Fug File: velvet

What the Fug: Noomi Rapace


I have serious concerns about Noomi’s taste in suiting.

Noomi Rapace attends 'The Drop' premiere during 62nd San Sebastian International Film Festival at the Kursaal Palace in San Sebastian, Spain

 

This feels like someone at Virgin Atlantic made a push for more festive winter flight-attendant uniforms, and everyone wearing them is overheated and generally Over It and wants you to stop ordering complicated drinks, Sally, because one woman’s splash of Bloody Mary mix is another woman’s avalanche.

Her other ensemble was at least better:

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Connie Britton


I can’t. I’m sorry. I know we love her hair, and her Tami-ness, but she looks like a sofa.

A very ELEGANT sofa, sure — an ornate fainting couch, mayhap, onto which countless royal behinds have swooned upon learning of juicy family trysts with commoners and/or Vegas testicular shenanigans — but nonetheless something to put your bum ON, not in. And, I’m sorry. I tried “on which to put your bum, not in which to put it,” but it was too clunky, so I used the damn preposition to end the sentence with. Zing. This dress has beaten into submission my inner grammarian, which is now in need of its own fainting couch. Maybe Connie can bring this over when she’s finished.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Katie Holmes


Either Katie Holmes grew out this hair while she was plotting her escape from Cruiselandia and I just didn’t notice, or she’s added some extensions.

Either way, it looks nice and healthy, but I’m wondering if perhaps she’s not used to it all because every photo I found of her looked like this:

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Twilight: Fugging Dawn


I don’t even know what to say about this:

Every time I look at it, I giggle. It’s a velvet suit — excuse me. It’s a CRUSHED VELVET SUIT.  A RED CRUSHED VELVET SUIT. It’s like someone told Jackson Rathbone that he was going to a costume party where everyone was supposed to dress like an Interview With the Vampire megafan, rather than to the premiere of the movie in which HE HIMSELF plays a vampire (albeit complete with hideous wig and scatter-shot accent). In the 90s. And that everyone’s costume had to be constructed solely from remnants scavenged from the costume closet on Melrose Place between October and February, 1994. He would totally win THAT costume contest.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug and Fabbish? Ryan Gosling


Um, can we talk about what’s going on with Ryan Gosling? I was never that hot for him — except, obviously, in The Notebook, and also, kind of, secretly, during commercials for that new movie he’s in with Emma Stone, who is helpfully sporting the red hair in itbut I know that many, many, many MANY of you would disagree with that assessment. And so I’m worried for you, because I feel like for those of you who ARE hot for him, this might be the equivalent of  how I would feel if Jon Hamm showed up somewhere in a leisure suit.

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The Fugighter


Note to Melissa Leo:

It’s too late to somehow ALSO  talk people into taking you into consideration for an Oscar for True Grit. That outfit isn’t going to do anything. Just so you know.

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