I am a girl who loves sports, and talks a ton about sports, and gets irritated every time the more idiotic ESPN radio hosts (not you, Scott Van Pelt; you and I are all right) yap about women who don’t let their men watch The Big Game and/or state that their shows are for “guys who love sports and want to talk sports,” as if we are in Olden Times. So I promise you — because I know someone is going to say it — this post is NOT secretly maligning female sideline reporters. It is just maligning pants. Specifically, these pants:

I really hate these pants. The rise is unflattering, they’re at least a size too small, and they are mangling what the gene pool gave her. Please note, I am absolutely NOT saying Erin needs to wear a muumuu when she’s on the sidelines — any grown-ass people who lack the coping skills to control themselves or their mouths or their eyeballs around someone of the opposite sex who is wearing anything remotely snug therefore have problems that are above my pay grade — but seriously, these give her a full frontal wedgie. That’s not camel toe; it’s camel foot surgery.  Two words: OUCH.

[Photos: Splash News]