Fug File: SIGH

Fugfugs Fugton


I’m so glad Paris Hilton felt the need to speak to us through fashion.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Because it wasn’t already IMMEDIATELY obvious to anyone within a 100-mile radius that Paris Hilton is always on the prowl.

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Fugh Lezark/Unbreak My Fug


You know that old chestnut about letting your legs OR your boobs hang out, but not both at once? Leigh Lezark is putting her own special transparent spin on that. First she flashed her bottom half at us, and now she’s covered up down south in favor of showing us her aurora boobealis.

Get it? The Northern Lights, aurora borealis… Yeah, okay, that was horrendous. Sorry. But this is also horrendous.

It’s been like three weeks and I’m already so tired of the Madonna-circa-1984 transparent lace stuff coming back around, mostly because we’ve got about a week before Forever 21 picks up on it and that means a bunch of 12-year olds will start wearing this crap to school dances and I will officially have to move into a nursing home because my righteous indignation will make me turn 80 on the spot.

But at least Leigh isn’t trying to pull it off with leggings, a la Toni Braxton here:

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Amanda Bynes


OH MY GOD, you guys! You’re not going to believe this! Amanda Bynes is wearing a tiny mini-dress and a fake tan!

Up is down and down is up! Next you’re going to tell me that bacon grows on trees and Brett Favre is retiring for good and Audrina Patridge made eye contact with something! WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE.

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Leigh Fugzark


One thing I love about Fashion Week is seeing all the old standbys who mean absolutely nothing to me for the rest of the year, but whose presence at Bryant Park mean that we will at least have SOMETHING to write about in any given front row. One such person? Leigh Lezark.

Of course, now she means something to all of us: She is the woman who showed us how to wear shrink-wrap over a leotard. My only question is whether, the reviled style of the 90s, that bodysuit snaps at the crotch — if so, and you don’t get those suckers closed super tight, that could prompt a front-row show of a whole different variety. Which would REALLY give us something to write.

Is it wrong that I’m kind of rooting for it now?

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Lady Fugga


So we’ve gone from a willful lack of pants and do-it-yourself nipple shields… to this:

It’s like one part Madonna, one part Liberace, a sprinkling of Liza Minnelli, a droplet of Joan Collins, all thrown in a blender and frosted with a divine icing made of this:

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Fuggis Fugton


[Photo: Splash News]

“Dear Diary,

OMG I am a genius. One word: Mile-high club. Two words: LEGGINGS WITH BUILT-IN KNEEPADS. Three words: AWESOME. Or is that also only two words? I don’t know. All I know is, I don’t have any bruises, Diary! Well, maybe a few, but they don’t make leggings with pads there. VICTORY. I can’t wait to tell Nicky. She is going to be so jealous, once she stops lecturing me and really stops to THINK about it.

Come Fky My Friendly Skies,
P”

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