Fug File: suits

Kids Choice Awards Fug Carpet: America Ferrera


This does nothing for me.

Worse, it does nothing for her. The two-tone pants aren’t flattering, the length of them isn’t working for her, the cropped legs and shortish sleeves on the coat are freaky together — like it’s trying too hard to be trendy but doesn’t actually remember what that entails. The blazer itself seems too stuffy, in fact, and the shoes add to the issues. About the only thing I like are the earrings, and I am totally guessing about those because I can’t totally see them. America Ferrera is so pretty and this feels overthought and undercooked, like she isn’t actually a guest but a hopeless chaperon.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Kim Basinger


I actually think she looks foxy.

Kind of like if Robert Palmer dressed up his backup dancers as Bowie SWINTONs and then cast them in a movie called Single White Gosling, in which a bunch of people try to live like they are Ryan in an effort to achieve world peace through mass suavitude. My chief reservation is with the head-styling: Is it too severe for this? Or too costumey? Flowing hair might’ve been sexier with the suit, and her red lipstick feels a few shades too hot; it’s washing out her face and veering into Wax Lips territory, which I wholeheartedly support on her own time, but generally what a woman does with her Mini Babybel casings is best left between her, her kitchen garbage can, and her living room sofa.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Unfug It Up: Ke$ha


You could’ve told me this was Lady Gaga, and it might’ve taken a couple moments for me to question it.

But the thing is, that suit might be fun. It’s CRAZY, and it’s a hell brothel’s powder-room wallpaper, and Elton John probably has a version of it in bellbottoms, but it’s fun. Ke$ha usually hollows out my soul with a blunt spoon, so “fun” is really quite exciting here. HOWEVER: She punted on the shoes, and the shirt is a drag, and the heavy chains, and the sunglasses… Let’s brainstorm a way to sell that suit better. How would you style it so that it sings, rather than screeches? And no, putting it on someone else doesn’t count. Although if GOOP ran into frame and ripped it off Ke$ha’s body and ran into the ladies’ W.C., I’d stick around to see her come out of that bathroom.

[Photo: Splash]

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Fug or Fab: Julianna Margulies


If CBS cancels The Good Wife, someone should bring Julianna Margulies — and her head, from this outfit — to Mad Men to show Don Draper a thing or two about real foxy women.

Maybe I would be okay with the rest of this outfit if she’d just hemmed her pants (although Manhattan is so very tiny; wherever would she find a tailor?). Or maybe my issue is that the suit needs younger, sassier hair with it. Maybe I want blood-red lips with it, and a matching manicure. Maybe I want to sit down the Revenge writers and make them watch The Good Wife to understand how corporate shenanigans can be engrossing, if they are executed properly and by characters with more depth than the lid of an Arrowhead bottle. Maybe I want better wrinkle cream for my forehead, which is apparently where I experience ALL of my feelings. Maybe I want this outfit to give me more of those feelings, and for whatever reason, it isn’t.

Maybe it's your turn now.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fuggifer Morrison


I don’t care where the backdrop says she is.

Jennifer Morrison is clearly off to her first day on the job at this wicked new company called CompuServe.

[Photo: WENN]

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Fugmi Rapace


Done differently, this could’ve been a cool look.

Done thusly, it feels a bit smugly cooler-than-thou for a lady whose sliced shortie tie has its tail tucked into her fairly unflattering trousers. Dawn Draper you are not, m’dear.

[Photo: Splash]

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