Fug File: Twilight

Fuglight: New Moon

So, when you’re Cameron Bright, a.k.a. “that guy who was in one of the Twilight movies one time,” you are kind of near the end of a very long list that includes R.Pattz, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Yutz — whoops, I mean Lutz, obviously — and Peter Facinelli, and that Jackson Rathbone person, and all those werewolves, and then all those other Italian vampires whose eyes are all red and hungry, and Bella’s dad, and, like, Third Local Yokel On The Left… it’s hard work differentiating yourself. So what’s a lad to do?

Be “that guy who was in one of the Twilight movies one time and then turned his feet into a portable zoo.” As if the shirt that looks like Mickey Mouse’s bloodstained hands making a pistol gesture weren’t enough. Good luck to you, kid. Apparently you’re also “that kid who was in that X-Men prequel,” and that’s a pretty long ladder to climb too. Hope your shoes don’t get caught in the rungs.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]


Fugging Dawn

The caption for this photo generously referred to it as a flirty summer play suit.

I call it “pajamas.”

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]


Hilariously Played, Robert Pattinson’s Hair

Poor R Pattz can’t get a break in terms of his hair. He spent most of the Twilight movies running around looking like Edward hadn’t washed his hair since he was a mortal, and now he has to promote Breaking “Crazy Sex Scene, Weird Baby Stories” Dawn like THIS.


Fug or Fine: Kristen Stewart

So here’s the thing: If you had to choose between Kristen Stewart in a fancy dress and sneakers, as has been her wont…

Kristen Stewart

… or Kristen Stewart on laundry day in fancy shoes that might be on the verge of snapping her feet in two, which would you prefer?

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MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Nikki Reed

Happy surprise engagement, Nikki Reed and Dude From American Idol!

That People article includes a quote from her saying, “I love him and I don’t care,” because nothing says, “this marriage is a great idea” like being defensive to People — or, I guess, to people in general. And, likewise, nothing says, “I am DELIRIOUS WITH LUST and THUS PERHAPS SLIGHTLY INCAPABLE OF USING GOOD JUDGEMENT” like layering a black window sheer over what may or may not be short shorts. On the other hand, it’s also true that nothing says, “I actually really DO love this person” like agreeing to shackle yourself for all eternity to a man who wears bolo ties, so maybe these two crazy kids have a real shot at making this work.


MTV Movie Awards Well Played: Kristen Stewart

Well, if you are a starlet in Hollywood who wants to wear a sparkly micro-mini, you will have to get to it through Kristen Stewart. She is a junkie for them. Finding this Balmain must have been like accidentally stealing someone’s pants and then — oops — discovering a bump of coke in them. Although that would obviously never happen in real life. The close-up of this dress is even cooler — kind of like Elizabeth Hurley’s iconic safety-pin gown, but without the cleavage, nor the desperation. She’s like a giant pincushion. Come see.