I’m curious, Raven.

What will this be? Is it going to be a triumph of casual-meets-fancy, like when Sharon Stone wore those Gap shirts to the Oscars 1996 and 1998? Or will it be dangerously insane, like when Sharon Stone wore those Gap shirts to the Oscars in 1996 and 1998? (Hey, for all I know, you hated it when she did that.) Turn around, Raven. Let’s settle this.

Oh.

… Might you be wearing it backwards? Because otherwise you kind of look like Scarlett O’Hara’s saucier cousin, Mustard McBoobs, who prefers to implant sexy ideas into her suitors’ heads by making all her clothes from bedlinens, then makes sure to leave her porch lights shining just in case — like, they might miss the point, or have trouble finding parking.