A caveat: this is admittedly crazy. But I think it’s also very HER. And on a night when everyone else looked, honestly, kinda dull, it was nice to get a little crazy up in this bitch. Let’s take a closer look.
Fug File: purple
I hope, whatever she wears on Sunday, the color is at least this pretty:
In fact, this whole dress is cute — the cleavage triangle is perhaps a little questionable, but who amongst us hasn’t done something questionable with our cleavage? Do I wish I had a better shot of her feet? Yes. Do I suspect that whatever she’s done on her feet, it’s unlikely it could be SO HORRIBLE as to un-cute-ify this dress? Yes. Will I totally eat my words if it turns out she’s wearing cloven-foot gladiator sandal Uggs? With mustard.
Katy Perry’s new fragrance — which she’s holding here, see? I CAN’T BLAME YOU IF YOU ARE DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING ELSE IN THE PICTURE — is called PURR.
And her exposed wrist tattoo is called, “Jesus.”
The phrases “cat-themed perfume,” “Jesus tattoo” and “Plexiglass-trapped boobs partially obstructed by grape-flavored mouse ears” are like three players in the world’s most advanced — and hilarious — game of Mad Libs. God knows, I wish that was the excuse I had for bringing them to your attention today.
[Photo: Splash News]
You guys know how much I want to believe Helen Mirren can do no wrong, but… I think maybe she has done wrong. The shrug, the weird stitching, the shrug, the fact that I still think I can see some nipple underneath all that, the fishtail, the shrug, the hair, the lipstick, the SHRUG… It’s not that she isn’t still a silver fox; more that I think she’s not maximizing her silver foxyness in this outfit. I don’t want her to look like the Grande Dame of a brothel or anything, but I REALLY don’t want her to look like the Grande Dame of a picked-over department store sale rack.
Nor the Grande Dame of the Goodwill Store (last picture). You know, Helen, Red was just a job, not a suggestion.