Fug File: leather

VMAs Fug Carpet: Miley Cyrus

She’s raising her hands in the air like she just don’t care… and actually, she really seriously might not.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Casually Well Played, Keri Russell

If I say that Keri Russell is my spirit animal, will that make it so? Can I decide I believe in The Secret only when it’s completely convenient for me (although in a way isn’t that the entire point of The Secret)?

Because I would love to have those legs and look that good in those shoes and that skirt and with a messy ponytail. I just want to be a badass. Is that so wrong? I guess this is a discussion I need to have with myself. The therapy begins… now. With cheesecake, probably, right? Yeah.

[Photo: AKM-GSI]



Mortal Fugstruments

Man, she is relentless about letting her abdomen breathe.

I mean, gather ye rosebuds while ye may, and all that. But none of these are doing her head justice — like, her eyebrows and face and makeup have been FLAWLESS, and then it’s such a wah-waah to look down and see a blah black cropped t-shirt and high-waisted** (p)leather pants ,which I can only describe as ’90s Cut, flapping around her thighs. Even her stomach muscles deserve better.

* A commenter correctly notes that they’re NOT actually high-waisted, technically, but the reason I keep calling them that is that they are long-zippered so it LOOKS like they would be high-waisted pants even though they’re not hitting high above her waist, and… yeah. It’s some weird trick. The entire front of those looks like there is a lot more space between navel and groin than nature usually makes. The end.

Then again, it all beats this:

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Fugga Ora

It’s so nice to see that Rita Ora hasn’t given up her commitment to fugcellence.

I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it must be to wear that many yards of leather — much less leather that alleges to be pants, but is actually more like each leg requested its own, solitary, massively expensive sweat lodge experience. What do Rita Ora’s thighs see during a hallucinatory meditation? Her wardrobe already IS a hallucination. Do you think they have visions of themselves wearing normal clothes?


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Fugper Perafug

Welcome to another future band name: Piper Perabo’s Deadly Shorts.

From the waist up, she’s Nellie Oleson; from waist to knee, she’s riding in the Tour de Pants, a grueling bike race in which athletes are asked to compete wearing the most awkward, ill-advised trousers imaginable. In the heat of summer it may take hours to peel those off, and once she does, well, may I present Ross from Friends and his pants paste as a cautionary tale. Advice: Just cut yourself out of them and call them disposable. You do not want Pants Paste to happen to you.

[Photo: Splash]


Fugsie J

Let’s discuss baggy leather pants.

I know that tight does not always mean right, but with leather, doesn’t it just end up looking like she is wearing her garbage out to the Dumpster?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]