Fug File: Teen Choice Awards
[Photos: AKM/GSI, Getty, Splash]
Let’s just leave aside the fact that her facial expression is unimpressed — although I am impressed with her eyebrows:
There is a lot about this that could have gone wrong: so many patterns, so many potentially rogue sheer patches, so much — as a friend of mine used to say — of a muchness. This dress is like a Jell-O salad: if everything goes well, it’s both visually stimulating and surprisingly good, but if things go awry, you’re just disgusted at what a crazy mess it is. Lucky, this thing set up beautifully overnight and I, for one, am delighted. I will have seconds, thank you very much.
“Hello. Mama Shailene again.”
“When you’re done at the sweat lodge, come on outside and bake your labia like a clay pot in the kiln that is sunshine. I’ll be over here finding you some blankets to turn into vestments.”