Fug File: Random Fug

Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

It’s little wonder I’ve never heard of Rachel Zeskind.

Until today, no one had seen hide nor hair of her since her job as the hostess at the incredibly ill-conceived and unpopular Sea World Sushi Lounge.


The Final Fugstination: Random Fug

Look. I know Final Destination is a horror movie.

But I don’t know if I’m supposed to scream just looking at the red carpet.


Inglourious Basfuggs

The Inglourious Basterds premiere in Germany was just a sight to behold, you guys. I wish we could have been there! For one thing, we could have told Diane Kruger that she looks very pretty:

And then we could have whispered in the bathroom that we weren’t WHOLLY sure about her hair, but LA LA LA LA WHERE’S PACEY? (Accessorizing herself with Josh Jackson was like the smartest thing ol’ Krug has done in years, by the way. Well, along with starring in the National Treasure movies, which somehow manage to be WRETCHED and yet also amazing and hilarious at the same time.)

And then we could have yammered about this poor hot man, who was constantly being yelled at:

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Random Fug

This photo is from an event held in support of David Carradine Memorial Fund.

I didn’t know this was something that actually needed to be spelled out for people, but here goes: even when the deceased in question died under suspiciously saucy circumstances, you are NOT ALLOWED to attend anything that involves the phrase “memorial fund” dressed like a streetwalker. And that’s not hyperbole. I have actually seen prostitutes hanging out in front of the Donut Hole on the corner of Highland and Melrose WEARING THIS. DIAL IT DOWN, HONEY. For your own good. 


Not At ALL Random Fug: Bridgetta Tomarchio

Back in 2007, we got an e-mail from a girl named Bridgetta Tomarchio in which she complained to us. Not about what we’d written about her on the site, mind you, but about the fact that we filed her under “Random Fug.” See, we hadn’t recognized her name or her face, but according to her, that was an oversight on our part because she’d done tons of stuff, and thus she demanded the “random” label should removed immediately because she was famous. Silly us, she was right: We should’ve recognized her from her work as Red Team Wrestler and Runner #1 in two separate episodes of Poorman’s Beach Bikini, as well as “Model” in Entourage and of course “Contestant” in something called Lingo. And we’ve since seen her in many ads for the erection-enhancer Extenze, so clearly, her star is — ahem — on the rise.

I for one have learned my lesson. I will not soon forget her.

And now, neither will you — because whenever you think fondly upon all the good times you’ve shared with Mr. Snuffleupagus, you’ll remember where you were the day you found out the name of the girl who killed him and turned his feet into boots.


Cannes Random Fug: Elena Lenina

There is not much more information out there on Russian actress Elena Lenina than the last time we fugged her at Cannes, when she was dressed like an extra in a highly fictionalized Sebastien Bach biopic involving witches.

The same could be true of this dress, I suppose — if you replace the word “witches” with “wenches,” and add in a loopy subplot in which Bach grossly misunderstands the
meaning of the term “music piracy.” Glad to see Elena is keeping herself in a state of heightened readiness, just in case.


Possibly-Soon-To-Be-Less-Random Fug: Katerina Graham

It’s nice to see Katerina Graham — first featured on Friday with this fug buffet, but well on her way to a Fug Madness berth if she can manage to keep getting invited places — demonstrating such a keen sense of occasion.

[Photo: Splash News]

It’s so moving to see that, at a benefit for the L.A. children’s hospital, Katerina is honoring all the sick kids out there with a deeply sensitive strapless bra; a tender tank top that says “Dime Piece,” and features a melting lipstick and salivating tongue, lest we miss the point that she is super hot and bang-worthy; and one of those earring-necklaces that Rihanna wore the other week. It’s all just so sensitive. In fact, the most generous gift to the children of all is those leggings — with those, she can teach the infirmed wee ones to spell. You know, things like “WTF,” or “OMG,” or “This dime piece is crazy,” or, “Remind me to ask where she shops and then never go there.”