Fug File: makeup mishaps

Well Played From The Neck Down, Gwen Stefani

I’m batting cleanup on Cannes a little, and couldn’t let this Gwen Stefani outfit pass without judgment.

It is Armani Prive, and although it’s very striking, I keep hoping, say, Victoria Beckham will show up in the exact same dress and then the two of them will have extreme tantrums for about an hour including commercial breaks. Of course, since V.Becks is pregnant, that shoots to hell the story where she loses her virginity in a hotel room shortly thereafter. I am pretty sure it was not an immaculate conception, because have you SEEN her husband?

Anyway, back to Gwen. Aside from the echoes of 90210 glory, and maybe even slightly because of, I rather like this on her. I appreciate that it’s got a twist to it but manages still to be less busy than some of what she likes to do — before Cannes, it had been a while since she showed up wearing gowns, and it’s interesting to see how she’s metamorphosed since her last mega media blitz. The back is also lovely in its simplicity:

But we have got to talk about her makeup.

pull up a stool at sephora, gwen


Here on Fug

Although I know that haters gonna hate, I don’t hate Leelee Sobieski’s dress:

It looks like a particularly complex and high-end version of The Infinite Dress — I think all kinds of different parts of it are removable, like Choose Your Own Adventure in dress form. That being said: GIRL. YOUR MAKEUP. Listen, Here On Earth was an entertaining movie, in a cheesy way, but you shouldn’t be reminding us of your role in it via your makeup, because, if I may remind you: YOU HAD RARE AND FICTIONAL KNEE CANCER IN THAT THING.  .


Fug Code

Let’s cleanse our palates with what Michelle Monaghan usually looks like.

Ignore for a second that you can see her bra. Or, don’t; I can’t control you. But her face looks, well, normal.  Her makeup doesn’t scare me. She seems cute and natural and not at all like I need to put out an APB on her eyesight.

And now, behold her at the Source Code premiere.

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Fug de la Huerta

I bet you thought wax lips were out for 2011.



Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kristin Bauer

Kristin Bauer is so good as Pam on True Blood:

Seriously, she makes me laugh at least once an episode. No one does deadpan better than she does. However, I don’t know that “deadpan” is exactly the right inspiration for one’s makeup come Emmy night. YOU, Kristin, are (presumably) ALIVE, and, ergo, a little bit of color in your face would not go awry. Otherwise, carry on — and please write an article about your abs workout, so I can read it, tear it out, plan to do it, and then decide to go have a sandwich instead. Thanks! 


The Pretty Fugless

Whoa. Taylor Momsen’s patented “Someone just decked me in the face. Twice!” eye make-up has reached new heights. (Lows?)

She looks a bit like a panda, and while I am about a month behind on my glossy magazines, I am quite sure none of them are advocating showing up anywhere dressed like an endangered species.

Her outfit is….well, imagine the most Taylor Momsen-y outfit ever, and then remove half of it:
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The O. Fug

As our previous fugee, Rachel Bilson, might have said: EW.

There is something satisfying about the fact that — almost six years into this gig — I can still be STUNNED AND AMAZED by the things people decide to wear out. Honestly, it still delights me. Outfits are so much fun! Good and bad. And when I saw this, I gasped aloud to my office, “oh, she looks HORRRIBLE,” in the same tone of voice you might otherwise use to say, “look, a puppy!” It really isn’t even the dress — though it certainly is far too “I’m the one in Bonnie and Clyde who isn’t Faye Dunaway, and boy am I bummed about THAT” for my taste — as much as it is all this ACTION on her face. One of the truths we have held self-evident lately is that Mischa has been perplexed by how to dress her body, but RARELY have we had problems with her face. Her face doesn’t need ANYTHING. She just gets to go outside with it and VOILA. And yet here we are — she’s got as much makeup on as I did that time the new kid at the Benefit counter decided both that I should look more like J Lo and that he would like to try a new contouring technique on every feature I own. MISCHA: THERE WERE NO PROBLEMS WITH YOUR FACE, JUST YOUR WARDROBE. YOUR FACE IS GREAT. LEAVE YOUR FACE ALONE.