Fug File: lace

Fug or Fab: Sandra Bullock


I’m curious how the Oscar race will shake out, because while Sandra Bullock is great in Gravity, it’s not really her movie or Clooney’s movie so much as it is the director’s movie. It’s a showcase of technique. I read that it was originally supposed to be Angelina Jolie and Robert Downey, Jr., and in a rarity, I think it would’ve been close to the same experience with them in it. Sandy does do some of the character’s backstory and introversion better than Jolie might’ve, I think, but still — the point is, to me, it belongs to Alfonso Cuaron more than it does to the performers or their performances, and I suspect voters might agree. But it depends whom she’s up against. Against whom she’s up. Up against whom she is. No: “It depends against whom she’s competing.” THERE we go.

It is not a spoiler to tell you that there are several moments in Gravity where I thought, “I want her arms and her legs for Christmas.”

That is still true. And her lipstick is great, and I like that she looks strong and healthy and fit but never deprived. But she doesn’t give off an aura of being at one with the Stella McCartney dress. It’s a smidge short — like, Kristen Stewart short — and just sort of… there. Her legs are stars, but her torso is rendered totally free of topography, it almost seems like it’s too small on her shoulders, and her head seems tense, like it would rather be poking out of a sweatshirt while she took Louis out for burgers in Austin. Which may be true. She could put that sweatshirt on OVER this dress, and she’d look like a walk of shame in progress, and yet still it might be better than her seeming so stiff and underwhelmed by herself. Remember from 10 Things I Hate About You: “You can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever be whelmed?” “Um. I think you can in Europe?” Well, she was definitely whelmed in Europe. FIND YOUR EUROPE, SANDY. BE WHELMED. HAVE A WHELMING.

Loading ... Loading ...

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Margot Fugbie


I took one look at this and thought that if any tiny little part of Blake Lively misses her life in the public eye, before she married Ryan Reynolds and stopped doing anything or going anywhere, that part of her just got shivers of jealous ecstasy.

That lacy fabric is pretty. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to just dump it on somebody like a bridal cocoon. And why is she hiding interesting shoes? And what is the ruffly lacy stuff doing on her pelvis? Why am I ever asking the question, “What is that doing on, or to, her pelvis?” Why can’t people’s pelvises have peaceful lives, unmarred by rude design? SAVE THE PELVIS.

I’m going to start a ribbon campaign. It will be flesh-toned, obviously, but also bear the hallmarks of common groin-related fashion infractions. Like out-of-place froofery, like with Margot here, but also conditions from which she doesn’t suffer: wrinkles, polterwang, and a strange tightness in parts, while also seeming slightly pregnant. It’s going to be one hell of a ribbon.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Fug, then Fab: Hailee Steinfeld


The little old granny bursting at the seams of my soul REALLY can’t handle a girl Hailee’s age wearing anything even REMOTELY transparent.

I shouldn’t be able to see undergarments, I shouldn’t be wondering what percentage of this thing is lined, and I really shouldn’t be grimacing at what’s happening to her pelvis because my eyes should not BE on her pelvis because she is a fetus. Her pelvis is nobody’s business at this age. Don’t make me do illegal things just by virtue of having eyes, kid. Also, not for nothing: That is not a good jumpsuit. It’s like she’s been seized by creeping vines.

Fortunately, at a different event on the same night, she managed to be interesting in a better way:

Read More

react:

Ari Fugnor


I feel right now the way I did a few years ago, when nobody wore anything without jamming a pair of leggings under it.

I need sheer to STOP. I’M OUT. I’ve got nothing. My well is dry. I’ve made all the window jokes, the bra-mask jokes, the forgot-your-real-shirt jokes, the thank-god-she’s-wearing-lingerie jokes, the boobs-craving-attention jokes. I’m beyond not liking this trend; I’m EXHAUSTED by it. This is just another cute girl in another misappropriated exotic tablecloth with another set of boobs playing peekaboo through some lace and LA LA LA LA CAN WE PLEASE GET PAST THIS BEFORE GLOBAL CREATIVITY OFFICIALLY DIES AND MY CAPS LOCK KEY GETS STUCK THIS WAY? THANKS.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

ACMs Fug Carpet: Faith Hill


I think someone is suffering from attention deficit disorder.

That is to say, the fear that there is a deficit of attention being sent her way now that her husband was on the cover of People in a story about how He’s Super Cut Now, and all anyone remembers of her lately is that she’s been waitin’ all day for Sunday night. But Faith Hill is lovely, and Faith Hill is a country legend, basically — or at least headed that way (is she Rayna Jaymes, one wonders?) — and so it seems a shame that she’s decided the answer is wearing a lacy hook-and-eye nightmare straight out of some catalog called Boudoir Love Triangle. You are Faith Hill. You don’t need visible hotpants to be hot.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Fug/Fab Face-Off: Shailene Woodley vs. Diane Lane


Last awards season, only about a month shy in the proceedings of where we are now actually, Shailene Woodley wore this lacy dress in support of The Descendants. Fug Nation was split — 56 percent of you loved it, and the rest felt either negatively or ambivalent, saying she looked too mother-of-the-bride or that it didn’t belong on anyone under 35. So let’s see how it flies with you on Diane Lane — who is over 35, could therefore be the mother of a bride, and if you think about it, kind of looks like a grown-up Shailene Woodley.

I wonder if the fact that Shailene’s hair covered the camisole strap part of the dress is a reason I’m liking the bodice part better on her. I also think the length is more ideal on Shailene, but somehow I can see the waist detail a bit clearer on the photo of Diane and it seems more flattering there. But either way, the whole concept does still scream “wedding,” with its combination of lace and satiny slip — on Shailene it’s the bridesmaid dress she’ll never wear again, and on Diane, she KIND OF looks like the Mother of the Bride had this on under her actual dress, trapped a groomsman in the coat room, and has begun a seduction. All of which is to say that I can’t quite find my way around this dress on Diane any more than I could on Shailene, except to say that to my surprise — even though it’s not a typically “young” dress — I might prefer it on the whippersnapper. No affront to Diane Lane intended. She’s older than I am, but if I woke up tomorrow and looked exactly like her, I would be so stoked that even the Mars Rover would look up from its crater and be like, “Huh, that was loud.”

Loading ... Loading ...

[Photo: Getty]

react: