Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is known primarily on this side of the pond as being That British
Lady Who Needs To Eat And Doesn’t Do Anything Except Be Tan And Naked.
And, for the moment, That British Lady Whose Photo Is Not Safe For Work:
I’m so glad Paris Hilton felt the need to speak to us through fashion.
Because it wasn’t already IMMEDIATELY obvious to anyone within a 100-mile radius that Paris Hilton is always on the prowl.
OH MY GOD, you guys! You’re not going to believe this! Amanda Bynes is wearing a tiny mini-dress and a fake tan!
Up is down and down is up! Next you’re going to tell me that bacon grows on trees and Brett Favre is retiring for good and Audrina Patridge made eye contact with something! WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE.
One thing I love about Fashion Week is seeing all the old standbys who mean absolutely nothing to me for the rest of the year, but whose presence at Bryant Park mean that we will at least have SOMETHING to write about in any given front row. One such person? Leigh Lezark.
Of course, now she means something to all of us: She is the woman who showed us how to wear shrink-wrap over a leotard. My only question is whether, the reviled style of the 90s, that bodysuit snaps at the crotch — if so, and you don’t get those suckers closed super tight, that could prompt a front-row show of a whole different variety. Which would REALLY give us something to write.
Is it wrong that I’m kind of rooting for it now?
[Photo: Splash News]
OMG I am a genius. One word: Mile-high club. Two words: LEGGINGS WITH BUILT-IN KNEEPADS. Three words: AWESOME. Or is that also only two words? I don’t know. All I know is, I don’t have any bruises, Diary! Well, maybe a few, but they don’t make leggings with pads there. VICTORY. I can’t wait to tell Nicky. She is going to be so jealous, once she stops lecturing me and really stops to THINK about it.
Come Fky My Friendly Skies,