my breasts are so large and I have trouble getting clothes that fit”.

    Well the rest of poor plebes manage to do it, (okay, I’m not not of the big-bewbed-race, but my sister is and she always looks great); and we don’t have access to stylists and handlers and publicists but we still know how to dress in something flattering, that manages to fit


    • Megan

      This, all of it.

      Every time I see her on this site, I sigh and think “What horrors wait for us this time? Boobs up to her chin, too-small clothes, bad hair?” And every time, she has some sort of disaster. Every.blessed.time.

      • Kit

        I KNOW!!!!

        (Sorry to get shrieky.) lol

        • ErinS

          KIT: you nailed it. Really, does this chick own a mirror?? Has she no friends to tell her “oh hell naw you ain’t wearing that” before she walks out the door?? Everytime I look at this picture I think ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME???

    • Katharine

      I feel you. I keep thinking, “does she not even have the internet? Does she never, ever look at pictures of herself from events?” That alone should serve as a wakeup call.

      And it’s not even as if clothing for the Large of Boob is all that hard to come by, any more. There are websites for it, and dozens of fashion blogs, so she, or her stylist (if she has one), could totally be sourcing well-fitting clothing and brassieres, and she certainly has the income to pay shipping charges.

      The only conclusion is that she just doesn’t care, and if she doesn’t, why should we? It’s not even as if she ever looks tacky-hot, because she doesn’t; she always winds up looking like a middle-aged matron or an elderly comic opera singer with a “bosom”.

      • kickassmomnyc

        I don’t think it’s that she doesn’t care — I think she does. I think it’s that she doesn’t KNOW. She’s has impossibly bad taste and no clue. Of course, there must be someone important around enabling her, telling her that she looks good.
        She can’t see the difference in how she looks as Joan and how she looks as Christina, so is there any hope? Maybe she’s not too bright, I dunno.

    • Lynnlynn

      AMEN TO THAT. She is a visual assault to big breasted women everywhere. Quit cinching them up to your chin and then crying “woe is me” when you get called out for looking like a porn star. And a badly dressed porn star at that (and when you can’t reach the bar of “well-dressed porn star” you have a whole other set of problems…). At this point I don’t even care how awful she looks if she’d just rein in her girls. Enough already. JUST REIN THEM IN.

  35. Gigi

    Re: The Boobs. I know, they are always so PRESENT. But as a gal who is barely half her size up there, the issue is less her brassiere and more the clothes she wears. When you are THAT big, there is only so much of yourself you can hide or tuck away. Depending how her boobs are located on her body (I know that sounds weird, but some boobs are wide, starting practically under the armpits and some girls are lucky enough to have high-riders that are dense and therefore don’t “hang down” easily), she may not be able to help that she’s always got a serving shelf inches from her chin. She should just wear better dresses and not worry so much about what might float up to the top of a neckline, as long as the neckline is flattering (ie, not here in this awful dress).

  36. Sketchy

    Wow. Go up a size. Tailors exist, they can fix it to fit your waist. It’s not even that difficult. I can do it.

    Then that hem line is ridiculous, make it the same length all the way around and you change the deep v into just a v and I think she’d look good. The color is good on her anyway.

  37. KateShouldBeWorking

    Maybe she jacked her boobs up like that to mirror the shape of Specsaver’s logo. How synergistic!

  38. heron

    If those boobs get hoisted up any higher, the poor things will throttle her.

  39. jerkygirl

    I wish she’d start believing she was more than just a pair of big ones and stop shoving them at us in every outfit she wears like she thinks we’re going to forget they’re there if she doesn’t constantly remind us of them. For one thing, it doesn’t look good to pour yourself into a too-tight outfit like she almost always does, and for another, it looks super uncomfortable. I don’t mean she needs to hide them, on the contrary, she just needs to accentuate her many positives with FLATTERING CLOTHES.

  40. CC

    I long to see her in a pair of dark flared jeans, white tee, and cute blazer with statement necklace.

  41. Mel

    That dress is just plain bad in EVERY way. To summarize: bad color, bad color combo, bad hem, bad collar, bad cleavage – OUCH!, bad accessorizing (those shoes are heinous), and #1 offender: bad fit. It’s called a size (or three) up, Christina. It won’t bite.

  42. tigers4us

    Sigh…. I’d put the dress itself into that Porta-Potty & push it over a cliff. Perhaps CH should get advice from the MM stylists. As Joan, she always looks great, no?

