Fug File: green

Coyote Fugly

This isn’t a dress, to me, so much as an infomercial.

It’s part Snuggie, part sweatshirt, part poncho: the Snugshirtcho. Call now and get free instructions for how to turn it into a tent that houses three, and they’ll throw in a ripcord so you can deploy it as a reserve chute — you know, on those days when you’re up in a tiny plane hanging out watching movies and eating popcorn, before you realize you’re due at a party in half an hour. If I had a nickel…

[Photo: Getty]


Latin Grammys Well Played: Zoe Saldana

Oh my God. It’s not even fair.

Like, does she have to make it look so freaking easy all the time? This makes her look crazy tall, it’s a lively color, it’s sequins (the PRECIOUS), and her hair is perfect. I want to send her back in time to when she made Crossroads and be like, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave Britney with nuggets of your wizardry.” I mean, why NOT use her powers for good, huh?

[Photo: Getty]


Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Archie Panjabi

When I saw that Archie’s dress was green, I was really excited.

And then when I saw the REST of it, I was saddened. It… is it falling off of her? It’s so limp and lackluster, two things that neither Archie nor her alter-ego Kalinda are in the slightest. Seriously, her left half looks like it has the vapors.

and it gets worse


Fug or Fab: Freida Pinto

Freida Pinto must love this color, since this is the second time she’s worn it. And with good reason, as it glows on her. But what do we think of the gown itself? She tends to elevate much of what she wears, which is a huge compliment and a rare trick. Is this gown worthy of that? Let’s take a look.

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Fugs or Fabs: Jayma Mays

Apparently, Jayma Mays plays Neil Patrick Harris’s wife in the Smurfs movie, which I just noticed is also in 3-D, because why make a movie in Regular D when it could be in 3-D? (3-D gives me a headache, and apparently, so do The Smurfs. They just make me so smurfy. ARGH. SEE? They’re inescapable even when you don’t like them.  Gargamel, take me away.)

This is…not bad? I mean, it’s not offensive. It seems a bit to me like she shortened it from the original, though, which kind of makes it look like something you’d expect to see on one of the lesser girls from The Hills — she’s all strapless AND legs AND shiny AND bright, and as much as I hate to be all, “darling, are you a REALITY SHOW HANGER-ON, or a movie staaaar?”, if she gave herself a couple more inches in the skirt, I think she might have looked a little more movie star and a little less like someone who might be standing next to Spencer Pratt on Spencer For Hire, his new reality show on OWN, where he goes from Hollywood club to Hollywood club, trying to get someone to give him a job (note: I just made that up. It is not a real show. SPENCER, DON’T GET ANY IDEAS).

On the other hand, it could be worse:

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The Continuing Well Played Adventures of Will and Kate: Coming to America: This Post’s Title Is Like Something On Lifetime: Not Without My Prince.

They’ve got to be exhausted by now. At the very least, Kate’s hair dresser has to be sleeping in the bathtub at the Beverly Hills Hotel at the moment, cradling his blow dryer like a teddy bear and icing his carpal tunnel. Chin up, old chap! Your work has never been better.