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Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Twelve


Today! Wills and Kate went to something called The Royal Easter Show, which best as I could figure out — please help me, Australians! — is somewhat like a really really LARGE county fair here in the US, full of livestock-shearing exhibits and people’s prize-winning pumpkins and whatnot. I actually love those parts of the fair: the livestock and the jams and the pies. The Los Angeles County Fair has an entire exhibition of tablescapes, and it is tremendous. I also have a friend who once cooked a literally prize-winning pie, which is just the best. In other words, this seems fun and also it led to some excellent photos, as you will soon see. A TON of people came out both to see them — Richard Palmer, who writes for the Daily Express, said on Twitter that it was anticipated to be something like 150,000 people — and presumably also to look at some truly glorious gourds. They they visited a children’s hospice (where Kate gave a speech) and hit the beach to look at a life-saving demonstration and also a surfing exhibition (or a swimming race? Something racey/swimmy/surf-y). Many a demonstration/exhibition/unveiling on this trip.

OUTFITS: Kate wore a white dress by Zimmerman, an Aussie designer (I learned this from the Duchess Kate blog’s twitter, HRH Duchess Kate. I have to say that the community of Kate Watchers on Twitter is very smart and helpful and friendly, and it’s been really fun tweeting with them throughout this tour). I really am into this dress. I would totally wear it to my casual summer wedding — and event that is, at this moment, totally fictional. It actually might be my favorite thing she’s worn all trip so far, at least in terms of being both new, and An Outfit A Normal Person Could Wear. Not that you teal Emilia Wickstead-wearing fashion plates are abnormal.

Footwise, she’s wearing her OTHER pair of Stuart Weitzman wedges (the Minx) –  this info per What Would Kate Do?’s twitter, and which I recognized from the South East Asia tour. Dammit, Kate. You are not helping me with my wedge addiction.

As for William, he wore a grass skirt and a coconut bra.  By which I mean he wore…drumroll...a blue suit. In fairness, this particular blue suit is extremely nice. Apparently at some point in the day, they went home and had lunch with George, and while they were home, he changed, and so it is William who actually has more than one get-up today, while Kate does not. Wonders will truly never cease.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Eleven


William and Kate’s first full day in Australia involved meeting with victims of a terrible and deeply destructive brush fire near Sydney — I know everyone has great sympathy in these instances, but as a Californian, seeing brush fire and earthquake victims in consecutive days also makes me feel a whole lot of empathy, and having all these feelings is just so strange — then planting a tree with the Girl Guides (I wish we called them Girl Guides in the US, because it’s so alliterative and I love alliteration), watching people rappel, taking in a seriously majestic vista, lurking in trees, laughing in cars, and the most important thing of all: WILLIAM DID NOT WEAR A BLUE SUIT. Just a blue blazer. I am mildly concerned about his pants, but we’ll discuss. One thing at a time, William. 

Kate is wearing DVF, which I identified all by myself, to my own great personal pride, at basically precisely the same moment everyone else figured it out, which meant that I got to watch with my own two eyes as the stock on DVF.com sold out completely. I timed it, and it took eight minutes for all but one size to sell out, and that one size went shortly thereafter (which I noted on Twitter, and which has since, to my delight, been picked up by the Daily Mail, although they implied it had sold out everywhere, and I do think you can probably still track it down elsewhere if you really try…. for now.) Designers have to be praying to the deity of their choice that Kate wears them, for real, because $$$. And I myself am not immune. I successfully stalked a pair of Kate’s wedges on eBay AND I bought a blazer that she owns (not the more recent double-breasted Zara, another one) a while ago. I mean, I legitimately needed a new blue blazer. I really, really did. But…yeah. Well, it’s the middle of the night. When better to confess these things to you? Just please tell me I am not alone in this. CONFESS YOUR PURCHASES. ENABLE ME.

And now let’s talk about those pants.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Ten, Part II


Part one involved puppies and George and bracelets, and then we moved from New Zealand to Sydney, which involved more George, but no puppies. As you will see, both Kate and Cheeks (as they call him over at What Would Kate Do? It’s VERY APT INDEED) have changed; William has not. Just once, Wills,  I want you to pop out of the plane in a pale blue seersucker. Come on. Make an American’s day. I’ve very supportive of you. It’s really the least you could do.