  43. Baileyswedishfish

    I wish her girls weren’t so fake looking. I have large natural breasts and when I shove them up to my chin, you do not see an ROUND grapefruit outline. There’s not softness there, or natural curve. Just BEWBS…and MOR BEWBS.

    Her cleavage looks so forced and hard…she needs a different bra that doesn’t put them out there like bookends. I want to shove War and Peace in there.

    The dress is gross. I can see where she was thinking Redhead + Green = Win! But this looks like something you much out of the bottom of a fishpond in fall. Not good.

    She has a beautiful curvy figure with a tiny waist. I could see her in a fitted knee-length pencil skirt (black leather?) and a really classic well tailored white blouse..masculine..with turned cuffs and just enough room to fit nicely but not with gaposis at the first boob button. Accessorize it with a beautiful chunky necklace…and the shoes? Knee high boots. She’s too pale to pull off the “no hose” look.

    • Kit

      I can’t remember what site I saw it on (it may have been Dlisted) but there’s pretty good evidence that her breasts are fake. She did an ad/photoshoot/thing in her 20′s in which she appeared in a tiny shorts and equally tiny top, and her breasts were within normal range – i.e. a B or possibly C cup.

      Her publicist later responded saying “Oh silly internets, she had a growth spurt after that”, but it seems very unilkely that she had a “growth spurt” after 19.

      And though her breasts would get bigger as she got heavier (I put on ten pounds in the last year and I swear 8 of ‘em are in my breasts) I don’t think they would get THAT big just from weight.

      • Libby

        Meh, it all depends. My friend was a size B going into college and a size G coming out of college. Without getting huge all over.

      • kickassmomnyc

        I saw that. It was identified as a bikini shoot for Playboy in 1999, which would have made her 23 or 24 (a fully grown woman), at the start of her career. To me she looks like a C or D then — nowhere near the size she is now and not high and puffy.
        She’s a lot thinner in the ’99 photos, and that could account for some of the difference, but naaah.
        Looks to me very likely that she implants, but I wouldn’t swear to it.

      • lilywise

        Yeah, I also think it’s possible that she has *not* had implants. I went from a C cup to an F cup in my 20s, and the rest of me stayed the same size. The other women in my family also tend to carry any extra weight in their boobs. (3 cousins have had breast reduction surgeries already). I think it’s entirely possible that Christina’s cup size did grow throughout her 20s, and then as she’s gained some weight she’s gained even more fullness.

        She’s gorgeous, but she needs to wear clothes that fit and stop hoisting the boobs up to her chin. I’ve seen pics of her in a leather pencil skirt and wrap sweater and she looked amazing. Recently she was out and about in an adorable trench coat and jeans with boots and she looked divine. Tadashi Shoji makes great evening gowns for large-busted women. She can do so much better than this hideous dress.

        • Kit

          Okay then. :) Anecdotal evidence says it could be true. either way I don’t care. I just want her to dress properly.

  44. Baileyswedishfish

    DYAC. Hate. Loathe.

  45. Liz

    Does she just hate her face? Because it’s beautiful, and it’s about the 6th thing I noticed in this picture (and yes, each breast counts as its own thing, as that seems to be the way she’d want it).

  46. Tiffany

    Wow, that looks so painful. That dress does not fit her. Do you think she couldn’t find a dress that would fit her shape? Why not just buy a dress a few sizes big to fit your chest, and then get the waist taken in? WHY does she do this to herself? Why does she look so amazing on Mad Men, but then can’t find a tailor in real life?

  47. elin

    I would give her the number to Queen Latifah’s stylist and tell her to star over.

    • glee

      I would give her the number to Queen Latifa’s surgeon for a reduction. She clearly has no idea what to do with them.

      • Vandalfan

        Man Alive, are there some too-harsh comments and speculation about this gal’s body! People! People!

  48. Calla

    Regardless of this dress’s salvageability, I’m reminded of a theory I have that dress shirt collars never have any place on dresses except for shirtdresses. Thoughts?

  49. Jo

    FFS! I am finished with you CH!

  50. Shanti

    All I can see in this pic is the way her boobs mirror the Specsavers logo on the wall behind her. And then I can’t stop giggling. Probably not the effect she was hoping for…

  51. Chrissy

    That doesn’t fit. She needs a bigger size.

    • Charlotte

      That’s mostly it. It could be an Unfug It Up if it were the correct size for her, but this is just fug all the way.

      Love the specs!

  52. Donna

    Oh, Christina. Come over to my house; we can toss the dress out and go shopping for things that fit and make you look great. Also, your features are too delicate for thick black glasses. I can help you there, too.

