Does it even MATTER what Sarah Michelle Gellar was wearing, when FINALLY she took it off and did the Welsh Rumba with Ioan? And yes, I made up that euphemism. For fun, I Googled it and all it came up with was an English-to-Welsh translator and an ad for Roombas. But, even with this carnal victory for Poor Twin, we’ll still have to take a look at what he ripped off of her, and what she put on afterward. The list includes sunglasses, a blazer, and a look of remarkable impassivity regarding Henry Sad-Sack’s follicular issues. It’s the last Ringer until January, y’all, so take my hand and let’s do this.
Fug File: Ringer
There was some plot here, and we are back to a minimum of outfit changes, but I don’t want to leave you in suspense about the most momentous development of all: Henry Sad-Sack’s twins EXIST. WE HAVE PROOF. I KNOW. They must be so happy not to be in story purgatory anymore.
Ringer flips the script on us this week a bit: No swerve ending (although it’s still full of Nefarious Intent), but about six costume changes for Sarah Michelle Gellar. I could barely keep up. It was like trying to run alongside a moving airplane — which, contrary to the lessons of Toy Story 2, is hella hard.
This makes umpteen episodes in a row — well, I guess seven, since the number is right up there in the headline, but you feel me — where SMG is stuffed into something that does nothing for her except make me want to give her a hug (which is a prize of debatable benefit), but more importantly, it is three episodes in a row with an awesome ending. Oh, Ringer. You might be whiffing the uniforms but even the East German judge is giving your landings a perfect ten.
(I’m still figuring out how I like to do this, which is why this recap is a bit longer than the others. With Ringer, since it’s so twisty, I think it’s more fun to dribble out some plot stuff as we go, but that also makes for more photos of stuff I can’t resist that has nothing to do with clothes. Oh well, I think there’s something for everyone in there — SMG looking great, FBI Agent Richard Alpert, some major man-abs, double cleavage, a few new emotions to go along with “sad” in Henry’s sack… It is replete.)
Not long after last week’s Ringer post, in which we speculated that SMG’s clothes were kind of heinous and big because they were full of fetal secrets, we got a truly lovely e-mail from the lady herself in which she a) was totally classy and awesome; b) said we are NOT, in fact, headed for some episodes of the show where both her characters do nothing but sit behind desks and carry potted plants (as in, not prego); c) reassured us that brighter wardrobe days are ahead; and d) told us not to pull our punches, regardless. And when Kendall Hart 1.0 essentially asks us to keep being Rich Twin/Poor Twin’s Get-A-Grip friend, we feel compelled to oblige, even — nay, especially — if it means being brutally honest about what dumpy hellfire Rich Twin is wearing in the last shot of the episode.
Ergo, come with me as I take a few swings at this week’s Ringer, which ponied up ANOTHER good ending, and continued the plot hot streak that started with last week’s surprise blood stain (and BFF’s sad-sack husband/Rich Twin’s secret lover and baby-daddy staggering around his house like he was drunk on muuuuurder). It also kept up the streak of putting SMG in the same outfit for 90 percent of the hour. I wonder if she gets as bored as the Lost cast. Poor old FBI Agent Richard Alpert must be like, “Really? THIS OUTFIT AGAIN? Can’t we do an episode where I go to Bermuda for a week and wear a bunch of different exciting shorts?”
In case you weren’t clear on what this week’s episode is about, this photo is a helpful primer. There are also single earrings, sparkly shoes, and a lot of dumpy, dumpy outfits. I mean, how come none of these people have asked “Rich Twin” if she got a head injury? Until now, she hadn’t put on anything metallic in weeks. (How many weeks? Two, apparently, according to this episode.) Spoilers lie within, so don’t read if you care about seeing it all unfold live and in person. And the ending WAS good, so… man, I hope this show makes it, because its brand of gloomy baffling camp is really growing on me. I might have to start straight-up recapping it, if my brain can untwist itself.