Fug File: Image Awards

NAACP Image Awards Fug Carpet: Tangi Miller


Hey, look, it’s Elena from Felicity!

And she’s being paid just as much flattering attention by her stylist as she was by the writers of that show. Which is to say: Fire your stylist, Elena.
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NAACP Image Awards Well Played Carpet: Katerina Graham and Keke Palmer


KATERINA GRAHAM: Hi Keke. You look super fabulous in that color.

KEKE PALMER: Hi Katerina. You look cute, too. Mostly.

KATERINA: That’s damning with faint praise, dude.

KEKE: No, seriously. Your dress is kind of funky, but you’re pulling it off. Mostly. I’m pretty sure.

KATERINA: Thanks?

KEKE: I mean it. I’ve thought about your dress, and I’ve decided like it. Also, I like you. The Vampire Diaries is seriously really, really, really good. Also, it has a lot of abs. I appreciate that.

KATERINA: You’re welcome. For what it’s worth, I didn’t have to think about whether or not I like your dress at all.

KEKE: Well, duh. I look great.

KATERINA: We’re kind of an adorable pair.

KEKE: Someone thank our stylists.   

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NAACP Image Awards Random Fug Carpet: Jennia Fredrique


Jennia Fredrique here was, according to her resume, on NBC’s late, lamented, and deeply beloved (by me) soap Passions:

Apparently, she played a woman that Chad Harris married in Los Angeles, before moving to Harmony, and then she was understandably pissed when Chad started romancing Whitney Russell without having divorced her first. Let me just note that it is SO CHAD to assume that the woman he was married to would take care of the divorce, and then think nothing else of it. Anyway, I guess she then threatened to kill Whitney. This has all been overwritten in my memory in order to make room for the vast amounts of information I have retained about all the other crazy things that happened to Whitney and Chad, which include but are not limited to: romancing one another DESPITE BEING BROTHER AND SISTER; Whitney entering a nunnery due to aforementioned incest; Chad accidentally adopting his own child with his maybe-sister; Chad and Whitney finding out that they’re totally NOT brother and sister, just adoptive half-cousins; then also finding out that their kind-of nephew is actually the intersex blackmailing murderer/rapist/arsonist Vincent/Valerie, both of whose personas Chad has been having separate affairs with (a gay affair with Vincent and a non-gay affair with Valerie), which makes me feel like Chad was REALLY not an observant lover; Chad being murdered before he learning that he had (maybe) impregnated Vincent/Valerie. (There was then a very complicated storyline that involved someone’s penis being reattached upside-down, a second serial killer, and a quadruple wedding at which every single guest was murdered by poisoned sauce. Don’t worry, they were all resurrected by magic later.) So it sort of stands to reason that I have forgotten Jennia here, after all of that. I would venture a theory though, that just as I forgot about her, she should have forgotten this dress. Anything that looks as though it is a very, very fancy entrant into the traditional wedding shower game Make A Bridal Gown From Toilet Paper probably isn’t your best option. 

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NAACP Image Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Eva “The Diva” “Pigford” Marcille


I think Eva Marcille, nee Pigford, is possibly my favorite past winner of America’s Next Top Model, though I also LOVE Jaslene. And CariDee, at the time. And who didn’t like Danielle? I loved Danielle — excuse me, “Dani.” Okay, so Eva’s got some competition. But of those girls, she was my FIRST love, and you never forget your first.  And I think I like this:

Yes, she looks a bit as though she’s been professionally gift-wrapped by a very posh department store, but I must confess that I love the neckline on this. It’s so refreshing to see someone who isn’t in a strapless gown, or a one-sleeve. It’s sort of charmingly modest, but still sexy. But I am concerned about her hair. If I may so bold, it looks a bit inspired by the aggressive combing magic worked every day by one Mr. Donald Trump. Take a look:

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NAACP Image Awards Fug Carpet: Claudia Jordan


Have I talked about my issues with Deal Or No Deal here before? It’s like this: I rejected it totally and found it very confusing, based solely on the commercials, and then I watched it once and now if I happen to turn on the TV during the day and it’s on, I CANNOT TURN IT OFF. I don’t know what it is, but I find that show compelling AGAINST MY WILL.  So although Claudia Jordan here has certainly more on her resume than just “Pretty Briefcase Holder — including a stint on another of my guilty pleasures, The Apprentice (so help me, I will never not find Trump’s bombast hilar) — every time I see her, I just think, “TAKE THE DEAL YOU IDIOT OMG,” which is what I most often find myself yelping during the show.

This dress though, should not really have been taken under ANY kind of deal. The color is lovely, but the whole thing has an unfortunate aura o’bridesmaid. And then I realized…there is illusion netting involved. Yes. That necklace is ATTACHED. And as you all know, while I do LOVE figure-skating ensembles, I prefer them on ice and not the red carpet. Look at the back:

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NAACP Image Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Keri Hilson


I have kind of a girl crush on Keri Hilson. I just think she’s so pretty. But let’s talk about her outfit:

I think it would be one-hundred-percent awesome if she were wearing it in a movie musical, during which she whipped off the skirt to reveal a super glamorous Esther Williams-y bathing suit, and then dove into a pool through a ring of flames, followed by a very complicated choreographed swim routine that managed to include both water-skiing and turbans. If that were the case, I’d dub this potentially TOO understated. Not nearly Awesome Show Girl enough. The question is: A I don’t believe she was doing double duty here both as Keri Hilson: Singer, AND Keri Hilson: America’s Synchronized Swimming Superstar Sweetheart, is this too much?
   

Let’s see what La Hilson wore for the show itself, shall we?
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