  53. Mary

    When your midsection is grimacing, it is because it’s trying to speak and you are NOT LISTENING to the silent plea of “Go up a size!”

  54. Amy Farrah Fowler

    Go up a size. Then pull a Fabio and turn it upside down. Possibly even inside out. It’s just making me oh-so stabby. Same for the shoes. Don’t waste the pretty, CH!

  55. The Fugger

    …are Fug Madness nominations open yet? I think Joan just earned herself a 1-seed.

    That said, since this is an Unfug It Up: This would be awesome with a different dress. And different shoes. And different glasses (or no glasses).

  56. Megan Ishler Anderson

    Her sartorial choices are so aggressively awful, so actively unkind to everything lovely about her, it is as if she is sending secret rage-making messages to me. She is thinking MEGAN WILL HATE THIS SO MUCH. And it works, oh God how it works. it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths.

  57. rb

    ‘Stina is doing it on purpose — and brilliantly! This dress is supposed to make anyone look thinner with the illusion hallway on her hips, however this does the EXACT opposite. She is getting so much press and blog-flogging from the worst choices possible. Lane Bryant is probably sending her samples right NOW.

  58. muffie

    wtf with the boobage ?

  59. Kcat

    Um, I have this dress. In a correct size. It’s Black Halo (of the ever-popular Jackie dress) and I love it (on me). The neckline looks nothing like that — her’s is a good 3 sizes too small.

  60. cs

    The dress, without the pattern, from Black Halo for comparison.

  61. marguerite

    i would change e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. i would replace that fugly dress with a simple little black dress, get rid of that awful push up bra, like no honey, your boobs should not be up to your neck. and what is up with the probably fake glasses and those shoes that make her body disproportionate???

  62. amelia

    This is at least TWO SIZES too small! And why is she not getting outfits custom-made? She is NOT a standard size at all. But she is fabulous nonetheless. She needs to get some clothes that fit ALL of her. Get some clothes made, sister. Support the tailors.

  63. telepsa tal

    why this girl chooses to dress in a way that undermines or cheapens all of her assets, I will never know. This is a monstrosity, period.
    in short, still beautiful, still needs a (new?) stylist.

  64. Elle

    Or here’s another idea: throw the dress out entirely, lose about 25 pounds, and be the magnificent beauty you were just a few years ago.

    • Heather

      Please refrain from commenting on her body. She does NOT need to “lose about 25 pounds,” and even if she did, this isn’t the place to talk about it.

  65. Ellelake

    She sets her headlights on high, wears too small clothing and then gets upset when asked about being “full figured”; someone needs to rethink their image. And basically give us all a break in doing so.

  66. Lola

    Zaftig! and Smashing yer Boobs up to yer chin is not flattering.
    I think the whole black side panels were meant to give the illusion she’s thin-BUT it just looks like the illusion was more vertical stripes and tux tails.
    A well tailored sheath from a single fabric always looks good on full figures.

  67. Mongerel

    Chrisitina: This dress makes your tits look grotesque and your legs make my sea-life-rescue instincts just…claw to be activated. And those glasses have a miraculous effect, too. Rather than looking like BCGs, they are the saving merit of this “outifit” if you can call it that, because they make your hair look like a wig, so congratulations, you have set a new fashion trend, “Christina”:

    out: BCG (birth control glasses)

    in: BCW (birth control wig

    P.S. You are a size 14. Own it.

  68. Jeanie

    Can not be saved! Throw dress, shoes and specs in Porta-Potty with haste!

  69. Lily1214

    Stuffed sausage.

  70. Linda

    I think whoever is dressing Mrs. Hendricks just plain hates her. This dress has everything wrong: the size, the colour, the collar, the hem. Also these folds on the front (are these intentional?) make the dress look ill-fitting. The shoes are just plain terrible.

  71. Shoeniverse

    I am just going to go ahead and say it – girl has fat legs and needs to go ahead and wear something that covers her knees – this length does nothing for her.


  72. Helen

    Add me to the chorus of “First, start with a properly fitted brassiere.”

    And also, “Tired.” Heard THAT.

    Ms. Hendricks… please, hire a stylist. If you have one now, fire that person and hire a new one.

    The dress would never be much to my taste, but in the right size I think it could work on a petite younger person who has a bit of a funky style sense. Kristen Stewart, maybe.

  73. TonyG

    I am really surprised at all the strong opinions regarding Christina Hendricks and her figure. Her figure, to me, is pretty damned healthy, curvy, and generally fabulous.

