Fug File: red

Oscar Party Fugs and Fabs: Red Dresses


Oh, Sienna. To NAB is divine, but you may have binged on it a wee.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Mia Wasikowska


The words we used most often to refer to Mia Wasikowska were “dreary” and “almost.” Well, and “WHY,” probably. We can eliminate a couple of those now:

This fits very well and is lovely on her — not at all depressing, and in a way it reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence’s simple red Oscars gown from the Winter’s Bone days. Mia’s obviously isn’t as va-va-voom, but definitely a situation where she is wearing it and not the other way around. But you could still argue that it’s an “almost”: She’s in need of better lip color, and of course, NAB (“needs a bracelet” — I am never sure how many uses means we no longer need to define the acronym). But overall this is a good step, for her, I think, and as a result, her whole mien is cheerier than usual.

Then again, maybe that’s because of this:

Pretty dreary work having to walk around next to Hiddleston all day, eh? Of course, she COULD have straightened his tie. DEMERIT. ACCEPT ANY EXCUSE TO TWIDDLE THE HIDDLE.

[Photos: Getty]

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ESPYs Fug or Fab: Selena Gomez


I checked in a close-up, and this is not see-through; it’s just backed by lace that’s the same color as her legs. I THINK. Let’s just go with that, because it’s easier on my wrinkles.

So where does that leave us: A cute, fun, frothy red frock, or a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace? I was going to say, “or both,” but really, that only applies if you NEED a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace. And if she does, and she is also REALLY TRULY dating Justin Bieber again, then well, imagining WHY she might need a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace just blew my head off my neck and left my noggin stuck up in a tree and not even facing the right way to peek in on any of my neighbors. WOE, THE INJUSTICE.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fugstle


I’m confused.

Is she at the Miss Jumpsuit America 2013 pageant?

[Photo: Getty]

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Critics Choice Television Awards Fugs and Fabs: Brights and Sparklies


I love how Emmy Rossum looks so much that I want to prescribe it to everyone. Here you go, Michelle Dockery. Carey Mulligan, take this and call me in the morning. Jennifer Aniston, I’m giving you two refills. At least.

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Ball Well Played: Maggie Gyllenhaal


I know the dog collar feels like something of a paltry ode to costume punk.

But you know what? This is great on her, and yes, I say that even knowing she’s got a little sideboob poking out. Maggie looks sexy and confident in it, which is a refreshing change for her lately, and the pixie cut is utterly perfect with it. Maybe she’s getting lucky and I’m just too exhausted from everybody else to raise a strenuous objection, or maybe I’m grading on a curve based on her last couple outfits. But I’m going to stand by myself here. And then maybe give myself a shoulder rub, because damn, those suckers are starting to burn.

[Photo: Getty]

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