Fug File: super(and unsuper)models

Fugs and Fabs: Gigi Hadid


Gigi here is in Paris, working the couture shows, and she has been out and about looking alternately crazy, and great, and sometimes great when she ought to look crazy. Which is the magic of being, like, 22 years old and a model.

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WTF: Adriana Lima in Alix


Yes. It’s a jumpsuit.

IWC Schaffhausen at SIHH 2016 - "Come Fly With Us" Gala Dinner

WITH SIDE SLITS. From this angle, it looks like the aftermath of a mugging…

IWC Schaffhausen at SIHH 2016 - "Come Fly With Us" Gala Dinner

But then here you see that they’re just FULLY OPEN. So, I repeat, they’re pants, but only on the inside. Does that make it a bizarro skirt? Or just like each leg is wearing its own dress? What… does any of this MEAN? I don’t know whether to call it a jumpslit, a jumpshit, or just an abomination.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Art of Elysium Fug Carpet: Amber Valletta


I have not given much thought to Amber Valletta in my life, except for that brief period in which she looked a lot like Michelle Pfeiffer, and how she looks kind of like Taylor Schilling. But she has put together a solid run of WTFery lately, including this photo (that wasn’t in our subscription) of her CRAZY party outfit, and now this:

amber valletta

Granted, she is not the only one at this party who pulled out some crazy. JUST YOU WAIT. Also, I only juut noticed that her feet are blurry in this picture, which is REALLY unsettling, but it’s too late — I already downloaded it. ANYWAY: I realized that I would be perfectly happy to own this dress in umbrella form. A shiny gold umbrella with see-through bits would work for me just fine. But I don’t have much interest in seeing a person walk around that way.

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug or Fab: Karlie Kloss in Rosie Assoulin


I think it’s possible I am just not generally responsive to Rosie Assoulin. I know a LOT of people are really into her, especially when she plays with volume, but I feel like nine times out of ten I’m either on the fence or just fully out on her designs.

This one is a fence-dweller:

karlie kloss l'oreal paris

Conceptually it’s interesting, but not necessarily also attractive. The cutout on her shoulder makes her look like she’s bulging right there. And the flower on her legs might’ve been cuter or more impactful if it were revealing a bright backing color, like hot pink or turquoise, rather than just her legs. Her knee poking through there is really distracting. Not that there is anything wrong with her knee — I’m sure it’s very friendly — but it gives the impression of peeking through prison bars, which isn’t the vibe people generally associate with the red carpet unless said carpet is at a prison talent show.

[Photo: Getty]

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British Fashion Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Models


Can ANY of them live up to Naomi Campbell? Click through and FIND OUT. (Spoiler: No.)

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show


Get ready for the usual cacophony of crazy from your favorite purveyor of mass market cotton undies. Where are the giant, bedazzled wings at MY local Victoria’s Secret, I ask you? When I go in for tee-shirt bras, I at least want the option of leaving with a flammable butterfly cape, a set of strap-on portable fireworks, or a pair of fireman pants.

(PS: If you are at work, and your boss is the sort of person who might be irritated to walk into your office and find you looking at pictures of models in extremely impractical knickers…a word to the wise.)

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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CFDA Fashion Fund Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Models


When Anna is hosting, the models appear.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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