Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Tyra Banks


So, my early prediction is this: There will be a photo shoot on this fall’s America’s Next Top Model All “Stars” Edition that very conveniently dovetails with the publication of Tyra’s young adult novel, Modelland (the excerpt of which reads like the His Dark Materials books if they sniffed glue and had an orgy with Gossip Girl and The Hunger Games). In fact, it may already be going on:

Not long before wearing this, TyTy showed up on GMA wearing a “smize” (smile with your eyes) over her eye — or at least, that’s what we’re told it was, and that makes sense to us, because it paradoxically makes so LITTLE sense (how can one wear an eye-smile OVER one’s eye?). And then she lubed up and poured herself into this jumpsuit that makes her boobs look like they have a very angry blonde unibrow. With, if I’m not mistaken, matching polish on all twenty of her nails. This bodes BRILLIANTLY for this season of ANTM – remember the cycle on which she wore only jumpsuits? –  but frightens me outside the inane confines of the judging room. And I suspect I’m not the only one:

Sean Kingston is like, “God DAMN, I JUST lived through a massive jet ski crash, and now I’m almost stabbed by a supermodel with a superhero complex? Did I sleep with the universe’s sister or something?”

[Photos: Getty and Splash]

 

 

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Comments (22):

  1. TonyG
    0

    Yellow unibrow! Love it. But, I must add, she is wearing the hell out of this leather jumpsuit. That is, it’s not wearing her. Those curves would cause many a car wreck.

  2. Stefanie
    0

    Oh Tyra..Ty Ty..Ty Ty Baby…you and your body are better than this wanna-be Cat Woman suit.

  3. linda
    0

    “angry blond unibrow”

    That’s going to have me chuckling all day.

  4. Sherri
    0

    I am waiting on that book. So Much am I waiting.

  5. Lina
    0

    She’s selling that jumpsuit. What she isn’t selling is the hair, which I keep wanting to photoshop into something that actually flatters her face and balances the scale of her curves. As it is, it just makes her face look really teensy-small while making her hips look needlessly wide. Long/big hair is a pain, yes, but it has its purpose!

  6. Chasmosaur
    0

    Yeah I have to agree with @TonyG and @Lina – there are not many people who could sell that jumpsuit, but she’s doing it.

    Otherwise – I kinda think if it were a dress instead of a jumpsuit, it wouldn’t be a total atrocity.

  7. TaraMisu
    0

    Ehhhhhhh I’m not sold on the jumpsuit…. although I have to agree that she looks better in it than (pretty much) anyone else would.

  8. vandalfan
    0

    She is acting out the part of her book (or it’s sequel) just before the supermodel slips on her scuba tanks and mask and swim fins to rally all sea mammals to help thwart the space aliens from evil schemes of world domination.

  9. Rebecca
    0

    I don’t care for the jumpsuit. And I really hate the hair. I like how the first picture she’s all “What did that b* just say to me?” and then the 2nd picture she’s channeling Oprah.

    This whole thing is just the tiniest bit desperate. Of course, that’s how I feel about most of her activities.

  10. Francesca
    0

    Living in a beach town, I can’t help but think I’m looking at the first strapless wetsuit. I want to put a surfboard under her arm and send her off to hang ten.

  11. Christopher G
    0

    Yes Francesca… that’s it exactly, it looks like Batgirl’s wetsuit – and as such really just needs a cape (NO CAPES!)

  12. Dina
    0

    Manila Luzon wore a verrrrry similar jumpsuit, and better, on RuPaul’s Drag Race:

    http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6139/6023427766_ec5d82c5da_b.jpg

    And when a (undeniably adorable) drag queen wears your outfit better than you, it’s time to find a new outfit, TyTy.

  13. Sue
    0

    This is fugh. A combination of Fug and Ugh. As someone else said, it looks desperate. She reminds me of the woman who’s been going to the same dance club or bar since her early twenties and is still there at 35. She may look good (Tyra’s body is slammin), but just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD. To make it worse, wearing this to an event centered on teens is just….odd.

  14. Kris
    0

    Does anyone remember George Takei’s audition video for “Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark”? My theory is that Tyra’s trying something similar, only with Batman – she wants to displace Anne Hathaway as Catwoman.

  15. Claire L
    0

    We already know she’s got a great body ( though I don’t think this jumpsuit does it any favors)…she doesn’t need to sell it that hard.

  16. jenny dayco
    0

    Tyra Banks is wearing my silver cuff bracelet in these photos! Check out my jewelry online at http://www.jennydayco.com!

  17. Penny
    0

    I am astounded that anyone at all likes this jumpsuit, and would very much like to see Andre Leon Talley’s reaction to any and everything Tyrant’s been wearing lately. My money’s on Tyra as the next celebrity to be diagnosed as bipolar.

  18. Penny
    0

    Sorry. I don’t necessarily take the comment back but I would really really like to rephrase it. Huge apologies. GFY Girls – if you can delete my comment please do.

  19. Chris
    0

    Dina: OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT JUMPSUIT.

    To be fair, at this point Tyra is practically doing her own drag queen impersonation, so wearing something that a drag queen cobbled together out of duct tape, body glitter, and the bitchery of 12 other drag queens isn’t completely unexpected.

    (Speaking of THE TYRA BOOK, I am still floored by the excerpt. Clearly, TyTy spent most of her time in the Bulwer-Lytton section of the library. And yet…I still want MOAR.

  20. jean
    0

    Okay, I don’t especially LIKE it, but this is the Teen Choice awards. Where else is she gonna break out the catsuit? Also, she looks a lot more badass than those sweet little teen things. I’ll take a badass at an awards show over sweet. Unless it’s Hailee or Dakota or Elle. They can stay sweet.

  21. Halo
    0

    The jumpsuit should be horrible, but I think it showcases Tyra’s figure so well that I’m giving it a pass.

  22. misscook
    0

    but…what about her hair?!?!??!