Fug File: Oscars

Vanity Fair Oscar Party Well Played: Diane von Furstenberg in Wet Seal (Just Kidding, I Suspect It’s DVF)


The puzzle theme here made me unaccountably happy.

I just love a jigsaw — this kind, not the kind people use to build things, or torture people in horrible movies, although one of those is probably fun too as long as it’s not being used unkindly. Be pleasant with your hardware, people.

[Photo: Getty]

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Well Played: Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta


In his preview of the show in which this dress appeared, OdlR referred to this as “dot-calm,” and I liked that pun. I also still feel that it’s apt: this is the most relaxing exhale on a warm spring day, the kind where you’re pretty sure that no matter how awful your deadline is, or how deep your facial furrows, or how much everything is making you stressed-out and hungry and frustrated and frizzy and insane, everything is going to work out just fine, so your horoscope can pretty much SHOVE IT.

[Photos: Getty]

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Olivia Munn


The Newsroom (HOW WHY NOOO) has one more season, and then methinks someone wouldn’t mind a gift-stint on Orange Is The New Black. How do I know? Because she’s proving right here that she’s comfortable in prison.

[Photos: WENN, Getty]

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Well Played, Evan Rachel Wood in Elie Saab


This feels like a do-over of her 2012 Golden Globes dress:

An AMAZING and successful do-over, a do-over that she could easily repeat from here until they stop televising awards shows, and we’d all be like, “she’s worn that six years in a row, but…yeah, still good.” It’s that spectacularly glam on her. Additionally: I feel like someone needs to cast her and Cynthia Nixon in a brutally funny independent film about a teen mother and her daughter, both of them all grown up and on an adventurous road trip together, to learn about each other (obviously) and perhaps to rob some banks along the way.

[Photo: Getty]

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Oscars Well Played: June Squibb in Tadashi Shoji


My favorite running gag from the red carpet is the notion — started and perpetuated by him, in front of her — that Jared Leto and June Squibb are secretly dating. She was really playful about it, all, “Well IF YOU SAY SO, I’ll just HAVE TO GO WITH IT,” and he could certainly have chosen worse:

This is gorgeous on her — wonderful color, utterly sparkling, and a smart design. She radiated fun. Less successful: The fact that people were allowed to photograph attendees in front of a bunch of vertical blinds, although I guess that boring backdrop probably enhances the outfits, so perhaps it’s for the best. June didn’t need the help, though; she’d win against any setting.

[Photo: Getty]

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Banks in Jenny Packham


One of the many things I like about Elizabeth Banks is that she is NEVER boring. Even if I don’t like what she’s wearing, she never shies from color and pattern and she’s ALWAYS interesting. I applaud that. And she LOVES wearing a feathered skirt to the Vanity Fair party, as she did it in 2012, as well:

I like this effort SO much more than that; I’m just not sure if this is equal to the sum of its parts. Let’s do some figuring: the shoes are amazing; the color is divine; it’s refreshing to see someone show up at this event NOT wearing a giant gown for once; and, obviously, who doesn’t like a dramatic feathered cocktail skirt? I am, on the other hand, EXTREMELY sad she didn’t wear the matching coat. It’s possible that I’m delirious on lack of sleep, but as kooky as this is, I find it – and her — charming, and so I’m going to hand her the win here.

Will YOU?

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