Did anyone not tear up a little when Michael Douglas and CZJ swept onto the red carpet together?
Tears over him, because he’s reportedly beaten his throat cancer — tears I also shed, I might add, when everyone gave him a standing ovation as he walked out on stage, to which he humbly replied something akin to, “There has to be an easier way to get a standing ovation” — and tears over her, because well, it would be pretty bad-ass to be her. Look at her owning that thing. It’s massive. It’s mossy. It’s textured. It’s drapey. And it’s kind of fan-freaking-tastic on her. She knows it, too. Her face says, “Yes, that’s right. My husband beat cancer, and I beat all these other bitches in green, and you will be looking at me EVERY SINGLE TIME you catch sight of even a tiny strip of this dress on the screen. And you will LIKE IT, because I am Catherine Zeta-Jones, and I am still the reigning Most Pregnant Woman Ever To Haul Ass Up Onto An Awards Stage And Carry Off A Trophy, and admit it, you thought I was going to go into labor right then and there and have Jack Nicholson cut the cord. But I didn’t, because I am SO FABULOUS that my cervix actually obeys my orders.”
In other words, I really like that dress.