Fug File: stay classy

XfugfugO, Fug Girl

Stay classy, Taylor Momsen:

[Photo: Splash News]

PS: Of all the things in the world that aren’t pants, A SWEATSHIRT TIED AROUND YOUR WAIST TO CONCEAL YOUR RATTY BOY SHORT UNDERPANTS is the least pants-like of all.


Fuggne Gordon

This is Brynne Gordon, who claims to be 26. Which means I’m late for geometry.

In addition to wearing this SUPER CLASSY outfit over the weekend — one I believe I last saw on one of the My Little Mermaid dolls I was obsessed with in 4th grade — she recently married this dude who is famous in Australia for being — as far as I can tell — a very rich and famous doctor who was disbarred for any number of distasteful things, including having unqualified people performing Lasik, and for having certain patients assaulted. Does he not sound like a prince? Well, he and princess here got married in a very tasteful ceremony — as you can imagine from the high level of taste displayed in this dress: according to Wikipedia, it cost $3 million, had 550 guests, involved circus performers, and guests were sent a DVD about the couple that was narrated by JASON “GEORGE COSTANZA” ALEXANDER. I think I speak for all of us when I say both, ‘WTF” and “WHY aren’t these people famous in America??” Just think of all the material I’d have!


Random Fug

This photo is from an event held in support of David Carradine Memorial Fund.

I didn’t know this was something that actually needed to be spelled out for people, but here goes: even when the deceased in question died under suspiciously saucy circumstances, you are NOT ALLOWED to attend anything that involves the phrase “memorial fund” dressed like a streetwalker. And that’s not hyperbole. I have actually seen prostitutes hanging out in front of the Donut Hole on the corner of Highland and Melrose WEARING THIS. DIAL IT DOWN, HONEY. For your own good. 


Rufug Willis

Okay, so the pendulum swung back: Rumer’s got the hair working for her again, but the dress is back to being suspect:

Nothing says “classy” like a dress with photos on it of a woman’s hand holding a cigarette. She’s basically in costume as lung cancer, and if that doesn’t get a girl in the mood to wear a frilly tutu, I don’t know WHAT does.

Actually, for a long time, I stared at it and thought it was an order of french fries from McDonald’s, and sat here trying to think of a name for a ballet in which Rumer might be starring that’s based on the secret pain of the Hamburgler. All I came up with was The Clowncracker, which needed some workshopping, or Ron Lake, which sounds just as much like it could be about your accountant as about how one fast-food chain’s clown continually defeats a man who’s trying to steal his beef. Sigh. Fortunately it’s a moot point.


Fugly Pratt

Wow. So, according to our image source, Stephanie “Sister of Spencer” Pratt here is just leaving a casual lunch with Audrina for The Hills.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

A lunch that was, I presume, being eaten at a theme restaurant called T.J. Hooker’s — based, of course, on the seminal 80s Shatner/Locklear cop show that Pratt was too young to have watched. Hence her awkward misinterpretation of said theme.



First, I’d just like to say that Shenae here looks very pretty with the extra five pounds or whatever that she’s put on her wee little body. But the CLOTHING she’s put on her wee little body is NOT very pretty. AT ALL:

I hear you. You’re wondering, could this BE any trashier? Well, Chandler Bing, get a load of this:

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Jodie Fugsh

Jodie Marsh is no stranger to our site, which you will see here — except for that second entry, which just contains a link, we’ve put up many a photo of Jodie’s exploits. Believe it or not, she’s now basically the tacky version of her former blood-rival Katie Price. And I do not use that phrase lightly, as Katie Price is the Mayor of Tackytown. But Jodie Marsh runs the town’s local brothel.

[Photos: WENN.com]

Here she is giving us a taste of what’s to come, and if you’ve ever encountered this passionate nudist before, you know the strip of pelvic flesh winking at you from above her leggings is but a minor taste of what’s to come. And that is, as you may have guessed, TECHNICALLY probably safe for work but still not something you should look at if your boss is on his or her way over to demand cover sheets for your TPS reports.

Or to put it another way, Jodie apparently once wrote a column for Zoo Weekly,
which Wikipedia tells me is a British lad mag, but which I prefer to interpret as a publication you’d see
a bunch of chimps, a hippo, and a lemur poring through on a Friday night and giggling
at how Jodie just refuses to keep HER animals in their cages:

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