Fug File: Vogue

Fug the Cover: Rooney Mara


Who had Mara in the 2013 Vogue cover pool? Everyone, check your ballots! (Next year, I’m going to figure out how to make handicapping Vogue covers a contest; it looks like, so far, Fug National Emma is the only one who called Rooney.)

Leaving aside the fact that she is wearing a fishing net — it’s Vogue, and sometimes nets are worn! Even I realize that these are things that happen — can we just talk about how apparently the Powers That Be had a whole conversation about how consumption is totally hot for spring? Everyone, throw out your smoky eye palate and get out your feverish one!

[Cover: Vogue.com]

 

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Predict The Cover: Vogue, 2013


Last year (I think?), we had an entire impromptu discussion predicting who would be on the cover of Vogue in the next year. It was fun. But I thought it would be MORE fun if we took a look back at last year’s covers (and this January’s), and then officially predicted who we thought would land them in 2013.  Then, at the end of 2013, we can take a look back and officially see how we did. Things to bear in mind as you make your predictions: who has a movie coming out, the fact that there’s going to be a terrible “Shape” issue (so that cover might be an outlier), and the people Anna can not resist. For example, I feel like Carey Mulligan is totally getting a cover tied into the Great Gatsby premiere in May. So, let’s take a look at Vogue‘s cover fugs and fabs of 2012, and then hit the comments to make your predictions.

My own predictions? In no particular order: GWEN STEFANI (a gimmee, since hers is out already); the aforementioned Mulligan;  Jennifer Lawrence; Chastain (she feels due for one);  either Michelle Williams or Rachel Weisz in PR for The Great and Powerful Oz; Amy Adams for Man of Steel; they’re going to toss one to Claire Danes when Homeland comes back and be all, “new baby! hit show!”; Beyonce (she has an album coming out, and is also Beyonce); Emma Watson; Naomi Watts (no way is Anna going to be able to resist talking about Diana); Kate Winslet, who also has a movie coming out (Labor Day, which sounds like the newest Gary Marshall 100-Celebs-in-a-Holiday-Movie disaster, but which is allegedly a drama); Gaga again (just because0; and, finally…..this is hard. I’m going to close out with Kiki Dunst, which is very unlikely, but I love her so….let’s just see what happens.

What do you think?

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Fug the Cover: Anne Hathaway on Vogue


Frankly, I’d rather read “Katie Holmes: Her Second Act.” Except isn’t it her third act? Or is Vogue discounting the Dawson’s-to-Cruise years as mere prologue? For shame, A-Dubs.

[Photos: Vogue]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Rihanna


This is the first time in a long time that I’ve looked at Vogue and thought the cover was compelling. The “I Love to Have Fun” pull-quote feels like it ought to be on the cover of Seventeen, but Rihanna is killing it in that dress and — as Tyra would say — she has mastered the art of the smize. In fact, I assume Tyra is reading this issue at home (eating nachos and wearing a caftan, because in my imagination that is how Tyra rolls off-hours) and talking about smizing RIGHT NOW.

But what do YOU think?

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[Photo: Vogue.com]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Keira Knightley


I just never think of Vogue as trying to target people who want to make their tendinitis sexy. … Wait, hang on, that might be exactly what Vogue‘s target demo is. Never mind.

Do you love it?

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[Photos: Vogue]

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Well Played Cover: Lady Gaga


You guys may think I’m insane for this, but I have to say, this is super effective for me.

I know we get cranky about covers where the subjects don’t really look recognizably themselves, but here’s why I think that’s an asset here: 1) We’ve gotten to the point where who the hell KNOWS or REMEMBERS what Lady Gaga even looks like anymore; 2) I have complete and total Gaga fatigue, and I don’t think I’m alone in that; 3) seeing her on this cover made me interested instead of eye-rolly, because the silhouette is so striking, the color is majestic, and I don’t think I’ve seen her like this in a long time. I practically forgot she even HAD a face. It makes me faintly curious about her again, which I never thought would happen, and that is about the only way you’re likely to get me to pick up a five-pound magazine and bring it home. Sure, it hasn’t WORKED — the odds of me actually doing that are slimmer than her waist in this picture; I only barely have patience for free weights in the gym, and I have enough doorstops — but they got me about as close as I was going to get, by convincing me maybe there was something to see in here that I hadn’t already looked at a thousand times. Mission accomplished, I think.

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