To Fugmother’s House We Go

My new theory about the Olsens is that the whole reason they stand smooshed together like a sprouting plant is that they don’t WANT us to see what they’re wearing. Well. That’s not going to stop us from trying, ladies, so you may as well detach and spin.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

Leave a reply

Comments (31):

  1. PeggyO

    Um. I like Ashley’s bag? Does that count as good?

  2. Kit

    the …Olsen sandwich will not allow itself to be consumed open-faced. = WIN

    Also, I love MK’s shoes! Ashley is unremarkable.

  3. mue

    What is each Olsen looking at?

    • anny

      The perimeter, obviously.

      I’m concerned about the strings on Swinton’s minion. Do you reckon she’s unraveling?

  4. Emily

    I wonder if the way they dress now is the result of the profoundly disturbing and inappropriate attention they received from grown men when they were approaching legal age. That kind of thing would really mess with your head, I think.

  5. Orange Clouds

    Deer in sackcloth

  6. Carol

    MK looks like she’s wearing an old curly phone cord around her lapels … the peek at the front of Ashley’s dress looks like a serious wardrobe malfunction in the early stages.

  7. Elaine

    i’m kinda obsessed with the SWINTinion’s (SWINTON + minion) scarf…

  8. Amy

    I don’t get why they always pose like this. You’d think they were Siamese twins.

    • Alle C. Hall

      I think they are just so sad and weird. Sad because they have all the money and opportunity anyone needs to be at peace with themselves, and weird because they are clearly weird. Neither of them is even interesting in their weirdness anymore – not even in their fashion choices. They just look like they want to be 47 and making charitable contributions to The Met.

  9. pantsonfire

    Since these photos only deepen the mystery of what these two are actually wearing as garments, I will just note that I like MK’s necklace and shoes and the color of her outfit. I like Ashley’s earrings. Gotta say, though I’m willing to cut them a lot of slack and I try to understand their sartorial approach, I think this all just reads messy and unkempt…not chic and artistic and creative.

  10. Carrie

    Are those tassel balls on the sides of MK’s bag too? Lord Jesus. I’m frightened, Mama!

  11. Ruth

    All those millions, and one’s wearing a garbage bag and the other one is wearing Sigfried or Roy’s casual wear.

  12. Stefanie

    I just dont get why these two (and a whole lotta others) have the ability to get and wear whatever their little hearts desire and this is what they end up looking. Just because you’ve got the world by the balls doesn’t mean you should wear the sack. Seriously.

  13. Laura

    Am I the only one who gets the Addams Family theme stuck in my head every time I see them?

  14. jmcs

    The Olsen twins always look like conjoined twins in these photos, it’s okay if they are but to pretend is creepy.

  15. mary lou bethune

    They must have had miserable childhoods wherein they had only each other.. they have said as much. At least they don’t try to look like Barbies or trollops.

  16. Candy

    I love them forever and always. They are never boring and always 100% themselves. And “Swinton’s minion” only solidifies it. Perfect.

  17. Vandalfan

    They both could use belts. Then, get them to a hairdresser, and get rid of the nice but completely inappropriate bags. Satin formal wear calls for nifty clutches, not a shapeless sack and a business like valise.

  18. jenny

    I feel like someday there’s going to be a serious expose or memoir about these ladies and it is going to be cuh-razy. There is some crazy town happening. Also that Swinton’s footmen line is gold.

  19. Peggy L.

    I would be content to just see one or both of them grin from ear to ear. Just once.

    I really don’t have the heart to pick on them, because I think they had seriously messed up lives. I’m glad they have each other.

  20. News01

    I think one of their former publicist had told them to touch each other in every photograph. İt gives the illusion that they may start kissing in a minute. Since they do not have much sex appeal, their publicist was playing to the lesbian fantasies of men…

  21. Jules

    I agree with Emily… I feel for the twins.
    I have to work behind a desk and sometimes all the unwanted attention makes me want to hide in a sack, (or wish I had a twin to hide behind,) too.
    Like today, I wore extra eyeliner and a dozen people said “Oh, you’re going to a party!”
    Like, who needs Twitter?

  22. Lily1214

    In nearly every photo they stand face to face as if they’re conjoined twins.

  23. The Fugger

    I take umbrage with slide 1. That is NOT the livery of SWINTON’s footmen, because if it were, it might actually have a chance of fitting.

    No, Heather, I believe M-K went directly to the source: That is the livery of SWINTON herself.

    Come to think of it, SWINTON might wear A’s dress as well. As a nightgown.

  24. helen

    I read “smooshed together like a pouting plant” which, to me at least, made even more sense.