Fug File: super(and unsuper)models

Fugs and Fabs: Models at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner


It will be fun to contrast this to the inevitable “Models at the Met” post that’ll come your way Tuesday.

[Photos: Getty]

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What the Fug: Tyra Banks


Tyra has been off the radar a bit lately, after welcoming a baby via surrogate and quitting her disastrous daytime show The Fab Life. But lest you think any of this has changed her forever:

Tyra Banks

Nope. Her outfits still make as little sense as ever. And thank God for that. The world is changing too much and is too freaky these days; I couldn’t stand to lose my constant.

[Photo: Getty]

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Elle Style Awards Fug Carpet: Bella Hadid


Bella is Gigi Hadid’s sister, and also a model, and her face has — to my mind — never looked better. She sort of looks like Liberty Ross to me? Having kindly doled out my obligatory compliments, however, WE NEED TO TALK?

Elle Style Awards 2016 - Red Carpet Arrivals

If this were on Beyonce, and she was blowing everyone’s mind on stage, I would be into it. If this were on Lady Gaga, and she was sailing onto the red carpet on a trapeze, the fringe occasionally whacking her on the face, I would buy it. If this were a remake of Labyrinth and Tilda Swinton wore this as the Goblin King for a few pivotal moments, I would allow it. If Bella herself were attending a salute to the late television program Fringe, I would give her a hand for her grasp of the literal. But in this instance, it just seems so itchy.

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Fug Illustrated: Gigi Hadid


It’s not that I even think Gigi looks bad in this. If a person is going to wear this catsuit, it might as well be her, because she has youth and genetics on her side.

Gigi Hadid

But the operative phrase in there is, “If a person is going to wear this catsuit.” It’s really more like underpants with a very elaborate pair of tights pulled up over it. Tights that look like what our TV screens will when our alien overlords disrupt the signal but haven’t gotten their feed up and running yet. When that day comes, I guess Gigi will do just fine, given that she can already communicate on that wavelength.

[Photo: Getty]

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amfAR Gala Fugs and Fabs: The Models


Some bold and bizarre choices were made for this event, and one of the most bizarre ones is that Heidi Klum is totally covered up.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Gigi Hadid


Gigi here is in Paris, working the couture shows, and she has been out and about looking alternately crazy, and great, and sometimes great when she ought to look crazy. Which is the magic of being, like, 22 years old and a model.

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WTF: Adriana Lima in Alix


Yes. It’s a jumpsuit.

IWC Schaffhausen at SIHH 2016 - "Come Fly With Us" Gala Dinner

WITH SIDE SLITS. From this angle, it looks like the aftermath of a mugging…

IWC Schaffhausen at SIHH 2016 - "Come Fly With Us" Gala Dinner

But then here you see that they’re just FULLY OPEN. So, I repeat, they’re pants, but only on the inside. Does that make it a bizarro skirt? Or just like each leg is wearing its own dress? What… does any of this MEAN? I don’t know whether to call it a jumpslit, a jumpshit, or just an abomination.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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