Fug File: Teen Choice Awards

Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Ashley Benson

Often, my favorite red carpet photos are the ones where the subject is caught in transition.

This one says, “I’ve made a huge mistake.” I call it Pensive Starlet, Wearing Her Junk Drawer.

Let’s see if a sultry smile sells it:

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Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Selena Gomez

Is splitting your seams the new thing now?

This seriously looks like someone sewed a sheath to her as tightly as possible and then told her to do jumping jacks, and wherever it tore, that was the design. What a waste of a great color and good head-styling. And also of perfectly good jumping jacks.

[Photo: Getty]


Teen Choice Awards Well Played: Lea Michele

Well, this had to be the ultimate bittersweet night for Lea Michele. She won for best actress in a comedy, and Glee won, and it was her first public appearance since Cory Monteith died, and… it is so hard to face doing something, knowing exactly what everyone will be thinking and wanting to ask, and suspecting you will cry your way through the night.

But Lea looked gorgeous — that dress is extremely cute — and in fact the other two ladies behind her look nice also (I wonder if the three of them intentionally color-coordinated)(and then there’s Kevin McHale, whose shorts with socks/tights/whatever I can’t even talk about right now but suffice to say unless Cory Monteith once told him, “BELIEVE IN THE SHORTS, DUDE,” then I really don’t get why he couldn’t just wear freaking pants). Lea has worn a lot of that darker bright pink before; perhaps it’s like her sartorial Happy Place. Good for her for pulling it together, making a classy tribute to her boyfriend, and doing him and herself proud. What they’re doing at work right now must be unimaginably hard, and I’m glad they get to show up today feeling like everything they did with Cory really was appreciated.

I don’t have anything funny or snarky to add. Sometimes you just have to hug it out, not fug it out.

[Photo: Getty]


Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Jordin Sparks

Did this shrink?

Because she kind of looks like one of the water girls at Auntie Meryl’s Down-Home Square Dancin’ Show and Rodeo, except that all of the other girls are twelve.

[Photo: Getty]


Teen Choice Awards: Resoundingly Fine-ly Played, Zooey and Selena

SELENA: Hey, Zooey.

ZOOEY: What’s up, buttercup? You look pretty, in that kind of ‘cheerleader going to her spring dance’ kind of way.

SELENA: Is that a bad thing?

ZOOEY: Only if you accidentally break into some high kicks, Tricks.

SELENA: Well, YOU look… fine, actually. That dress is nice. And your hair looks less fake. And no tights!

ZOOEY: That was the plan, Stan. It’s time for some bare legs, scrambled eggs!

SELENA: Why are you rhyming?

ZOOEY: Does that not seem like something I would do, little boo?

SELENA: I don’t know, but it’s sort of creepy. Can you stop?

ZOOEY: Sure. Maybe instead we’ll just stand here and talk about whether Justin Bieber is a sensitive lover.

SELENA: Ugh, never mind, go back to the rhymes.

ZOOEY: Yeah, that’s what I thought, fembot.

[Photos: Getty]


Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fine (Or Fab, I Guess): Taylor Swift

So, Taylor seems to be veering back away from slicked-down bangs and bright colors.

So this is fine and all, but yet again, it feels like something I’ve seen from her a hundred times before. Or maybe it’s because these flesh-toned side-paneled Maria Lucia Hohan dresses have been making the rounds so much that they all start to feel identical. Also, can we say again what a wasted shoe opportunity this was? Your dress is WHITE. You can put ANY cheerful color down there and it’d only improve the situation. So what does she do? Nude. She’s actually MATCHING THE SHOE to the side panels. This is about the most snoozey choice she could have made. Taylor! You are a graceful and tall and lovely creature. DO NOT BE A WALKING NAP.

This also lost me a bit in the back:

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