    I think there’s a certain level of curious strength to opinions when a woman who is bigger than normal decides to dress in tight clothes. It seems like folks tend to be more vigorously vocal about it.

    I say this because I just notice the vigor when Cristina Hendricks or Aguilera dresses tightly as opposed to say, someone like Bai Ling or Sophia Vergara. When Bai Ling or Sophia Vergara does it, there’s a lot less discussion of their figure and more about the clothes and their design.

    Also, in regards to large breasted women, either by choice or by nature, I know it’s important to give the breasts a lot of support.

    In my family, where some of the women are large-breasted push up bras with under-wire were important not really to show off the breasts, but in order to take off the pressure from the lower back and to prevent them from moving around too much. Because of the size of the breasts, if the bra is loosely fitted, or if there is no support at all, as some folks here suggest, they move around a lot the musculature and tissues around the chest area tear more easily. Consequently, I remember my mom stressing to my sisters, that it was very important to make sure that there was a snug fit to undergarments and bras. I am just saying this, because there are good reasons for large breasted women to dress snugly up top. A snug fit is desired and not only for what one may desire to show off.

    In general, I do like that Christina likes to show off her figure. Here the only issue for me is that the pattern is uninspiring, I don’t like the gray things on her shoulder, and I don’t like the slight mullet-y look to the bottom of the dress.

  74. Agi Szalontai

    Definitely a size or two up would have helped. She’s got sooo many curves, squeezing them into a tiny dress just makes her look overweight instead of curvaceous.

    The uneven hem would have also looked better if the rest of the dress wasn’t so ruffled due to it being too small. The colour… yeah, it’s an awful colour regardless of size.

    Seriously, whoever dresses Christina Hendricks should be punished.

  75. Megan Ishler Anderson

    Hi Tony! I’m sure you are a nice man, but what you don’t know about tailoring is a lot.

    Sophia Vergara’s tailor is a *genius* (recent but exposure notwithstanding). She wears tight clothes that might make you say “Girlfriend likes her clothes tight!” but never, ever “Girlfriend, go up a size!” That is the difference between having a dress tailored to your exact measurements with maybe 1/4″ wearing ease and cramming yourself into a dress that is too small and letting the seams strain where they may.

    If your mom saw your sister’s boobs crammed into CH’s bras, believe us she would send sis back to the woolworth counter for a different make of cross-your-heart.

    Also, Bai Ling! That’s funny!!

    • TonyG

      I don’t know so much about bras, so you may be right on that count (that there are better options), but as far as the snugness of the dress, I think folks still give her too much guff for that because of her size.

      Also, I laughed about Bai Ling…Yeah…Bai Ling wasn’t the greatest example…she’s almost always on the fug side of the ledger, isn’t she?

      • Charlotte

        Because of her size? Here, no. You might be thinking Yahoo or somewhere else.

  76. Janiekettles

    As one who is similarly ‘blessed’, mamm-wise, I feel for the girl – but she has the holy trinity of beautiful bazongs, a little waist, and a relatively flat tummy – holy cheese-strings, I’d poke my own eyes out for that combo. Proper bra, keep ‘em where they live, don’t squish ‘em all up in your business…..a good, well-fitting, slightly drapy wrap or shift dress, flair gently over the hips and thigs, for balance – cleavage is terrific, but not when it’s threatening to throttle you. As someone said, up-thread – her face is a GIFT, yet unseeable because of the scroll-down horror…

  77. Colleen

    Well, this is just RUDE, from head to toe. It would not kill you, CH, to go up a size or 5 in the boob area. (Also try going up a size or two with the dress.) I don’t know about anyone else, but I am over seeing her boobs squished into and sticking out of (practically) everything she wears. How can that be comfortable? I, too, am large up top, but my lady bits are always contained – and I don’t money, stylists, and designers dressing me.

    I’m also over (not that I was ever under) CH. How is it rude to be called full figured, when you are, in fact, full figured? I was always under the impression that she embraced her womanly shape. Why did she feel the need to stop the interview? The reported wasn’t being rude…and being called full figured is not something to be ashamed of. I guess I’ll never understand.

  78. Guest

    She is a woman who is well endowed. Get over it. It happens. Not everyone in the public eye is going to have moderate proportions. Fugly Girls: HER CLEAVAGE WILL NEVER CHANGE. YES, SOMETIMES IT WILL APPEAR SMALLER/LESS NOTICEABLE WHEN SHE CHOOSES SOMETHING MORE CONCEALING BUT THIS IS HOW SHE IS GOING TO LOOK IF SHE DOESN’T FULLY COVER THEM UP. GET. OVER. IT.