Before we get back into it: I must note that one of the reasons this trip has been so fun for us is that a lot of Fug Nation hails from all over New Zealand and Australia, and getting all your reports from the road (and getting to chat with y’all on Twitter and here on GFY when I am up in the middle of the night) has been really awesome. (I told you this tour is making me soft. Don’t worry. Some asshat will wear a coffee cup bra and I’ll snap right back.)

Kate’s dress is Roksanda Ilincic, which is a pretty au courant choice; we just saw Anne Hathaway and Jessica Pare and Shailene Woodley wearing her. It’s nice to see Kate in something a little more unusual (the yellow is, of course, apt for Australia), and she was smart to wear a frock that wouldn’t blow up over her head. I do think they’re both slightly miserable without sunglasses — it’s so bright there! Not to mention the fact that everyone…well, you know.

UPDATE: I’ve added more photos since last night. IF YOU CARE.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Ten, Part I


Today (so far) involved puppies! William holding George! And bracelets! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME, ROYALS? I cannot take it: THOSE ARE MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS. Anyway, it was W&K’s last day in New Zealand (which has looked so lovely; I really want to visit and I can’t wait for our fictional Fug Nation Wine Cardigan and Bracelet Retreat), and they popped over to the Royal New Zealand Police College and took a stroll through the Civic Center to meet and greet people — including, I believe, our own Fug National Lipstick Librarian, from whom I hope we get a full report! — before heading over to the airport to fly off to Sydney. Australia promises a reception at the Opera House and at LEAST one more outfit today alone, so I will be posting again about that at some point (probably quite late in Los Angeles, for our now traditional Midnight Post).

Here, Kate is wearing her Rebecca Taylor suit  — all blue suits for the royals this morning, all around! – which we first saw back in 2012. Taylor is from New Zealand, so that’s a nice farewell nod.

UPDATED: The final photo now courtesy of our own Lipstick Librarian, who had an excellent vantage point!

AS ALWAYS: Our complete coverage lives here; if it seems like you missed Day Nine, it’s because they had Day Nine off and presumably spent it sitting around eating  Twizzlers and playing with the baby.

[Photos: Getty]

 

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Fugdigger: Kim Kardashian in Balmain


“OMG.”

“TELL ME, KIMOTHY: WHAT’S WRONG WITH THEE? YOU DIDN’T LET ME SEE THAT THICK MONSTROSITY ‘TIL THEY’D BILLED IT TO ME FOR AN ENRAGING FEE. OR WAS IT FREE? IT HAD BETTER BE. BUT AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY I’M GONNA THROW IT IN A TREE OR MAIL IT TO PAWNEE SO IT CAN VOTE ABSENTEE IN THE BALLOT OF WHOOPEE VS. TEE HEE. ‘CAUSE NO CRYSTAL SNEEZE IS COMING HOME WITH ME. IT’S SIX-HUNDRED POUNDS OF EEEEE AND IT MAKES YOU LOOK CRAZY AND I’M A TALK ABOUT THIS IN HOUR NUMBER THREE OF OUR EVENTUAL THERAPY BECAUSE LIKE SOMETIMES I JUST REALLY DON’T KNOW WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AND I DON’T THINK WE’RE CONNECTING ON THE DOPEST PLANE.”

[PHOTO: FAME/FLYNET]

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Fug the Show: Lindsay on OWN, season 1, episode 6


The nut of this episode is about Lindsay being inconsiderate and blowing off Elle Indonesia, but the part I will cherish the most is the first chunk, in which it’s revealed that I believe Dina Lohan’s ghost writer hates her with the quiet fire of a thousand burning suns and might therefore be my soulmate.

First, though, the weirdest bit: A title card tells us that Lindsay has decided to film herself as part of the show. They cut back to the footage three times in the course of the hour, all clearly taken on the same night because she’s wearing this outfit in different iterations, and the stuff they show later makes me wonder what the true order of the footage would be. Are you tantalized yet? Spoiler: It involves wine. Which, if it were consumed, I would be willing to bet was before this piece. She clearly decided to do some kind of cracked-out acting exercise, because — as the camera jumpily zooms in, in, in, in, and then out, out, out, out, about three times, she goes from looking like a spleen-snacking serial murderer…

… to a crying goon:

So I guess… if any producers out there are looking to do some kind of tear-sodden cross between The Godfather and Candyman, Lindsay Lohan has just auditioned for it.

And now for the scene that might be my spirit animal.

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