Fug File: Harry Potter

Ron Fugsley

Okay, I know we already sort of dealt with ol’ Rupert here earlier in the Harry Potter photocall coverage, but then this happened:

I mean, it’s just a dude in jeans, somebody’s varsity team jacket, a loud t-shirt, and mismatched Converse (which may or may not be some kind of Stars and Stripes themed pair). Whatever. But I just wish he didn’t always look like he’d only woken up because housekeeping couldn’t stand the smell from his room and broke in and peeled him off the floor next to the toilet. If that IS what happened, then yay for housekeeping, because that bathroom floor must have been pretty gross. But if it isn’t, then I wish just once the kid would turn himself out nicely and make me think, “Aw, that Ron Weasley is going to be all right,” and not, “Aw, that Ron Weasley is going to pass out again in his ice-cream truck.”

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Fug or Fab: Emma Watson (With Guest Appearances By Other Potterites)

In advance of the junkets for Harry Potter 7 Part Two, Not To Be Confused With Part Eight, Which Does Not Exist, Emma Watson has dyed her hair from its sandy-brown hue to this rich dark shade. I love it on her. She looks even MORE like Ally Sheedy to me, from back when she was kind of awesome, before Short Circuit. Wait, who am I kidding? Her umbrella of awesome totally includes Number Five being alive. Anyway: This is going to be a very bittersweet press tour, especially because who knows what Emma will do acting-wise after this, or ANY of these people really, so enjoy it while you can. Not that I think Emma Watson will fade into the sunset. Not with that face, nor with her penchant for frilly mini-dresses. There will always be room in Hollywood for a pretty girl who’s not afraid to go leggy. Or Legsly, for that matter. But does this one work on her? View and vote, lovers. Whoops, I went all J.Lo for a minute there. Excuse me while I slip into a catsuit.

Vote hard:

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Well Played Cover: Emma Watson

Judging by the tweets and e-mails we’ve been getting, I may be in the minority here, but I kind of LOVE this cover.

And my affection is not just because Vogue resisted the temptation to slap an arbitrary number on its Must-have Fall Looks feature (finally they realize that I’m not going to pick up this issue just because it’s finally five-hundred-seventy-two things). No, I just think Emma looks fabulous. Some people have been taken aback by the strong eyebrows, but I think her face takes all that makeup beautifully and her skin is terrific — the whole thing is kind of a great blend of commercial and high-fashion. When I look at her I see a weird amalgam of Kate Beckinsale, Jamie Lee Curtis in that scene in True Lies where she ham-handedly seduces Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a Robert Palmer girl, and yet she’s all that without rendering herself unrecognizable as Emma Watson. Further, Miss Tyra would be moved to incoherence over the expressiveness in her eyes, and A.L.T. would be like, “It’s like a bon-bon at a literary salon on the French Riviera of my wildest dreams,” and Nigel would be like, “You’re FANTASTIC” and undress her with his eyes, and then all the other girls would decide she doesn’t want to be America’s Next Top Model enough for their liking and backstab her into quitting the show in tears. In other words, perfection. Like gum.

Also, seriously, how does one decide an island is “best-decorated”? Does that mean hot natives, or just a really great eye for decorative rocks and throw-pillows?


Fugtalia Tena

Natalia Tena here plays Tonks in the Harry Potter films, a character who — like or dislike her in the books, and I get the sense most people fall in the latter camp even though I fall into the former — is either unlikable or a total afterthought on screen. It’s a bummer. I don’t know that it’s Tena’s fault, but I do think she is not helping her cause here.

Convincing me that Tonks runs a rodeo-themed wedding chapel in Vegas is not making me want to see more of her. … Wait, shoot, that’s a lie, it IS making me want to see more of her. Damn her wizard tricks!


BAFTAs Well Played Omnibus

Sorry, BAFTAs. Between Fashion Week, the Grammys, and you, something was going to get the shaft, and unfortunately it was y’all. We need to move forward and not spend all of next week’s pre-Oscar days posting on an awards ceremony that’s firmly behind us. But the good news is, we thought a lot of people looked very pretty, including these five ladies. So what if we’re trying to knock out the pictures from your red carpet? The point is, these women are knockouts, period.


BAFTAs Weekend Fug(ish) Carpet: Emma Watson

Dearest Emma Watson, I know you probably want to be known for things other than your Harry Potter role. But throw me a bone, then, okay? Because if you hadn’t worn this, then I wouldn’t be sitting here thinking, “Oh, Hermione, I guess you walked into the wrong side of one of Draco Malfoy’s ruffling spell.”