Fug File: Vogue

Fug the Cover: Kate Winslet on Vogue

I am pretty excited that I predicted this in our annual Vogue Predict The Cover:

But do I — or any of us — really get those points when the actor in question looks nigh-unrecognizable? Additionally, this poor blonde woman, whomever she may be, appears to have been living in a wind tunnel for at least five years. Should any of us truly benefit when there are such horrors at hand? As a sidebar, I find it hard to believe that no one at Vogue pointed that when the only celebrity names on your cover are Kate Winslet, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Matthew McConaughey, you are perhaps in danger of being accused of no longer having your finger on the pulse of Hollywood (no disrespect to McConaughey, who has been having an interesting couple of years in terms of the roles he takes. All disrespect to the person who decided that 2013 was a great time to make a Sex and the City reference on the cover of Vogue. Poor SJP must have seen that and just groaned). All that being said, I do hold out hope that “Power Python for the Office” is a how-to on bringing your snake to work.

[Cover: Vogue]


Fugs and Fabs the Cover: Various International Vogues

Let’s take a look at some Vogues Of The World over the last couple of months. Some of them are glorious and some of them are hideous and that’s how the world goes round.


Fug or Fab The Cover: Sandra Bullock on Vogue

At least two of you predicted that Sandy Bullock here was going to land a cover for Gravity:

[Cover: Vogue.com]

My feelings on this cover are so mixed. For one thing, I love that Vogue has a 49-year-old woman on the cover; it doesn’t happen often enough, despite the fact that the 49-year-old women of the world are more likely to be the women who can actually afford that promised perfect fall wardrobe. I love this sea-foam-green-meets-Tiffanys-blue color, and I dig the sort of 60s thing they’re doing on her, especially because it feels like a smart wink to the fact that she’s in a movie that’s about, at least in part, the space program. I love Sandra Bullock in general, and I think her face has a lot of feeling in this photo (thanks perhaps to the fact that she doesn’t have, as the cover frets, an “overinjected face.” I hope the cure for that is just one sentence: “stop getting injections, dumb-ass, and go outside for a little while.”). The whole thing is striking.

On the “con” side of the pro/con equation: that hair. I get it, but I don’t know if I like it.

What do you think?

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Fug or Fab The Covers: Victoria Beckham’s September/August Issues

I love seeing what international magazines are doing with their covers. I live close to a huge newsstand, and sometimes when I walk past it on the way to eat fried chicken sandwiches at the place down the street with the good fried chicken sandwiches, I end up standing there for nigh on twenty minutes, just looking at Russian Elle or Japanese Vogue or Brazilian Harper’s Bazaar.  Our Posh landed TWO September covers, one on Australian Vogue and the other one Harper’s Bazaar Singapore, and she was on the cover of Vogue China. Behold!



Fug or Fab the Cover: Jennifer Lawrence

First of all, I love her — and the inside spread looks fantastic. It totally hits my soft spot for preppy ’80s Ralph Lauren/Calvin Klein America luxury fall sportswear. COATS. COATS AND PUPPIES. Yes, I DO want to wear a fabulous coat and sport voluminous hair and walk through changing fall leaves, Vogue! On this one, you are right!

But did they get the cover right?

I’m never really a fan of the Slightly Open Mouth Thing — on anyone. It feels a little mouth-breather-y, even when the person in question is smart and fabulous. It just always reminds me of Jessica Simpson. That being said, her eyes are great here — not a dead eye to be seen — and I like her makeup and hair. I also am, I must admit, DYING to see what Vogue thinks is the wedding of the year. You guys know how I feel about society weddings: FASCINATED. I’m also amused by how doubtful Vogue is about the concept that you could get a better body in under ten minutes. I’m also doubtful, but if it works — and doesn’t require my being strapped into a $1,500 machine — then consider me sold.

What do you think about the cover? I fear that if I didn’t like her so much, I wouldn’t like it so much.

[Speaking of getting it right: Jessica, and many of you, correctly guessed this in our cover predictions post. You win ETERNAL HAPPINESS. I hope. -H]


Well Played Cover, Claire Danes

I called this one (did you?)! I’m so proud. I even knew they’d mention the baby. I will give myself a cookie as a reward. Now, let’s talk about this cover. I am a bit torn; the trench is WAY TOO HOT for August, but it’s also thematic given that we always think of the CIA/FBI wearing a trench, and I guess it’s time for us to talk about fall clothes already? Ugh, Vogue, I can’t. It’s too hot.  Although, I love trenches, and this one is beautiful. Additionally, I need to read about the facelift of the future AND how to keep from shrinking (I assume step one is not to marry one of The Twits) AND I probably need to make fun of the article that’s going to treat Brooklyn like it’s, I don’t know, the depths of Peru so exotic it is! And who doesn’t want to see lots of Damian Lewis? So I’m giving this one a tentative thumbs up, even though I hate her makeup and think it makes her look a tad bit like she’s running a fever. Or maybe she’s just really hot in that trench.

[Photo: Vogue]