The Young and the Fugless


Heather and I were just saying that we love featuring Nicholle Tom, if only because every time she pops up, we get to talk about that awesome episode of 90210 where it is discovered that she’s acting out in regards to the death of her brother Poor Dead Scott by changing her clothes every morning in the school bathroom so that she looks WHORIER, and when Brenda discovers this, she and her bodysuit are HORRIFIED.

Then I realized this is actually HEATHER Tom, Nicholle’s sister and much celebrated daytime acting artiste. Whoops! In my defense, they look a lot alike and also I picked the wrong week to stop smoking crack.

HOWEVER, I was not incorrect about the fact that her neck-flower makes it appear at first glance as though she’s got huge noise-canceling headphones slung around her neck, and in fact, I wish that’s what was going on. Because I think the idea of someone showing up to an event all, ‘Damn, it might get loud in here and I totally don’t want to  have to talk to Jack Wagner again,’ or whatever, is kind of hilarious.

That said, Ms Tom being a soap-veteran, what is probably happening is that this neck-accoutrement is holding her head on after some kind of terrible near-decapitation. Don’t you think? That’s how people roll in the daytime dramas, and bless them for it. Let’s look at the rest of her outfit:

This is marginally cute — although it needs a wee yank up and I question her shoes and bag– but the neck-thing YET AGAIN ruins the day. That, plus the ruffles, makes her look as though she’s angling for a role in a remake of the seminal (and crappy) 80s sitcom about the GLAMOROUS lives of cocktail waitresses, It’s A Living. See what I mean?

So many kicky/awkward chokers! All she needs is a wise-cracking pianist and we’re good to go. It’s a Living, by the way, was responsible for the fact that I and several of my childhood sidekicks REALLY wanted to become cocktail waitresses. And while serving drinks to people is seriously doing the Lord’s work much of the time, I suspect my mother was relieved when I decided I would rather be Wonder Woman. She at least had an invisible plane. So maybe this just means that Heather Tom will arrive at her next event with a Lasso of Truth in hand. That might be useful.
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