Fug File: Gossip Girl

Fug or Fab: Blake Lively


Yeah, yeah, I know this is Chanel BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and ergo I should love it and embrace it and YADA YADA YADA please don’t come after me, Kaiser Karl, but I think this is the sort of dress that makes you look SUPER OLD unless you are so young that it’s clearly almost ironic:

And, of course, the sort of dress that also works if you ARE quite old and kind of fantastic. But if you fall in the middle — if you’re medium-aged and fantastic, for example — you just look musty in it.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fugsip Girls


Come on, Boobs.

You’re not Pamela Anderson. You’re not even Christina Hendricks. They can’t be THAT hard to wrangle.

Also,¬†as Jessica pointed out, if this party is any indication then these H&M for Versace (note: i am leaving this typo — it is Versace for H&M — because it is hilarious) clothes are from Planet WHAT. Some of the collection looks like this — the garb of refugees from a convention of people who once sat on the hoods of cars in hair metal videos — and then there’s this:

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Fug the Show: Gossip Girl, episode whatever


I kept thinking I’d combine these images from last week with whatever new Gossip Girl delicitrocities (that’s delicious + atrocities) were committed in last night’s new episode. And then there wasn’t one. Way to foil my plan, Halloween. You ARE a holiday of evil. Although in the end, Blair’s pants are a holiday of evil, too, so at least this timing does still work out.

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Fugsip Girl


We need to talk about what Dan Humphrey is doing to his hair.

I say “Dan Humphrey,” because I am wondering if it’s a character choice — like, now that we’ve been told Dan is North America’s most throbbing new writing talent, maybe he’s growing out his hair because he’s going to embark on a really pretentious artsy phase, and he has no friends left to tell him that he looks like a cross between John Mayer and Even Stevens.

This dispiriting, delinquent shrubbery is the second-most mystifying thing on Gossip Girl this season, the first being the fact that they found and hired a bunch of French actors with real French accents that inexplicably sound faker than Ed Westwick’s insistence on speaking only inside his own throat (you are not Kiefer, Mr. Bass, and this is not 24. PROJECT).

Actually, wait, there was one thing more perplexing, or at least equally furrow-inducing:

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Fugsip Girl


These pants are giving me a flashback to The Gap from, like, 1996.

The waist is so high it would fail a drug test, she is in danger of being haunted by a polterwang, and there’s so much fabric, it looks like she was wearing a miniskirt that took HGH and grew itself some slacks. I hope ALL of those factor into the show next season. Maybe Blair invents a time-traveling stretch limo that runs on acai berries and spite.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Blake Lively


Has Leonardo DiCaprio A-listed the boobs and the legsly right out of Boobs Legsly (and thus officially verbed the term “A-List”)?

Okay, no, the boobs are still there, but we can’t even see their Prime Meridian, and there’s only about an inch or two to spare above the kneecap. Dearest Leo, why did you have to go and make her all respectable? Don’t you know we NEVER want people to listen to us, no matter how hard we clutch our pearls? Whatever will we whine and flail about when everybody in the world dresses sensibly? The price of gas? Our debt rating? Alex Smith under center again for the once-great 49ers? Surely, Leo, you don’t expect us to go and grow up and talk about actual issues. No. FIX IT, SIR.

Actually, though, I’m still not sold on this, on its own or with the shoes — she looks more Actress of a Certain Age Gets Arc On Gossip Girl That Involves Making Out With Chace Crawford, instead of Young Actress On Gossip Girl Who Made Out With Him First. It actually also reminds me of the Blake of Yore who would get stuff custom-made that still somehow didn’t fit properly. Because something here is just… off.

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Fugsip Girl


I don’t know about you….

…but I liked this better when it was the sofa in my grandma’s rec room.

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