Fug File: Twilight

Fug or Fine: Kristen Stewart

So here’s the thing: If you had to choose between Kristen Stewart in a fancy dress and sneakers, as has been her wont…

Kristen Stewart

… or Kristen Stewart on laundry day in fancy shoes that might be on the verge of snapping her feet in two, which would you prefer?

Loading ... Loading ...

MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Nikki Reed

Happy surprise engagement, Nikki Reed and Dude From American Idol!

That People article includes a quote from her saying, “I love him and I don’t care,” because nothing says, “this marriage is a great idea” like being defensive to People — or, I guess, to people in general. And, likewise, nothing says, “I am DELIRIOUS WITH LUST and THUS PERHAPS SLIGHTLY INCAPABLE OF USING GOOD JUDGEMENT” like layering a black window sheer over what may or may not be short shorts. On the other hand, it’s also true that nothing says, “I actually really DO love this person” like agreeing to shackle yourself for all eternity to a man who wears bolo ties, so maybe these two crazy kids have a real shot at making this work.


MTV Movie Awards Well Played: Kristen Stewart

Well, if you are a starlet in Hollywood who wants to wear a sparkly micro-mini, you will have to get to it through Kristen Stewart. She is a junkie for them. Finding this Balmain must have been like accidentally stealing someone’s pants and then — oops — discovering a bump of coke in them. Although that would obviously never happen in real life. The close-up of this dress is even cooler — kind of like Elizabeth Hurley’s iconic safety-pin gown, but without the cleavage, nor the desperation. She’s like a giant pincushion. Come see.


Twilight: Fugclipse

Dear Nikki Reed,

With all due respect — and all that phrase entails, AHEM — this look is like the visual definition of SHE DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH. You’re not Kristen Stewart: the Urban Outfitters-branded anti-paparazzi-riot-gear ain’t necessarily. Need proof? I just wrote this entire post referring to you Ashley Greene and only caught my mistake at the very last minute. In fact, I’m still not convinced you’re NOT Ashley Greene. Double In Fact: I DON’T EVEN THINK I KNOW WHAT YOUR FACE EVEN LOOKS LIKE.

Ergo: take off the disguise and remind the gossip bloggers what you look like, honey.



I have a lot of questions about Kellan Lutz.

The first of which is: Really?

[Photo: WENN.com]


People’s Choice Awards Well Played: Kristen Stewart

KRISTEN STEWART: Oh, God. Our category is coming up next.

ROBERT PATTINSON: Is it reeeeeally?

KRISTEN: Please don’t let us win best movie. Please. COME ON, INCEPTION.


KRISTEN: We’re up for Best Onscreen Team, too, right? I mean, that’s totally Steve Carell and Tina Fey from Date Night, hey? We aren’t even a team! We are more of… an autonomous collective.

R.PATTZ: Really!

KRISTEN: I’m going to be sick.

R.PATTZ: Ew, really?

KRISTEN: Will you stop acting like a moron?

R.PATTZ: Sorry. I just can’t believe you still can’t handle going up on stage for this stuff. We’ve only won eleventy billion of these things. And you look so nice tonight!

KRISTEN: Really?

R.PATTZ: Don’t steal my bit.


R.PATTZ: But you do. So let’s take a look. Beginning with dragging you up on stage.

KRISTEN: No. No, no, NO!

R.PATTZ: Yes, yes, yes.


Fug the Cover: Kristen Stewart

This particular publication came out last week. And in those past seven days, I sincerely hope that KStew’s legal team has explored all their options vis a vis her suing them for the pain and suffering that must have resulted from seeing that they chose to publish THIS PICTURE of her. If they’re still wondering why the long face, I suspect the answer is, “Because you decided to go with a photo of her wherein she looks stoned, greasy, and suffering from severe curvature of the spine.” DUH.