    • Jessica

      I didn’t actually say ANYTHING about her cleavage.

    • Cora

      I don’t think anyone here really has a problem with cleavage, or large breasts. The problem is that she looks terribly, terribly uncomfortable, and there is no reason for it. This isn’t about conforming to a single body image, but rather working with what you have. What she has is lovely, but the way it’s dressed is horrible. I agree with all the folks up there who have said “get a good bra, with professional help.” I’m not that large but I did this, and not only does it really help — once the girls are properly wrangled, you can wear all sorts of stuff and it looks great — it’s actually fun. Look in the yellow pages for independent lingerie and bathing suit stores where they say they cater to full-figured ladies — who gives a damn what anyone else thinks that means — and also stock mastectomy supplies. They have a GINORMOUS selection of bras; and the ladies who work there? Yeah, they really do rock the Linda Richman cliche, but they are kind and professional and they Know. Their. Shit. They will whip out the tape measure and push and prod and study, which may seem weird; but then they go get three or four different styles that they know will fit you perfectly and it is fucking heaven. Hendricks needs this. Hell, we all need this.

  79. Selden

    It’s not just that Hendricks can’t dress her figure; she can’t dress her bunions either. Which, you know, is a whole lot more understandable – I’m not saying she should squish her poor feet into a high heel or anything that would make life more uncomfortable. But there must be options out there that don’t involve the dreadful bridesmaidy pumps that she falls back on Every. Single. Time.

    Ballet pumps? Awesome boots? Anything not simultaneously mumsy and twee?

    It would help such a lot with her legs, which, let’s face it, aren’t close to being her best feature. On that note, I’d love to see her in trousers every so often. I remember once seeing a candid snap of her in jeans, shirt, and boots (and those awesome glasses, I think), and she looked, yes, gorgeous. But also normal. Relaxed. Nothing shoved up or squeezed in or gift-wrapped.

    It was such a *relief* – I think part of the reason she gets such grief for her clothes is that looking at her in any sort of formal outfit is such a strain – so much effort seems to have gone into creating such a godawful mess that it wears one out just looking at it.

    It also suggests that, while she obviously has the dress-sense of a wombat high on appletinis, she can actually dress reasonably decently when she’s not dressing up as such. Hire a stylist, woman, and dress down, not up up up.

    • Helen

      You’re right, Selden, there are plenty of options in shoes now. I have wide feet with bunions, too, and I have loads of pretty shoes, boots, and sandals. It’s just a question of finding the right fit, or having them made custom. Hendricks could easily wear different shoe styles.

  80. Ruby

    Apparently her real name, Cleavage McGinger-Crotch didn’t test well. Hence the change to Christina Hendrix.

  81. A.J.

    Please STOP squishing your boobs! I can’t breath everytime I see you! My chest hurts!

  82. Sirena

    I love Christina Hendricks but God I wish she would read this. She can afford a great seamstress – she should buy clothes that fit her breasts and tailor the rest of it to it her body, not wrestle her breasts into the wrong size and have to stand awkwardly all night so that no one sees her side-view and worries she’s trying to smuggle a breastplate from Gladiator into the venue. This has got to stop!

  83. reagan

    Because those glasses balance out your disastrous cleavage. Sure. Uh huh.

  84. Roz

    This is absolutely hideous. Wtf? She squishes her amazing assets on top and hides them in freakin’ revolting fabric, only to show off her legs and feet, which are NOT her best features. You do not have Boobs Leggsley’s legs! Squishing your feet into those hideous pointy shoes only makes your legs look fatter and uglier! Not to mention who in their right mind would ever choose that loathsome fabric and cut! This angers me.

  85. Amy

    UHHHHHHH!!!!!! You can afford to go up a size or two. I have big boobs, but that is too much! Just NO!

  86. Izabel

    Oh gosh! How come she doesn’t realise how good she looks in clothes that fit her? She should watch Mad Men sometimes, she looks great on the show. But, of course, she does not pick her clothes there. She has a beautiful out of the ordinary figure, she could never look boring. So there is no need for extreme fashion, just well cut clothes that fit.

  87. Lila

    Christina. I too am a curvy girl with big breasts. And I am a big fan, so I consider us friends, ok? Friend to friend, you need to go up a size or 2, girl. And of course that everything will be huge on your tiny waist, so you have to get a good tailor. I am sure you can find one in Hollywood.

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