The Hunger Fugs

So, between Kristen Wiig and Jennifer Morrison and then Kaley Cuoco and now this, I really do think the topknot and I are having a feud.

I just don’t think it’s WORKING on anyone. Of course, in this case, it doesn’t help that Leven is barely the legal drinking age and yet she’s clad in the fusty nightie of a much older socialite, who keeps her husband’s taxidermied body in her bedroom for occasional hugs, once stabbed her butler with a shrimp fork, and never met a gin bottle she didn’t noisily befriend.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (26):

  1. PeggyO

    You are not wrong. The topknot looks good on NO ONE and must die, die, die. We need to form the hair equivalent of the CDC, track down the hairdresser of origin on this look and eliminate them.

    • Anne B

      I can start looking for the Index Hardresser Client out here in CA, but something tells me you’ll find that jerk in a corps de ballet. And there are clearly more of those in NYC.

      Can I get some follicular backup in the Big Apple?

  2. Gigi

    Sometimes the topknot works – really! But not this time.

  3. Sajorina

    The topknot only work on ballerinas! And, this dress looks like her greatgrandmother’s grandmother’s wedding dress! Her boobs appear to be 2″ above her navel, the sleeves completely cover her hands and the length is so wrong that she’s even trying to raise it up a few inches! It looks awkward!

  4. Sherpa

    What happened to her hands? It looks like she dipped in to Grandma’s dress-up box.

  5. Kit

    Wow. That dress is so, so, bad.

    And I agree with your topknot feud. There’s a girl I work with who ALWAYS wears one (or a version of one) and since she has a long, narrow face it just makes her look like a Conehead. She generally looks pretty cute so I can mostly forgive her the topnot, but yesterday she was wearing an extremely odd (not “charmingly eccentric” odd but “whack on crack” odd) ensemble and consequently, I found her topnot even MORE annoying.

    /stream of consciousness ramble

  6. Erin

    My mom used to put my hair in whatever the 90′s version of a top knot was when I was in first grade. A kid on the bus called me “weiner head”.

    He wasn’t wrong.

  7. Mockingbird

    Topknots are by definition evil and come from the devil. Whatever army you’re forming to fight against them, I want to be part of it.

  8. Susannah

    Maybe the topknot ate her hands?

  9. SaraK

    Aww, topknots aren’t always bad. I put my hair in a topknot every single morning. And then once I’m done washing my face I take it out and brush and style my hair into something that is presentable outside the house.

    Also this trend of white macrame-ish musty-looking dresses must die. Dear Jennifer Morrison, Lea Michele, and now Leven, please note: Miss Havisham is not a role model or a style icon.

  10. gin_in_teacups

    Who is this person?

    • Heather

      Ex-soap actress when she was a teen (played Jack Montgomery’s autistic daughter on AMC), guested on Grey’s as McSteamy’s daughter, playing Glimmer in “Hunger Games,” etc.

  11. Billie

    The top knot is the least of her problems. Why is she wearing a dress tailored to the likes of someone as tall as Nicole Kidman? This fit is just awful … never mind the dress being ugly.

  12. Lizzie

    The topknot is my house hair (for cleaning, studying, napping etc.) so it kind of baffles me that it’s being used for formal events…

    Then again, when I lived in Japan a lot of the girls there seemed to pull it off very well.

    The dress…
    I feel like I can smell the mustiness of it

  13. themis

    They are all sock buns! Someone’s stylist saw that viral video by the girl who demonstrates the sock bun and became convinced it was the red carpet solution they were looking for. To me, though, it looks like they all got out of the chair after the ‘makeup’ part of ‘hair & makeup’ and completely forgot to do the ‘hair’ half.

  14. Aria

    I think the topknot works sometimes, but def not working here. None of this is working. She doesn’t even look like herself but some version of herself 30 years down the road. Not good.

  15. Anne B

    The only instance in which most of us should attempt this hairdo is when we’re going to bed and are doing The Sock Bun method for next-day curls.

    That’s a thing, yes. Video here (it’s long):

    But as a red-carpet look, nooooo. I want to run up to this girl, undo that bun and run away — just to get a look at the curls.

  16. Sandra

    How did she not notice that this dress is so enormously too large for her? She could have had it tailored if she just had to wear it.

  17. Bam Bam

    You are all mistaken about the top knot. It did work once. It worked on that one dancer-rollerskating-muse in Xanadu. The black muse.

  18. witjunkie

    I am as eager to do my part, take up arms and do battle alongside you as is sweet William the footman. And, most ballerinas have the bun at the crown or below. Not On TOP.

  19. Megan

    Top knots can work & well – its all about your bone structure

  20. Lily1214

    Definitely, definitely mother-of-the-bride and too old for her. Top knot’s okay, actually.

  21. Ruby

    Top knots can work, on long lean giants like Whitney Port. And only as a casual day look, with little or no make up and big sunnies. NEVER on the red carpet. It looks like lazy person hair.