Fug File: Random Fug

MOBO Awards Fug Carpet: Random Fug

So, Jetta John-Hartley here is apparently a singer — dear young celebrities, PLEASE get a Wikipedia page for out-of-touch bloggers such as myself — and I believe she is also currently, or was once, in a British choir called Sense of Sound, who I found on YouTube performing with a boy’s school in a clip that is so AWESOME that if you aren’t moved by it, I worry about your VERY SOUL.

This does not entirely explain why she’s wearing this to the MOBO awards, though, apparently sans the rest of the group (has she gone solo? I’m sure SOMEONE in Fug Nation will know):

I don’t know that I can with good conscience sign off on this outfit — for many reasons, the least of which being that I am worried those shorts may do her actual anatomical harm, and she seems like she might be awesome enough that we want her in one piece — but I have to admit that nothing cracks me up like a girl on the red carpet holding her own jacket, and wallet, and phone, like she’s trying to open her apartment door with her hands full instead of posing for the press. Someone get this girl an assistant, please!


Random Fug: Name Withheld For Mercy Reasons

I feel compelled not to use this person’s name, just because SURELY she woke up this morning and thought, “What the HELL DID I DO LAST NIGHT?”

[Photo: WENN.com]

The caption did say she is wearing something,** by the designer whose store opening this was, so I feel safe in asserting two things: She has used it to scrub her tile grout already today, and Bai Ling has already called to ask if she can dry-clean it and wear it to Barnes & Noble. Not necessarily in that order.
** This comma, placed in error, suddenly became hilarious to me — like, as if the caption felt compelled to defend that she is indeed clothed. Heh.

HGTV Design Fug

Yesterday, I was working along and an IM popped up from my friend Nick. “Do you watch Design Star?” he asked. “I was wondering if I ought to,” I said. “Well, it’s over now,” he pointed out. “But I need to talk to you about what one of the judges, Candice Olsen, wore on the finale. YOU NEED TO SEE IT.”

I had him send it to me. BEHOLD:

My reaction was along the lines of, “YES! WHAT? NO. PLEATS! YES. OMG.”

And please see the back:

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Random Fug: Anita Briem

Well, if Vivid Video ever wants to throw a Renaissance Faire, I’ve a pretty shrewd idea who’ll staff the tarot booth.


Here’s the thing:

When your movie is about the nuclear arms race — as is Lucy Walker’s, here — is it appropriate to show up dressed like you’re late for your midnight performance at Beach Blanket Bingo? I promise I’m not being snarky. I have never made what is by all accounts a very powerful film about the nuclear arms race — all of my nuclear arms race movies are glib and half-assed — so I don’t know HOW you dress to promote it. I feel like you’d probably be standing in front of your closet thinking, “am I supposed to look all Serious Bizness here? Or is that just DEPRESSING? Oh, screw it. I’m going to be kicky and retro. If we’re all going up in a mushroom cloud of doom, at least I will have taken my midriff out for a walk before that happens. CARPE DIEM!”


Random Fug: Emily Meade

Something about the way Emily Meade carries herself here suggests to me that she wants me to stare at her from a distance, squeal, “IT’S LEIGHTON MEESTER,” and then ask for her autograph. 

And congrats to her — for a second, seeing as she’s attending the premiere of a Chace Crawford movie (in which she stars), I did in fact see the thumbnail and wonder, “Is Blair Waldorf wearing one of Blanche Devereaux’s best Courting A Mustachiod Gentleman With Dangerously High-Waisted Slacks blouses?”
But then Emily ruined the illusion:

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Random Fug: Cody Horn

The lovely Cody Horn apparently is in three things this year, including Flipped, this Rob Reiner movie with Rebecca DeMornay and Goose and Aidan Quinn and Frasier’s dad and Marshall from Alias and a couple other people who feel chosen at random from a list of people who used to do stuff.

Unfortunately, I don’t think your dress is supposed to be that short both above AND below the equator. Because I keep wanting to tug it up a few inches, but if I were to do it and succeed, she might suddenly find herself getting papped in a very different way.