Fug File: Ringer

Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 8

Ringer flips the script on us this week a bit: No swerve ending (although it’s still full of Nefarious Intent), but about six costume changes for Sarah Michelle Gellar. I could barely keep up. It was like trying to run alongside a moving airplane — which, contrary to the lessons of Toy Story 2, is hella hard.


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 7

This makes umpteen episodes in a row — well, I guess seven, since the number is right up there in the headline, but you feel me — where SMG is stuffed into something that does nothing for her except make me want to give her a hug (which is a prize of debatable benefit), but more importantly, it is three episodes in a row with an awesome ending. Oh, Ringer. You might be whiffing the uniforms but even the East German judge is giving your landings a perfect ten.

(I’m still figuring out how I like to do this, which is why this recap is a bit longer than the others. With Ringer, since it’s so twisty, I think it’s more fun to dribble out some plot stuff as we go, but that also makes for more photos of stuff I can’t resist that has nothing to do with clothes. Oh well, I think there’s something for everyone in there — SMG looking great, FBI Agent Richard Alpert, some major man-abs, double cleavage, a few new emotions to go along with “sad” in Henry’s sack… It is replete.)


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 6

Not long after last week’s Ringer post, in which we speculated that SMG’s clothes were kind of heinous and big because they were full of fetal secrets, we got a truly lovely e-mail from the lady herself in which she a) was totally classy and awesome; b) said we are NOT, in fact, headed for some episodes of the show where both her characters do nothing but sit behind desks and carry potted plants (as in, not prego); c) reassured us that brighter wardrobe days are ahead; and d) told us not to pull our punches, regardless. And when Kendall Hart 1.0 essentially asks us to keep being Rich Twin/Poor Twin’s Get-A-Grip friend, we feel compelled to oblige, even — nay, especially — if it means being brutally honest about what dumpy hellfire Rich Twin is wearing in the last shot of the episode.

Ergo, come with me as I take a few swings at this week’s Ringer, which ponied up ANOTHER good ending, and continued the plot hot streak that started with last week’s surprise blood stain (and BFF’s sad-sack husband/Rich Twin’s secret lover and baby-daddy staggering around his house like he was drunk on muuuuurder). It also kept up the streak of putting SMG in the same outfit for 90 percent of the hour. I wonder if she gets as bored as the Lost cast. Poor old FBI Agent Richard Alpert must be like, “Really? THIS OUTFIT AGAIN? Can’t we do an episode where I go to Bermuda for a week and wear a bunch of different exciting shorts?”


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 5

In case you weren’t clear on what this week’s episode is about, this photo is a helpful primer. There are also single earrings, sparkly shoes, and a lot of dumpy, dumpy outfits. I mean, how come none of these people have asked “Rich Twin” if she got a head injury? Until now, she hadn’t put on anything metallic in weeks. (How many weeks? Two, apparently, according to this episode.) Spoilers lie within, so don’t read if you care about seeing it all unfold live and in person. And the ending WAS good, so… man, I hope this show makes it, because its brand of gloomy baffling camp is really growing on me. I might have to start straight-up recapping it, if my brain can untwist itself.


Fug The Show: Ringer, episode 4

You guys, this show saves SO MUCH WARDROBE MONEY by setting entire episodes on one single day. But I promise you are going to enjoy the birthday headpiece SMG wears at the end — she starts slow, in heavy layers and sweaters, and then we get some twin-on-twin backstory, and then finally some piracy. No really. Hang in there with me.

And if you’re wondering what is actually happening on this show, spoilers are afoot in this paragraph: This week, Rich Twin’s best friend found out from FBI Agent Richard Alpert that there IS a twin (nobody knew), and THEN she lurked at exactly the right doorway and found out that Rich Twin and her husband have been banging and that Rich Twin’s baby might be his — but of course Poor Twin, who is virtuous, wants no part of their affair. At the end of the hour, when Best Friend was seething at her, Poor Twin confessed she is Poor Twin and Best Friend looked shocked. The promo made it sound like Best Friend is going to expose Poor Twin, but my prediction? Best Friend thinks she’s lying to save face and threatens to expose Rich Twin’s infidelity. And I have GOT to start using names, but… eh.

One thing this show does to hilarious effect is fake-outs, but I can’t tell if they KNOW that they’re hilarious. Case in point: The first episode ended with Poor Twin killing a dude who attacked her. The next episode began with her hiding the body under a tarp where it happened — in this loft that her best friend is renovating for her — and then the best friend walks in and goes, “OH MY GOOOOOD.” Cut to commercial. When we come back, Best Friend says, “Oh my GOOOD, I TOLD THE CONTRACTORS NOT TO BREAK DOWN THAT WALL!!!” I mean, that is some funny right there. They also do it mid-episode — the time Poor Twin thought her husband had been the one arranging the hit, he had sent her to a dark alley, where either end suddenly was blocked by Dangerous-Looking People, and then suddenly a door burst open and it was Best Friend luring her into some warehouse full of couture. (The connective tissue here is Best Friend, so I’ve decided she is nefarious.) They did it AGAIN this time, sort of: The whole ep was set at Rich Twin’s house in the Hamptons, and there were THREE DIFFERENT SCENES where a) SMG heard a noise, b) SMG crept toward the noise, c) SMG armed herself for some hellacious trouble, and d) SMG discovered it was someone she knew in the house. LOCK YOUR DOORS, people.



Fug The Show: Ringer, Episode 3

Well, this one wasn’t nearly as fun as the first two — all that hair was going to be a tough act to follow — but it DID finish big, which I appreciate. Join me on SMG’s sartorial journey through the third episode of Ringer, with a few stops at Man Candy Junction on the way. Because it’s Friday, and I care.


Fug The Show: Ringer, Eps 1 and 2

We can’t let Sarah Michelle Gellar creep back onto network TV — in a soapy dual-role as a girl impersonating her presumed-dead twin, who is in fact alive and crabby — without a thorough examination of her wardrobe. Bridget is a po’ ex-junkie; Siobhan is a ┬áhoity-toity socialite with a secret pregnancy, a lover, a hated drug-addled stepdaughter, and a stick lodged someplace unpleasant. But because this show was originally for CBS and not The CW, her wardrobe is kind of… a CBS-ified CW socialite, rather than, you know, Blair Waldorf. Although looking at this first shot of Siobhan, it occurs to me that Blair Waldorf would very much like to be this person when she grows up, possibly right down to the death-faking and poorly green-screened motorboat and mystery fetus. So: Come for the dark glasses, stay for the giant red bag and the sci-fi ponytail and the one-sleeved gold-draped black thing. Tempted? Then INDULGE. These are just from the first two episodes. I’m sure there will be more fugs to come. Or at least more crazy hair.