Fug File: leather

Unfug It Up: Teri Polo

There can’t be anyone in the world more grateful that the Fockers franchise Will Not End than Teri Polo. And I actually mean that — I seriously don’t know anyone who’s happy that a THIRD movie is coming out so long after we’d put to bed the horrors of the second. Oh, don’t be fooled by that poster. Owen Wilson may look thrilled but I think he knows what movie he’s in, although the jury’s still out on Alba. But Teri Polo… when was the last time you saw her, unless you watched Law & Order: Los Angeles that one time? Right. So it’s nice that she got a gift that keeps on giving, is what I’m saying.


Teri Polo

The paycheck can keep giving, but the accessory fairy can sit down and relax for a second. The jacket, the over-the-knee boots, the chunky necklace, the earrings that match its clasp, and the huge purse all seem like way too much for this little focking dress. It’s all very… heavy. I just want to wipe the slate clean and redo it — which is exactly what I’d like y’all to contemplate in the comments.

Maybe Teri overdid it because she was just pushing away from the minimalism of the Meet The Fockers premiere back in 2004. Want to stroll down memory lane with me?

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Fug or Fab: Nicky Hilton

I’m so torn, you guys:

Dominatrix cheerleader. Not Halloween. Bad?

Don't ask me why I stopped speaking in complete sentences. Sometimes the pressures of the week get too much for me and verbs suffer.

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Fugcky Hilton

It’s a bad sign for Nicky Hilton that I saw this photo from afar and thought, “Oh, Lord, here we go, another Real Housewife of Tackyville.”

[Photo: Splash News]

It is here that I was going to write, “Then again, maybe Nicky Hilton would consider that a positive, since presumably none of the Real Housewives have to go to Thanksgiving with Paris.” But then Jessica informed me that, in fact, two of the Beverly Hills Real Housewives are Nicky’s aunts, meaning they probably DO have to go to Thanksgiving with Paris, or at least call her on the day and ask how she’s enjoying her acai berry smoothie with turkey juice or whatever. And thus there are no winners here. Sigh. I just don’t think our country can take this much tragedy. 

Fugbrey O’Day

It’s like Aubrey O’Day woke from a coma this morning with a gasp and thought, “holy crap. It’s nearly Thanksgiving. If I don’t get out there, I am going to be TOTALLY out of the running for Fug Madness this year!”

Welcome back, Aub. Don’t worry. A fur skirt makes up a LOT of ground.


Who Fugged It More (Or Less)? Madonna vs Blake Lively vs Sophie Monk

All I know is that my FIRST reaction to this is, “DUDE. Madonna. When you’re wearing something to an event that BLAKE LIVELY already wore, in JANUARY no less — nearly an entire decade ago, it feels like — and that SOPHIE MONK OF ALL PEOPLE  was also already photographed in, albeit in August, then we ALL know you are OFF YOUR GAME.” Behold:

I mean, sure — the rest of us don’t worry about whether or not someone’s already worn our perforated bootaloons and we also repeat outfits all the time. But none of us are Madonna (except you, Madonna — hi!), who built her entire career on the concept of looking new and interesting. But the main question, truly, is who pulled off her perforated bootaloons with the most verve?

Should you need a refresher, behold Ms Blake “I just read that she might be taking up with DiCaprio, and that’s going to get INTERESTING” Lively:

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A Beautiful Fug

I feel like this is one of those outfits that you can only really get away with if the rest of you is SO GOOOOD-LOOKING that your hotness distracts from the fact that, for example, your dress has what appears to be an unfastened, built-in chastity belt:

Like, just looking at this is making me exhausted. It’s Friday, you know? I just can’t even DEAL. I mean, I get it, Connelly. You’re edgy. You’re complex. And I don’t understand your aesthetic, seeing as at this event it seems to involve light bondage gear, linoleum, and a tablecloth — three tastes that REALLY only taste great in VERY SPECIFIC INSTANCES. So I’m just going to concentrate on your pretty face and pretend that none of this ever happened.

That way, I also won’t have to wonder why you looked like this ten minutes later:
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