Fug File: scrolldown fug

Scrolldown Fug: Katherine Heigl


Before we begin, I have to say that Jessica and I watched One For The Money recently — we were in the mood to see a hilariously bad movie — and oh, boy, was it a mess. Not even fun-bad; just flat-out BAD, and confusing, and therefore depressing. We literally sat there in silence and then turned on Love Ranch, so we could watch Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren be a married couple running a brothel, and I’m not kidding, it was a major step up. Heigl’s accent in that movie joins the pantheon of Fake Accents That Come And Go With Reckless Abandon (see also: Jessica Alba from Honey), and none of it makes a lick of sense. Wonder if she’s missing those Grey’s Anatomy accolades right about now.

In other news, she appears slowly to be solving the conundrum that was her haircut…

… but WHAT i going on with her lower half? Those shoes are all wrong (and possibly manure-colored?). And those dishwater tights give her Muppet legs — as in, they somehow look like exactly the same color and texture as Miss Piggy’s. This is only acceptable if you actually karate-chop someone who has wronged you and/or can ride a motorcycle through a stained-glass window without sustaining a scratch.

[Photo: WENN]

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Scrolldown(ish) Fug: Solange


I just checked out Solange’s new single, and… well, I’m a bigger fan of her head than I am of her music, I think. I don’t know. It all felt auto-tuned and spit-shined to where it could have been anyone singing. Except for the cool backing track, if I closed my eyes and you told me it was J.Lo, I might not have challenged you. Fortunately, her style is still wholly original. If not always successful.

[Photos: Getty]

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Scrolldown Fug: Miley Cyrus


It’s drastic, sure, but I actually think she’s making it work.

When the rest of her doesn’t look like she rolled out of a discount brothel, she carries this nicely. Although I do still enjoy imagining her and Liam Hemsworth re-enacting a bunch of Roxette videos in their spare time.

But what happens when we factor in the rest of the outfit?

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Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny


I get what she’s going for here:

The problem is that I think I hate it.  I don’t mind these parts on their own — the dress is very cute, and the boots are cool (I am neutral on the bag) — but there’s “toughening up your girliest dress” and then there’s “my feet fell into a 90s wormhole and now I can’t stop singing Sixpence None the Richer,” and if we could all avoid the latter, it’d be for the best.

What do you think?

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Fuglissa Leo


Oh, wacky Melissa Leo. Sometimes it’s the little things.

I mean, the blazer and the scarf and maybe even the dress wouldn’t register much on their own. But throw them all together and then add lace leggings (?) and brown brogue-ish booties, and suddenly she’s the lady in your building you hope will never be in the elevator with you when it gets stuck, because she’ll start doing aura readings, sing a rendition or two of “It’s A Hard-Knock Life,” and then tell you in uncomfortably explicit anatomical detail how reading 50 Shades of Grey awakened the erotic spirit animal coiled inside her pelvis.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug0210


This starts in one place and lands in another:

Behold what we’re about to see in the CW’s reboot of Pride and Prejudice — they’re calling it Uptight and Judgmental, and they reworked it so that Mr. Darcy is now the leader of a standoffish dance crew.  Drunkface McCord — who hardly ever looks drunkfaced anymore — plays Elizabeth Bennet, obviously bringing Regency-period fierceness tempered with contemporary realness. It’s going to be TERRIBLE.

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