Fug File: red

ESPYs Fug or Fab: Selena Gomez

I checked in a close-up, and this is not see-through; it’s just backed by lace that’s the same color as her legs. I THINK. Let’s just go with that, because it’s easier on my wrinkles.

So where does that leave us: A cute, fun, frothy red frock, or a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace? I was going to say, “or both,” but really, that only applies if you NEED a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace. And if she does, and she is also REALLY TRULY dating Justin Bieber again, then well, imagining WHY she might need a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace just blew my head off my neck and left my noggin stuck up in a tree and not even facing the right way to peek in on any of my neighbors. WOE, THE INJUSTICE.

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[Photo: Getty]



I’m confused.

Is she at the Miss Jumpsuit America 2013 pageant?

[Photo: Getty]


Critics Choice Television Awards Fugs and Fabs: Brights and Sparklies

I love how Emmy Rossum looks so much that I want to prescribe it to everyone. Here you go, Michelle Dockery. Carey Mulligan, take this and call me in the morning. Jennifer Aniston, I’m giving you two refills. At least.

[Photos: Getty]


Met Ball Well Played: Maggie Gyllenhaal

I know the dog collar feels like something of a paltry ode to costume punk.

But you know what? This is great on her, and yes, I say that even knowing she’s got a little sideboob poking out. Maggie looks sexy and confident in it, which is a refreshing change for her lately, and the pixie cut is utterly perfect with it. Maybe she’s getting lucky and I’m just too exhausted from everybody else to raise a strenuous objection, or maybe I’m grading on a curve based on her last couple outfits. But I’m going to stand by myself here. And then maybe give myself a shoulder rub, because damn, those suckers are starting to burn.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug Upon A Time

I think possibly every person in the background of this photo — be it amusedly or with flinty awkwardness — is thinking some version of the following:  ”WHAT? NO.”

I mean, the horribly fit top, the wrinkles, the Frowny Groinparts… Even the baby is averting her eyes. Clever girl.

[Photo: Splash News]


Well Played, Rosario Dawson

Rosario Dawson is in a new movie directed by Danny Boyle, and they themselves just broke up, so I like to think this is her Eat Your Heart Out dress.

I suspect it’s working.

The front isn’t as deliciously divatastic as the back, sadly, but that’s probably for the best. It’s often cooler and classier to make one statement instead of several.

and what is that statement?