Fug File: Gossip Girl

Fug or Fab: Boobs Legsly


I think Blake Lively got her social schedule backward. She should have worn this to the Gossip Girl party…

… and saved Peacock Sugarbritches and the Magna Cum Laude for this Lady Gaga event at Barney’s, at which she could probably have worn three actual high-school graduates along with their tassels and everyone would’ve said, “Well, it’s Gaga Night, so that’s actually very restrained and wise.” Not that the blue suit positively screams Gossip Girl, but it does at least say, “My, how I’ve matured in 100 episodes or less.” Let’s start with the cons: The shoulder detail makes me a TOUCH concerned she’s going to grab a microphone and bust out some Barbara Mandrell covers, Violet Beauregard has about three of these in her closet at home, and mayhap the trousers don’t like her crotch. But I don’t know — something about it also works for me. Like she’s trying to be a shade more SWINTON than showgirl.

What's your stance?

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Leighton Meester


I like to think this is the moment when Leighton Meester first saw Blake Lively at this party:

Nothing takes off the pressure quite like realizing your castmate is dressed up as the hooker version of King Triton — it’s like her face says, “Oh, GOSH, BLAKE, you look ADORBS,” and her mind says, “Oh, thank God, no one will notice me, so I don’t have to worry about whether it looks like my boobs are wearing a seatbelt.”

SHOULD she worry?

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[Photo: Getty]

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XfugXfug, Gossip Fug


This is one of those things that is SO NOTEWORTHILY TERRIBLE that I am pretty sure I am going to choke like Sasha Cohen in an important Long Program, and fail to do it justice:

It’s like….

…..

……………..

…..

…..

FRINGE. BOOB SWIRL. ILLUSION NETTING. AND MORE FRINGE. I keep hearing those words in a loop, set to the tune of Target’s “DENIM, Shawn White Hoodies and DENIM” theme song,” except with “FRINGE” in the place of “DENIM” and, you guys, I would take a Shawn White hoodie over this, because I could work with that. Instead,  I’ve got half a joke about mold, three-quarters of a gag about a paper shredder, and a fifth of a jest about a fax machine, a beaver, and rabies. I’ve got part of a joke about figure-skating — although I already used one, so that’s out — and part of another joke about the fancy wall hangings at my local  Chinese restaurant, and then a hint of a gag about formal guest towels, and a wee bit about fire hazards mixed in with a dash of something about inadvertent self-strangulation, and a teeny hair of something about what’s going to happen when she gets all that fringe stuck to her lipgloss. I’ve got a totally half-cocked yada yada about horses’ manes — or possibly their tails? — and then a wholly unbaked blah blah blah about how her shoes totally don’t even match. I CAN’T MAKE THAT ALL WORK. THIS HAS BROKEN ME.  SO MANY REFERENCES. SO MUCH CRAZY. I’M BROKEN. I’M OUT.

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Fug or Fab: Blake Lively


Yeah, yeah, I know this is Chanel BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and ergo I should love it and embrace it and YADA YADA YADA please don’t come after me, Kaiser Karl, but I think this is the sort of dress that makes you look SUPER OLD unless you are so young that it’s clearly almost ironic:

And, of course, the sort of dress that also works if you ARE quite old and kind of fantastic. But if you fall in the middle — if you’re medium-aged and fantastic, for example — you just look musty in it.

Am I right, or am I right?

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fugsip Girls


Come on, Boobs.

You’re not Pamela Anderson. You’re not even Christina Hendricks. They can’t be THAT hard to wrangle.

Also, as Jessica pointed out, if this party is any indication then these H&M for Versace (note: i am leaving this typo — it is Versace for H&M — because it is hilarious) clothes are from Planet WHAT. Some of the collection looks like this — the garb of refugees from a convention of people who once sat on the hoods of cars in hair metal videos — and then there’s this:

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Fug the Show: Gossip Girl, episode whatever


I kept thinking I’d combine these images from last week with whatever new Gossip Girl delicitrocities (that’s delicious + atrocities) were committed in last night’s new episode. And then there wasn’t one. Way to foil my plan, Halloween. You ARE a holiday of evil. Although in the end, Blair’s pants are a holiday of evil, too, so at least this timing does still work out.

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